- 3. Being a Global Pariah Is Really Cool
Pulling out of the Paris Climate Agreement is not going to make us popular with the rest of the world. Nope — 194 countries worked really hard to figure out how to reduce their emissions to a manageable level, so when we keep on puffing greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere, they might get a little testy with us. But that’s okay, the cool countries are always loners anyway. And we probably don’t need other countries’ support in order to achieve our international goals . . . right?
Haven’t you had enough Chocolate Fudge Brownie and Vanilla Caramel Fudge? We’ve been cranking out chocolate and vanilla ice cream flavors since the very beginning (in fact, Vanilla was our very first flavor), and frankly, we’re tired of it. So when climate change makes it all but impossible for farmers to grow cocoa beans and vanilla, we’ll be fine. We’ll move on to other ingredients, like melted glaciers, penguin meat, covfefe, and human despair. Sounds delicious! Who else would like some sweet, sweet covfefe? Sounds like a delicious dessert in these days of the Trump Brigade. Last week, we knew nothing of covfefe but this week, Trump introduced it to us and we can't get enough. As global warming becomes a huge ass thing, just remember the sweet covfefe and that will guide you through the days. Your life might become even better with covfefe.2. We’re Sick of Chocolate and Vanilla Anyway
Hmm. I just checked and it worked. Try it again and if it doesn't work I'll try and find a mirror.