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comment by tla
tla  ·  3201 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: An essay about explaining racism from the guy who wrote "Go the Fuck to Sleep"

You're always going to insult some people you deny service to. Not everyone will be offended, and people who are pissing away their troubles will respond particularly badly. You seem to be panicking that you're going to get in trouble because someone assumed you denying people based on legal requirement was because of race. You won't get in trouble so long as you're not letting the white people get away with it. You're the gatekeeper of your own consistency.

If you preempt it as a matter of practice, refer to the denial for the inevitable and obvious attempts to loophole around the law, and do so meticulously across the clientele, you won't have any meaningful problem beyond a belligerent drunk. Those happen.

Don't try claim that people of color always get to blackmail white people. Just don't be that guy. Seriously.





NoahTheDuke  ·  3201 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    You seem to be panicking that you're going to get in trouble because someone assumed you denying people based on legal requirement was because of race.

Well, I've been fired from many jobs, for many legitimate and illegitimate reasons. I try to excise the elements of my "on the job" personality that have gotten into trouble in the past, and attempt to learn from others mistakes too, you know? I seriously don't want to be fired, and I don't want to give a guest a bad time, and I want to serve people as much alcohol as they can handle because that directly makes me money. So when I read about this interaction, all I can think is, "How would I have done this differently?" and the answer is, "I wouldn't have." and that doesn't make me feel good.

    You won't get in trouble so long as you're not letting the white people get away with it. You're the gatekeeper of your own consistency.

That's absolutely true, and I've bolded it because of how much I agree. Do you think the bartender in the story was inconsistent?

    Don't try claim that people of color always get to blackmail white people. Just don't be that guy. Seriously.

You point to where I did it, and I'll fix it.

NoahTheDuke  ·  3201 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Hey, a follow-up.

Rereading this interaction, and I see my comments looking a lot more combative or aggressive than I had intended or anticipated. I'm sorry about that.

Further up in the thread, #thewoodenaisle deconstructed the situation in a way that makes a lot of sense to me, so know that my opinion on the matter has changed a bit. I wouldn't change my behavior in that scenario (as the bartender), but New York's reaction makes a lot more sense.

Thanks for talking to me about this.