Hello everyone So, I am in my last semester of engineering school and I am worried sick about what will come next. I haven't yet landed a job in any of the career/job fairs. The thing is, this is not how I expected my life to be at the end of four years of college. All through school, I was an excellent student, always in the top three of my class. And, then college happened. I got into one of the best colleges in my country and I couldn't keep up. I scraped by with average grades. In the beginning, I tried hard , and managed to keep up a good enough GPA. But soon, I started to slacken. And, this is not because of my lack of interest in my major. I genuinely love my major, maybe not all parts of it, but most. In fact, I enjoyed both of my summer internships related to my field immensely. Now, it is the final semester and I am just an average student with an average GPA, and no job. Looking back at my high school self and college years, I feel increasingly disappointed in myself. I feel guilty of not trying harder in the earlier days when i could have still improved. I am tired of job applications. I fail to get excited in things my friends are excited about, the things I used to be excited about. I feel useless and question the purpose of everything I do. Last week was my birthday. Every year, on my birthday, I used to feel a sense of accomplishment, of having done and experienced things. This year, I lacked any sort of feeling on my birthday, just worried about turning 21 and not knowing what to do next. I don't even like the person I am becoming. For instance, today was the start of my college's annual cultural festival and I didn't go. I think my friends are annoyed at me not going in spite of their urging. I don't want to feel like this and I don't want to spend the last year of college like this. I feel all my problems will be solved if I get a job that I love. I don't know if this rant will help me in any way. I hope you read this and tell me what you think. I just want to talk to someone about how bad I feel.
A good day to you all :)