I'm new to reading about the things you're going through, so forgive me if you've already explained this. Why are you doing all these things? Is there a bigger plan to all of this? I have to admit that I got tired reading your list of stuff to do also. It seems like a lot. I used to love school and learning, so I would have energy for that, but the rest would have me down too. If you don't like school, that's even harder. Would it motivate you to do something if your reward were to lie in bed watching TV shows for at least a little while? Is there any other way to take at least an emotional break? It sounds like you're doing a lot and then expecting even more when that's done. I'm familiar with some of the feelings you're having, so I hope that things get better for you.
I'm glad that you're thinking about things. A word of caution: try not to globalize the questions too much. Why am I doing this? will quickly turn into What am I doing with my life? which can quickly turn into Why am I even here? Those are unanswerable questions. Spending too much time on unanswerable questions just makes one's head hurt. If you can, try to break down the question into smaller tasks or areas. Some thoughts on doing things you don't want to do. These tips are from Martha Beck (a lifecoach who has written a lot of books). Make a list of specific things you don't like doing. Then better it, barter it or bag it (the three B's). Barter means to trade the task with a friend. Can you have someone cook for you if you do their cleaning (or some task you like better)? Better it means to look at it differently and see if you can change the nature of the task. Can you make cooking more fun for yourself by learning easier techniques or changing the things you cook or the way you're cooking it? Bag it simply means to let it go. If you decide to bag cooking and just get ready made meals, can you find the money for it somewhere else in your budget? You might enjoy this youtube video by Noah Elkrief on depression and how to deal with the things when you don't enjoy anything. You might also like his video on procrastination. He has a different take on those topics that I haven't heard before.
I was thinking you might be able to kill two birds with one stone if you consider watching youtube as watching TV. You could watch some youtube channels on making cooking easier, if you haven't already. There's Brothers Green Eats. It's a channel where a couple brothers use inexpensive ingredients to cook up some easy stuff. You might also want to check out r/studentfood , r/eatcheapandhealthy, and r/mealprepsunday for some ideas on how to cut down on cooking time while still getting delicious and nutritious food.