Cultural Anthropologists Find Man Who is Actually Living the Dream
Cultural anthropologists working with the National Institute of Health and Science have found a man that is "conclusively living the dream."
According to the report, Mark Van Orden of Cincinnati Ohio has been "living the dream" for the past 23 years. Neighbors are baffled as Van Orden is said to be a disheveled, somewhat introverted loner that lives in his parents basement and works as an "IT guy" for a small CPA firm.
"I always thought it was just something Mark would say when I asked him how he was," said co-worker Lillian Bloom. "I had no idea that he was literally living the one, all-binding universal dream." Co worker Elizabeth Blue added, "he literally says it several times a day. There are times I don't even ask him how he's doing and unprompted he will tell me that he is living the dream. I guess I never realized what he was really trying to tell me."
"It's fascinating," said Dr. Ben Katakowski, lead scientist, "since concluding his participation in the study, Van Orden has changed his tune." Katakowski continued, "Now when asked how he is doing he will reply, if I were any better, I'd be you."
Dr. Katakowski continued, "whether or not Van Orden could literally turn in to you, someone else or even myself if he were in fact 'any better' is still unsettled science. But we're working on it."
shout-outs from the old "short story club" days:
zebra2, AshShields, kleinbl00, maynard, _refugee_, onehunna, Becoming_Betty, humanodon, lil, Floatbox, cW or theadvancedapes, insomniasexx, steve, thenewgreen, delta, insomniasexx, mk, veen, mike b_b, elizabeth
I'm outsourcing to galen who outsourced to The Guardian. Eric Schmidt was backstage leaning against a tower of pallets and wearing an ornate top hat and a vest made of mirrors. He said he was at Further Future mostly because these were his friends. “It’s well documented that I go to Burning Man. The future’s driven by people with an alternative world view. You never know where you’ll find ideas. ”“It’s the Burning Man 1%,” said Charles, a documentary filmmaker with spikes pierced through his ears and a brainwave meditation startup. “It’s curated.”
I got carried away with making puns and forgot about the actual satire or making sense. Several Injured and 3 Dyed After Colliding with a Food Colouring Truck Hubston locals are feeling a little blue after news of a road traffic collision that occurred on Sunday morning. However, the exact cause of the accident is still a gray area. Eye witnesses say the driver fled the scene with a yellow belly moments after incident. The event is a hot talking point for the community, especially as the road remains closed for the foreseeable future. "Initially I saw red," commented victim Brian Staynes. "I was wearing new clothes they were ruined. " Fortunately for Brian, the dyes can be washed out. Some of the colorants also splashed over into neighboring gardens. One women who was tending to her plants at the time is reported to have suffered from a green thumb. However, emergency personnel say that there are no serious injuries resulting from the crash. Others saw the funny side though. Joe Hughes was on his way to an audition for the local theatre's production of 'Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat'. "Now I'm living that dream," he said. Read More: Uncanny: See how these can manufactures have made their new range look like jars Legally blind man ends up with a lifetime supply of herbs after friends thought he said he was "parsley sighted" Invasive species of giant crabs cause mass rail delays after they crushed stations
I think shout-out's are still fucked. Let's see if they work in comment form: zebra2, AshShields, kleinbl00, maynard, _refugee_, onehunna, Becoming_Betty, humanodon, lil, Floatbox, cW or theadvancedapes, insomniasexx, steve, thenewgreen, delta, insomniasexx, mk, veen, mike b_b,
Did you get the shoutout from the post and from the comment or just the comment?
Thank you. Did you notice the nod in my piece. Such a great name...
No, I didn't notice my very own name in your post. LOL! Of course I did! Although, I don't exactly know what you are implying about me. I have a room with window on the 7th floor, not a basement. ;) I only got for the comment. :(