Again, I'm sorry to reinforce your existing worries, but I think age and your corresponding position as "student" allows them to feel no moral qualms about leaving you in the dark.
Eh, don't worry. I'm accustomed to it by now, at least more or less. Here's an excerpt from a talk with ThatFanficGuy on the same subject:
23:07 < ThatFanficGuy> Sounds odd that they'd push you away like that.
23:07 < ThatFanficGuy> You tell the story of a good teacher: never late, students enjoying your work...
23:08 < Devac> eh, I had worse. I also never commited any crime worse than jaywalking and yet every policeman I interacted with thinks that I'm either sassing him/her or look/do/seem suspicious
It's just one of those things at this point. Only, as you clearly know, can get to me easier than other problems.
The folks who treated you right are worth keeping around, and you'll remember which ones they are veryyyyy naturally.
Absolutely. I mean, don't all sane people have their own nice and naughty lists?
if I watched you lecture, I'd probably just end up feeling even more stupid than I do currently
Nice words coming from someone who accused me of having an impostor syndrome. Twice iirc. :P
Man, I wish I could be there to see what happens to them when they try to break you, in graduate school.
This might happen earlier than I was thinking. I crunched some numbers and if I play the next semester juuust right I might reduce my maths masters programme to one year (normally it's 3 years of undergrad and 2 years to get to masters). It's as if no-one involved in making our regulations had to ever min-max a fighter for a D&D game. Seriously, there are at least three loopholes about the course selection that apply to me.
in this instance, you don't need to go through them to lecture. Just set up sessions without directly involving the school, if people are interested. You should teach, it's the best way to learn.
Now that you mention it, university students can requisition any lecture room that isn't scheduled for any further use on a given day. Yess… I will gather the various geeks and nerds und other misfits into a single location and slowly mould them into problem-solving machines that are loyal only to ME!
My former high school will rue this day most dearly!