Nothing feels better than getting back in the rhythm of the gym. 2 miles, sub-15 mins. 5x5 squats, finally got to back 135 today. 5x5 bench, finally got back to 135 today. 5x5 deadlift, finally got back to 135 today. 2 sets of 20 push ups and 1min planks, cried inside less today. After a year of fucking around and losing all my strength and a all my muscle, it's fucking really good to be back. Celebratory cigarette on my walk home? possibly the worst decision I've made in weeks. Never said I'm perfect :S
It's just what I'm capable of at the moment :D I could definitely put up the deadlift but I'm trying to perfect my form, and still havent decided if the regular or sumo lift is better for me.
My guess is that it's because of the different kinds of muscles used - your back muscles combined are, for almost everyone, stronger / bigger than their leg muscles, which are stronger than their arm muscles. My deadlift PR was almost twice my squat PR, just as an example.
Shame. Think of it this way, then: you're beating everyone who isn't doing any weight right now. If you measure your life from the successful people's, you'll always find yourself missing something, when in fact, the truth of what you have comes from what you had and what you gained. I came to call it "measuring from zero than from a hundred", referring to percentage of achieving some sort of an ideal that we chase blindly. It's not what we don't have that defines us - it's what we do have, and right now, you have it quite well, don't you?
What I left out was that my bench PR was half my squat, and that my squat form was appaling. Either the squat weight is too light to matter or my weak as shit ankles were in the way. Everyone in the gym sucks in their own special way. That said, eat more proteins and heavy reps will get better over time. It's the trendline that counts, not the outliers.