comment by Cedar

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comment by Cedar

Cedar · 2838 days ago · link · · parent · post: There's a Few Things About Me I Think You Should Know

I love the poem lil and I'm glad you decided to share it; it reminds me of one of my favourite songs As The Years Go By - Mashmakhan.

The idea of six word stories has been mulling around in my head lately, so that'll influence this and I'm going to draw on inspiration from the word cloud for my diary. Here goes:

---

Hear me say 'I am alone'

and know this is not true;

Of friend ships, one has many,

and with 'Hello' more will grow.

'I need a job' is true,

but not to say the truth;

my desire is not monetary, no,

instead 'Please let me prove myself'.

'I miss you' is the simplest

why not say what I mean,

whilst my audience: it may change,

the only reply's in my dreams.

---

Bonus:

'It's not very good', 'Oh. Posted.'

markup tips · 0

lil · 2819 days ago · link ·

I just realized that each line has six words - what a neat exercise.... I will try it.

Please spell replies like this: reply's - meaning "the only reply is in my dreams"

(for the benefit of future readers)

+discuss+discuss

–

Cedar · 2819 days ago · link ·

Fixed it for you :)

+discuss+discuss

lil · 2838 days ago · link ·

Wonderful poetic demonstration that what we say falls so short of what we mean. Thanks for posting.