One of the best thing about having lots of friends are the endless stories that emerge in conversation. Tell me one that you've been dying to share, never been able to share due to lack of context, et cetera.
Tell me a story
So I lived in the middle of a forest before, when I was 14. Back then I went with the bus to my school in a small town every morning and back every afternoon. The bus only left twice or maybe trice a day and that meant that if we ended early I would be left alone with nothing to do. I've always been somewhat of a wallflower, but I don't deal well with being alone and having nothing to do. When this happens i usually go for a walk to think. I'm an only child who lived out in the country with two neighbors so i was alone a lot. I like to think this has given me a very colorful internal monologue.
Well I had had a stressful week and we'd just ended early. It was two hours until my bus would show up. I made a quick calculation in my head and realized that I could probably walk the 10 km to my home in two hours. And I really wanted a long walk to think.
So of I went, following the path my bus took every morning. The only problem is that the bus takes the motorway for a little while and i couldn't go walking along the motorway. I knew there was a way through the forest but I'd never taken it.
It had taken quite a bit longer to walk then I had thought, but I was feeling fine - I decided that the most logical course of action was to curt right through the forest.
I did this for a while but soon got tired and decided to sit down and rest. And I fell asleep. This was in October by the way. In Sweden. It was below 0 C outside. When I woke up there was frost on the ground and I was cold as hell. And my phone had run out of charge.
I legitimately thought I was going to freeze to death. I was laying therm waiting for it to happen because at least then I wouldn't be freezing.
After a while of laying there and crying and being pissed off at my self for being maybe the stupidest person alive I realized that i sure as hell didn't want to die.
So i started walking. I jumped over a stream and my shoes got wet so i discarded them and put my gloves on my feet. I sprained my ankle at some point. I fell down more times then I care to count.
But I kept on walking until i got home.
And i did. At four in the morning. With my homeroom teacher sitting in my kitchen.
Basically the whole town had been out searching for me.
I especially remember one teachers reaction when I came back. She asked my If I'd had nightmares about it. I hadn't had those... well yet anyway but I was really touched she asked.
Later she told me she had told the story to her five year old whom had run away in the middle of it before she had managed to convey that I had in fact survived.
Today I usually tell the story as the time i managed to get lost on my way home from school. It's kind of funnier and simpler that way.
Once upon a time, I had been getting drunk at my favorite bar. A dear crush came in just as I was leaving - as I knew I was drunk. I insisted we take a shot. It was the fatal "one shot too many." I have blacked out twice in my life and this was one of those times. I left the restaurant knowing I was too drunk to drive and set out for the nearest Wawa, a 30-45 minute walk away. Good to sober me up. On the way there a car of three men pulled up next to me and offered me a ride. Thankfully, I was wasted but not stupid. I refused. I only know this because I was texting as I walked.
Walked all the way to Wawa, got a Monster and maybe food and walked back, and an hour and a half later back at my car knew I was still too drunk to drive. Texted my friend who I'd been texting when the guys tried to give me a ride. He had offered me a couch to sleep on...3 hours ago. Now I was trying to take him up on it.
He was awake and when I arrived at his house the first thing I did was insult his hair. I was very insistent about sleeping on his couch and nowhere else and snuck out at 7am without saying bye.
The horrifying part for me is that 3 men tried to "offer a rode" to a visibly drunk girl and somehow although blackout I was smart enough to say no. Thank god I was smart enough to say no.
This I am comfortable sharing.
Of the three stories I have heard like this, two of them ended up involving rohypnol. If you aren't paying attention, it looks like a girl who didn't know her limits. If you are paying attention, it looks like a girl who went from tipsy to sloppy blackout drunk in the space of a Black Russian.
The ultimate tell is a crippling hangover. Just be aware - if you ever find yourself far drunker than you feel you should be, there may be an agent responsible other than alcohol.
