Right-o. Sounds like you're gonna be okay, friend. Based on what your team lead said, you're your own worst critic. That's great! That means with some self-esteem exercises you can learn to stop beating yourself up!

Which doesn't mean everything's right as rain, as you were. It means that you're already doing much better than you thought you were and are therefore that much further on the path to greatness. For example:

If your job is to do SEO, and it "doesn't really matter at the scale you're doing it" that means you need to scale up. Bring that up in the review - mention that you feel underutilized and that you'd like some help exploring ways to extend your services to a greater audience. There's nothing but upside for them on this; it's a rare company that turns down the possibility of risk-free revenue increases. 'cuz let's be honest: there's nothing geospecific about SEO. Your clients could be anywhere. There. Now you're no longer reacting. You're being proactive. And look at the bright side - you can fail like a mutherfucker and it costs neither you, your company nor any of your clients a thing.

And don't "cut" a hobby, which is what lit.cat is. Backburner it, scale it back, put it on hiatus, and promise yourself you'll get back to it when you can afford the time and energy. That gives you the opportunity to putter with it when you've got the time and the inclination. I ain't never gonna give you shit for wanting to support clients and coworkers.

One last thing: it may be cheaper to send emails to freelancer.com, but if you're underutilized your time is effectively free. Not only that, if it's fulfilling for you to work on stuff like that, see if you can't convince your peeps to let you take a whack at it occasionally for the simple reason that it increases your job satisfaction. The most efficient way isn't always the best way - sure, long-term you're probably more cost-effective as an SEO guy than as a designer. But sometimes you gotta flash the skillz. Did you know, for example, that the top 20 or so architecture firms in Seattle compete every year to make the dopest gingerbread house? and that they've been doing it for 25 years? Talk about a waste of billable hours... But they do it. Because it's fun. And they lord their wins over each other.

Do some web design sometimes. Show of your skillz. Let them know what you can do. Who knows where it might lead.