The first one I don't know about, but the second one: Let people handle their emotions how they like. If it makes him feel better to whine for five minutes, just agree and he'll probably move on quickly. Nothing pisses me off more than people who tell me to calm down when I'm venting. The AIM of the venting is for me to calm down.
If it wasn't a chronic thing I wouldn't talk about it. This guy is my best friend in the world, brother to me in all but blood, but he's a whiner. About absolutely trivial shit. This episode I just described lasted like 15-20 minutes of 'Uh huh' and 'Yeah he' s a dick, what are you gonna do?' before I started in on the 'Why are you still going on about it?' If solution
If it makes him feel better to whine for five minutes, just agree and he'll probably move on quickly.
Else
Apply solution Stop bitching about it, it just makes things worse.
Meh. I dip out. It's a noted characteristic of mine since college; I leave parties when I want to leave parties, I don't tell people, especially if I think people are going to protest or fake-protest my leaving. When I'm done, I'm done. It may be a party or a bar but the point of the matter is when I no longer want to be somewhere I leave, regardless. At this point in life I expect my close friends to know this about me and accept it. Sometimes the dramatic ones forget. Recently I had someone accuse my (now ex) boyfriend of being "rude" because we left a bar where he and I left a bar where we were supposed to meet said friend...after being there for four hours and waiting for my friend for two hours. It's funny how what really was my prediliction for leaving got shoved onto the boyfriend because the friend didn't want to connect it to a known tendency of mine. Essentially, people should be smart enough to know their friends' tendencies, but sometimes they don't or don't want to acknowledge it. It sounds, however, like maybe you were frustrated by your friend venting for an extended period of time. Maybe your friend's flaw is that he likes to vent. Maybe handling that flaw might mean changing the subject instead of pointing out how much he is venting?
That's exactly it. I understand going 'man that sucks' for a bit, but too long feels like too long. I've had to start putting my foot down about this kind of stuff because I used to just go along with it until I was just as sick and frustrated of X as whoever was doing the whining. (I'll make my own bad moods thank you very much)It sounds, however, like maybe you were frustrated by your friend venting for an extended period of time
Not everyone processes emotions in the same way. Unless you understand this, you will continue to be an asshole. Okay, maybe he goes on for too long, and that's a problem that he has. However, you telling him that he should stop bitching about it because "it makes things worse" does NOT help. If you're going to react to it, tell him that it makes you feel bad that he goes on about it for so long. That's a more appropriate response, and it MIGHT get through to him.