I'm really certain in this case it was just going too far - I was already slurring-my-words drunk when I took that shot, my inhibitions were generally not lowered (while I did insult the hair of the guy who let me crash immediately upon arrival, I also adamantly and repeatedly confirmed that there would be no bootay-having), and I had almost no hangover.
Roofies definitely happen. I try to be cautious about my drinks. As far as I'm aware I've never been drugged... The only other time in my life i've blacked out was definitely due to me not knowing my limits and overindulging. But I have friends who believe they've been roofied. I don't go to that bar.
Holy shit. I really, really don't know what to say to that. That must've been terrifying.
To be fair? Your story, totally terrifying as well.
One time my brother convinced me to rub poison ivy all over myself so I would get off school. I remember intently searching out all shiny three leaved (leafed?) plants I could find in our wooded backyard. I truly rubbed them everywhere. I had to go to the hospital because my face swelled so much my eyes were nearly shut. They put me on steroids and that was when I finally learned to swallow pills. I think I was in 5th grade. That would be about 9 years old, mabe 10 as it was the end of the school year.
That seems less "yes that really happened" than just "this is a crazy fucked up story" though. As I responded to this thread I noticed more of my stories are the latter than what i think the former describes.
Regarding terrifying - I think I find your story so terrifying because my panic response is - for various reasons - to just shut down and become uncomfortably compliant.
I will basically do what someone tells me to, even if it's something I really don't want to do.
I think you understand why this can be problematic.
I try to avoid all and any situations where that could happen and I've been successful/ish so far.
I feel you on the "this is a crazy fucked up story" part. I've had many incidents where I'm like "I'll tell you a funny story" and listeners are like "That's fucked up".
I was hiking to a mountain lake. Long story short, didn't tell anybody where I was going and needles falling into melting divots look a lot like footprints. It took me 20 minutes of carefully going back over my footsteps in fading light to realize I was off trail, 20 miles from the road, in shorts and a T-shirt, above the snowline, with 70lbs of cameras worth around 10 grand. But, of course, no space blanket, no firestarter, no emergency rations, none of that useful shit.
Had to hike 6 miles down a river to find a bridge, then 12 miles on a dirt road before I found pavement, then another 4 miles before anybody picked me up. Called in sick the next day, then went out to buy a GPS (REI failed to sell me one - talk about shitty salespeople). Got home and my legs were swollen 2" outside my socks like rotting sausages. Went to the ER with acute rhabdomyelosis. The attending said "it was a good thing it was you and not me because if I were in your spot I'd be dead."
TL;DR I feel ya.
There was another time my scirocco threw a wheel over an arroyo 'cuz I was driving like an asshole in Arizona; I was 25 miles from town and decided to overland the loop to save myself a couple hours. But I could see town the entire time, since it was night and there was a moon. I found a skull and spinal column from a deer halfway through that loop, bleached and awesome, like I was gonna be. I took it back and turned it into a lamp.
My life was probably saved those two times by my resolve to do something about my shitty sense of direction. I was partying with friends in Maine one summer at someone's house. Wasn't feelin' it (I was the only one without a girl). So I decided to walk back to the cabin we were staying at. I went 17 miles the wrong way (in sandals) and had to hitch back. Didn't want to do that ever again.
Oh, we called the national hospital helpline after I got home. They laughed when they heard my story and my name because I'm named after a girl in an famous Astrid Lindgren story that everyone in Sweden is familiar with. In the story she runs of and lives in the woods.
To find my way home I listened to the motorway and made sure I had the moon on the same side the whole time.
It was really nice/funny/tragic to see everyone post pictures on facebook about the beautiful night sky. (that they had taken while looking for my lost ass) I mean, yes really fucking pretty but also really fucking cold.
I think it is so interesting that it is and I think that is reveals a lot about what issues a country has by what Astrid Lindgren book is their favorite.
Nope, I had nosebleeds for days afterwards and I was freezing for a week but luckily nothing of the sort.
