Man, I don't believe most things someone under 21 says to me (I look more favorably upon Hubski High, tho), so even I, a complete and utter unprofessional in most aspects of life, would've looked at this and said "you're really gonna have to sell this to me, buddy."
This story is absolutely true, validates my beliefs, and the focus of the story is the lying little asshole 15 year old. Who 15 year old me is jealous of.
If the measure of success for being a teenager in the early 2000s was how much trouble you could get in to, all my lies just got me grounded, and this kid got the SEC gunning for him. Bravo.