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comment by OftenBen
OftenBen  ·  2521 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: May 3, 2017

Having permission to feel good about myself is nice.

Maybe one day I won't need permission, I can simply think well of myself because I am not a complete shit-heap of a person.

Until then, having permission is nice.

Next show is the end of this month with the Detroit Symphony, we're doing Beethoven's 9th again. So much freude in the singing of it all, in the rehearsals.

Pretty much immediately after I finish up with the DSO, it's time for NYC and Carnegie Hall for the 3rd year in a row. This time there will actually be someone who knows me in the audience, which is comforting.

I like to remark to my friends and Robust Pleasure Source 'We're the adults now! We get to decide what that means!' And lately I've been really able to say that and mean it and take pleasure in self-actualization. If my idea of fun is laying in the sun and reading, nobody gets to gainsay that. I'm increasingly more comfortable in my own skin which is a fairly novel feeling.





blackbootz  ·  2521 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I'm increasingly more comfortable in my own skin which is a fairly novel feeling.

I wonder if this is what gradually getting older really means. Shit that tended to bother you stops bothering you. I already feel it to be true.

lil  ·  2521 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yup getting older hopefully means feeling more comfortable in your skin. That, and taking responsibility for your own part in your problems instead of blaming your parents, the universe, etc. Also adults can have dessert before dinner.

kleinbl00  ·  2521 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Hypothesis:

When we're younger, our validation is external - what our parents tell us, what our teachers tell us, what our classmates tell us. As we age and gain more responsibility, we not only lose the authorities in superior positions who can validate or criticize us, but our peer group diminishes dramatically.

We grow confident in our own skins because our own internal opinions remain strong while external forces grow weak.