One night, I was supposed to go out with my roommates in college but I decided to spend the evening with my girlfriend. My roommates were all dosed at the bar, unbeknownst to some of them. One guy, Johnny (a bonified southern red-neck) never did anything beyond drinking beer. He hardly touched liquor, yet alone weed, let alone acid. It was Johnny's birthday and he was good and drunk while at the bar. The guy, his name was Saint, that was walking around dosing everyone, asked Johnny to stick out his tongue. Johnny obliged and got dosed, but he wasn't satisfied and he said to Saint that he wanted "more." He got more.
Later that morning, I got a phone call from one of my roommate Ian telling me I had to go bail out Johnny from jail at about 4am, we are all still tripping.... My response, "fuck off, I'm sleeping."
Turns out that Johnny was so whacked out that he had to walk home. On his walk home has passed a house that looked so much like the home he grew up in he just had to go inside. Once inside he felt so comfortable that he grabbed a DVD and put it in the DVD player. Johnny sat on the couch for about 15 minutes, watching TV before the cops came in and arrested him.
Can you imagine being the family upstairs when some drugged out redneck is sitting on your couch watching a movie?
That actually happened.
Johnny is now a commercial airline pilot.
That happened too..
I think I've told this one before, but:
I almost died when I was like, five. Not because of the infected lung tissue I had at the time (the surgery would come later), but, I was with family up in the mountains. Past...Estes Park, I think. We had a picnic set up. I strayed too far. Leaned over the Colorado river's raging rapids, checking it out....
whoop!
Woops.
Had my cousin not been nearby to swoop me back up, I would not be here. Still have problems sticking my head under water when swimming, etc. I get anxious.
Other ones I can elaborate on if you'd like:
That time I ALMOST MET ROBIN WILLIAMS, FUCK.
That time I found myself at the top floor of a skyscraper-party with a bunch of Saudi Royalty.
That time I got held up by cop-wait, I've told that one, like, three times.
That time I survived Digital Arts (might have told this one) and played tag in our high school at 12 AM.
That time I got into a fight.
Presenting: 8bit's Gauntlet of Craziness: If Only HIs Life Were This Interesting Even 1/4 of the Time!
- That time I ALMOST MET ROBIN WILLIAMS, FUCK.
This is a short one. He was in Boulder for a show. I was at work when I got a call from my sister, who was with my family shopping at Pearl Street.
"Robin Williams was in the store just now!"
"Woah, what!? Did you get a picture with him and stuff?"
"...No...we didn't realize he was there the whole time we were at the store until he was already gone."
"..."
---
- That time I found myself at the top floor of a skyscraper-party with a bunch of Saudi Royalty.
I used to go to the American International School of Riyadh.
"Woah 8bit, that sounds so interesting and different, I bet it was cool!"
Fucking. NO.
AISR was an absolute hell and Riyadh did nothing to help. It was ridiculously hot, I wasn't allowed to wear shorts, movie theaters are banned, women aren't allowed to drive. Beyond that, private schools and I don't mix. Literally the only positive note is that I literally melted all my baby fat at the school gym there.
SPEAKING OF.
The kids that went there were all ridiculously rich in comparison to my scholarship butt. Many of them were royalty, nephews and nieces and cousins of the King of Saudi. The rest were all children of CEOs, etc. These fuckers would fly to India on weekends and I wish I was making that shit up. A lot (most) of them were there for bragging rights that the parents could have at dinner parties. The teachers there were looking for a paycheck and not much else, and that reflected in their teaching style.
So anyways, I was invited by said royalty to a party at the top floor of a mall there. They found my quiet sarcasm cute, I think. They also didn't know I knew Arabic, which I used to my advantage to hear what they really thought of me. I'm like "sure why not, more interesting than literally anything else in this country."
Hit up the party. It had two bouncers at the front door.
