Everything must be measured. Food. Water. Weight. Sodium intake, serum sodium levels, potassium intake, serum potassium levels, calcium intake, serum calcium levels, bi-daily symptom inventories and ADL-based quality of life surveys.
I'm all in favor of the quantified self but this is just out of hand.
Been eating mostly like a rabbit to recalibrate my taste buds to a lower sodium diet. Whenever I'm free to eat as I please, a salad always sounds like a good idea, but when my options are limited I come to resent them.
Meditation last night was... Different somehow. I've been in a rut for a long time now with regard to my practice and last night felt like a return to the first time I touched on the phenomenon of 'watching the watcher' that's so commonly described in Buddhist and Daoist practice. I am now familiar with this, but there was an unfamiliarity to last night that felt like what I might loosely term 'progress.'
Short version - I reaffirmed that I don't want to be an asshole to myself constantly. When I am being an asshole to myself, it is a reaction to a feeling of utter scarcity. 'There isn't enough, and the weak will go without. There is never enough, and the weak will go without. You are weak, you will go without' It isn't who or what I am, or what I believe. Meditation has to one degree or another showed me that I am not the angry, judgemental, disappointed thoughts that sometimes (Often) occupy my brain. It's not a solution, but it's a start.