a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by lil
lil  ·  2787 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: August 31, 2016

    Really? It felt more like 6 months was reasonable. Whatever, I'm out of practice at saying this and meaning it.
People wanna hear it whether you "mean it" mean it or just mean it. Whether you mean it or not, saying it is mostly pro forma. Saying "I love you" gives them a chance to say, "I love you too," or "I don't want to hurt you but..."

Saying it makes it look like you're putting your cards on the table and why not?

Say it, be vulnerable, open, and woundable. Be confident, courageous, and better-to-have-loved-and-lost. Saying it or not saying it has more to do with expressing feelings in a verbal way, in the -- take-it-backable, it-all-depends-on-the-definition -- thing that language is.

Actually loving someone is the-day-in-day-out grind of respecting them, supporting them, feeling heard and understood and making an effort to hear and understand them.

If the behaviour seems to support the words, then maybe words have more than passing meaning.





steve  ·  2787 days ago  ·  link  ·  

This is why I love lil

lil  ·  2787 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You're just saying it. But saying that you're going to match my hubski donation, then actually doing it: man that's real love.

(tee hee) (love you too, and your wife and ten children) (or was it 8, I lost count)

steve  ·  2786 days ago  ·  link  ·  

up to 572 at last count.