What. The. Fu-
There is no crazy like real, repressed crazy. I know I talked about a party I went to here, but in all honestly, the one in Saudi trumps it in debauchery. I didn't count it because I was barely there before I left. In three words: Alcohol. Fountains. Everywhere.
I left the school a little afterwards. That shit was cray, to sum it up.
---
- That time I survived Digital Arts (might have told this one) and played tag in our high school at 12 AM.
There were six of us in Digital Arts. It was a cluster of stupidity. Our teacher was ridiculous. He didn't teach us a single thing. I self taught myself through two years of that class. We still talk about him to this day. We had an exam for DA that requires us to hold an exhibit for an examiner that flies in from Switzerland to check out our work. It was April-ish, and we all thought the exam would be three weeks after Spring Break. Which is what our teacher told us. "Take a break guys, you've been working hard!" No sweat, I can dig that. So I go to Disneyland and chill and it's awesome.
Come back from Spring Break. Teacher walks into the classroom.
"So, remember when I said the exam was three weeks from now? It's actually next week."
Fucking. WHAAAAAAAA-
So we have one week to make up three to four projects. Render said projects. Print them out, fix mistakes, then PRINT THEM AGAIN.
Well there was only one thing to it. A 48 hour marathon between the six of us at our highschool to churn this shit out.
I...honestly don't remember much from those 48 hours. I showered in our school gym's lockerroom and my mom brought everyone Chipotle, which is cool. There was a lot of giggling. Our teacher left us there at the 10 PM mark of the first day because, and I quote, "I have a wife and kids to go home to!", so we raided his candy drawer for the Freshmen and Sophomores. When we took breaks we watched Gurren Lagann and played tag in the school. It was hella dark, the emergency lights were the only things on, and a couple of sections were locked off. I distinctly remember running into a locker.
Good fun. We're all very close friends now. And we all passed! Wooh.
---
- That time I got into a fight.
Alright, THIS little bitch in my highschool apparently thought I was trying to flirt with the girl he was dating. I'm not even going to try and explain that one. If you've read things I've written on this site, you will know that this will never happen in a million years. Cornered me on a staircase when the security guard wasn't looking, threatening me and trying to get me to fight him. I guess I should amend an 'almost' to that sentence, though. Because like shit I was gonna fight anybody over a girl I barely know, I've got better shit to do. Weirdo. Yeah, no. Anyways he backed off for whatever reason. The kid that was with me at the time told me I looked really bored, which I guess I was, and that probably threw him off. And that same kid decided to report it and the prick got a week's suspension. No effort, all reward. Cool.
---
- Bonus Story! 8bit, do you even people?
The hot girl from my 11th Grade Philosophy Class: "Hey 8bit, I need some help with my homework, do you mind coming over?"
Ugh Jesus, do I have to? Fiiiine.
Show up at hot girl's house. Completely empty. "Hey, my dad's at work and my mom's on a business trip, so the house is completely empty right now.
Uh, okay, why the hell does this even matter to me. "Okay, so where's the homework? You're straight up just lying on the couch, I thought you needed help."
"I know, but I thought we could just, you know...talk first."
"...Sure. How we talk about the Philosophy homework that you needed help with so badly?"
And that I helped that hot girl with her Philosophy homework so hard, she probably couldn't even sleep afterwards. You know how I do.
I try to forget that last one, but I like you, Hubski.
Oh god.
That last one brings up memories.
"Hey SBG do you want to study for history"
eh why not
wait.
he's staring at my boobs
goddammit
he is so bad at this
he isn't even helping with studying.
The funny part is that I remember thinking basically "I would not mind this if was at least concentrating on history even slightly so this would not be a complete waste of time"
I saw Ed Sheeran loading his stuff into a van after a gig and got his autograph. This was back when he hadn't really struck it big over here, and he was opening for Snow Patrol at the Fillmore in Detroit. I left partway through Snow Patrol's act (because I wasn't really feeling it). Now in the Fillmore there are two sets of doors. The big ones at the front of the building, and a smaller door over by the side that I guess is for the staff. I went past the second door to get to the parking lot, and there he was. He was nice. I've still got the CD he signed.
