Damn. Sorry for the chaos, man.
But ya know what... I saw something in your writing... it's like you went through a bit of a cathartic process. I wonder if maybe you should make a habit of it? Writing. Journaling. Blogging. Whatever.
In between the lines, it seems like you were able to process stuff by just letting it out. Any chance you might visit the library daily, and write as a regular thing?
Even having a 1-item To Do List is something, and it might help you keep on keepin on, until things turn around.
Sending good vibes your way... (that's trite, I know, but it is honest)