Move outside the Valley.
My workload isn't any greater than any other profession's. I've worked places that demand 60, 70, 80 hour weeks in the past. Don't work for those companies. Outside the Valley, they're the minority. Be sure to ask in job interviews how many hours the team typically works, and save enough to quit if they start demanding it.
To answer your question directly, I don't get an immense workload, I work 8–5, and if I don't get enough sleep it's because I'm stupid, not compelled by my job. Deadlines happen where I end up working 'til 8 for a week, but not more than once a year or so.
If you insist on working in the Valley, there are companies with sane working hours, and you can find them. It'll just make job searching twice as hard, and mean you have to be that much better a candidate to get those jobs.
The standard definitely rises with your skills. If you suck at your job, it's easier to demand more hours of you. But that's probably true of any profession. Just don't get caught in the Dunning–Kruger Effect and know your worth, and you'll be fine.