I thought I don't have a story, but I just remembered one :)
End of may/beginning of june I spent a few weeks in the desert at MidBurn, the local israeli burning man. Some people that I worked with there knew that I am half polish. So at some point, a guy I know shows up and says: "There is this polish friend of mine that you have to meet". I went for it.
A few moments later I met Mateusz. Talked a little bit with him, he told me that he lives in Wrozlaw. I told him that my mom and her family used to live in Walbrzych. Turns out that he grew up in Walbrzych. I then proceeded to tell him in which part of the city. Turns out that he also used to live there. Then the street, he lived 2 blocks away...
I then asked him where he went to school. And then who his biology teacher is.
Turns out his biology teacher my mom's best friend that she had since high school. And there we meet in the desert in Israel.
I was at a party, sitting on a couch. A girl I know comes over, sits down and cuddles up to me. After about ten seconds like this, she says "I wish 'Robert' were here". I'm confused, because it's "Robert"'s party. I go "Huh?" and she replies "I wish 'Robert' were right here" and points at me.
"Robert" is my brother.
I wasn't upset, though I think I said something like "that hurts". I've actually been laughing about it ever since, it's too much like a scene out of a bad sitcom.
EDIT: If the quotes don't make it clear, "Robert" is not actually my brother's name.
Similar premise, entirely different outcome. Was once at a friends party and was fairly drunk and sitting down, see a very cute girl whom I had never seen before walk in and I go on my with conversation. Sometime later that night she literally fell onto my lap and stayed there for some time, ended up talking about doing all that fun stuff. About three weeks later we were dating. And that's the story of meeting my last ex-girlfriend.
Not at all, it's hilarious. I think she was just drunk, lonely, and didn't know how to approach the person she actually wanted to be with. Who hasn't been there?
I'm a bit late to the party but I finally have time to write out my story :P
6th grade, our school decided to participate in the Scripps national spelling bee. So the way this works is each English class has a contest, go around the room spelling and when you mess up sit down. Last person standing goes on to the school wide contest, then region, state, nation. But of course if the winner from an English class doesn't show up, the second place takes over, etc.
When I heard about this I was super pumped. 6th-grade me was really proud of being a fantastic speller (wtf man)! So on the day of, I demolished, dropping word after word, until there were three of us left. My word: futon.
Now for whatever reason, by 6th grade I had never heard the word futon. Had no idea what it meant, or how it was spelled. But I figured there was no reason it would be on the list if it was just spelled phonetically. So: "Futon. P-h-u-t-o-n. Futon." Ding. fuck
I came in third, and never went to the school wide competition. But for a while I was pissed off about the injustice, because later when I looked at the word list, I could spell every word but futon.
And it turns out, the day of the school wide contest, neither the first or second place from our class showed up. So technically, if I had thought to attend--just in case--I could've competed.
The next year I transferred to a private school that wasn't registered with Scripps. By the time they were, I was too old. That one and only spelling bee is one of my only regrets.
I'm glad you made it back, that's an amazing experience. Has it changed you? Do you feel like you appreciate life more or anything like that? Do you find that you are much more cautious now about the weather and natures ability to kick our asses?
Yes, it definitely changed me. Before I thought, well there is no way to make this sound good. I was a bit suicidal and I really thought that I didn't want to live and that I would in a crisis situation just lay down and die.
Unfortunately the experience has filled me with a bit of hubris, I think I'm less cautious actually but taht is also kind of a good thing. I've always been very anxious about everything and now sometimes I can just tell my self that "You'll survive this stupid presentation - you once walked your way out of a forest."
- "You'll survive this stupid presentation - you once walked your way out of a forest."