I've simply decided not too, it just seems like a burden to have to buy the clothes and all this other shit and then spend the night after I finished High School with a bunch of people I've never really known anyway. Instead I plan to spend this night celebrating my birthday and getting ready to move.
To those of you who haven't walked, do you regret it?
My high school promised each senior $50 if we walked and then participated in some sort of goodbye event that lasted 'til 6am the next morning. So we walked and all that. Lots of parents had put work into the event afterward so I felt obligated, although we did manage to get drunk between graduating and getting hauled off to the event. So for $50? Hell yeah. For nothing? No way, it's a waste of an evening and they're all precious when you're leaving your friends behind soon. Also we went all-in and bought an ounce for the next evening, got fucked up on the school's dime. So it wasn't that bad. -- EDIT with my actual take: all of the other answers in this thread amount to either a) do it for someone else, or b) do it because it's an important milestone. I reject both of those points of view as irrational. If your parents really care about you, they may want, say, a night out with you (fancy dinner, show, etc). They also presumably want what you want. And, this is only a milestone if you let it be. If you think that way, then by all means, walk. But since you clearly don't, ignore all the bad advice you're getting.
So your advice boils down to: You're one person. They (your parents and other interested parties) are several. You can make them happy with the most minimal effort. Fuck them. They don't deserve it, because you are the only one that matters in your own life. Kinda cynical, eh?
So your advice boils down to: You're one person. There are billions of other people in the world. There is always more you can do for other people, to make other people happy, so you should never do anything to make yourself happy. Always put everyone else first. This is just as accurate a summary as yours is and I think BOTH fail to reflect the actual reality of the situation (and the content of what we were summarizing). There are plenty of compromises that don't leave any people unhappy.
This isn't aimed at you, but I'm starting to get pretty worried about which comments get "shared" on hubski. We've hit a point with enough users that short comments get more shares than long ones automatically. And I frankly can't believe anyone who read your post and thought it was an accurate summation of my post had actually read my post. I don't know what there is to do about it, but it's one of the early signs of eternal September and I don't want it to happen to hubski.
If you want to negatively spin everything I said, then I guess that's somewhat accurate. But only somewhat. If your parents prioritize seeing you walk across a stage for fifteen seconds after sitting still for four hours (oh and it costs a bunch of money), then they're not the sort of people you want to be pleasing at the expense of your own happiness. And your advice seems to boil down to: "it's a milestone." Hmm.
Forget the specifics of what it is you're doing. It's irrelevant and immaterial to the broader point that if you can do something minimal to make people you care about happy, then why not do it? Anything else is vanity and egomania. Not at all sure how you're reading that I said "it's a milestone." I never gave a fuck about school in the slightest sense, and at no time do I mention anything of the sort. You're projecting, and filling in gaps that aren't there.
Oh, not you specifically. Some other commenters said exactly that and I figured you might be making their argument. Because alternatives. You can make them happy at little cost to yourself. Well and good. OR you can skip the fucking thing, go out and have a long goodbye dinner with your parents/family where you can actually INTERACT with them and TALK to them and SEE them -- maybe that'll make them happy? Maybe -- gasp -- it'll make everyone happy, yourself included? Maybe it'll even end up being cheaper, although that's optional. I mean, damn. Lots of things make parents happy. Pick one that makes you happy too. If for some asinine reason they beg you to walk, then fuck it, walk. But at least sit 'em down and explain the more interesting alternatives.Forget the specifics of what it is you're doing. It's irrelevant and immaterial to the broader point that if you can do something minimal to make people you care about happy, then why not do it? Anything else is vanity and egomania.
It's an excuse to celebrate, dude. Also, parents caring about you doesn't mean they agree absolutely 100% with you not going to your own graduation.If your parents really care about you, they may want, say, a night out with you (fancy dinner, show, etc). They also presumably want what you want. And, this is only a milestone if you let it be.
I agree with thenewgreen. It really is about more than just you. I was (even more of) a cynical asshole when I was in High School. My friends and I existed on the fringes of the IB program, we didn't participate in the weird, cult-like "we're a family" bullshit, the friday-night-lights football, or any of the other "important" moments that define High School. But that didn't make the program any less of a hell. The exams, the applications, etc. etc. And though I didn't say it to her, or even know it, then, my mom was the reason I was able to get through any of that. I would mention to my mom that I didn't really want to go through the pomp and circumstance that goes with graduation. My mom would sigh a bit, and say that I could do it if I wanted to, but I could tell it hurt her. So I decided, you know what, fuck it, I'll just make this memorable. So I went further than just going to graduation and decided to join in in carrying my country's flag for the beginning of the ceremony. My mom was ecstatic to hear that, and I got to meet one of my closest friends I have today going to flag practice the week before graduation. Seeing my mom tearing up and waving to me as I carried my flag into the auditorium made it all worth it. I know I'm the last person who should tell anyone that they should just try something when I'm such an anxious, is this worth it sort of person myself, but I really do think you might wanna reconsider if it's something your parents look like they care about. And even if they say they don't, their eyes not be saying the same thing.
I almost didn't graduate from HS because my grades were so poor. I barely made it. One teacher was instrumental in helping me get by, his name was Mr. Messmore. I recall walking up to get my diploma and hearing my parents cheer but what really stood out is that Mr. Messmore gave me a thumbs up as I approached the podium. Nobody was celebrating my scholarly efforts, not even him but he knew that I put in a valiant last ditch effort to get up there. I would have regretted not having that moment. Plus, things like graduation aren't just for you, parents and grandparents eat that shit up. If your family wants you to do it, I'd suggest doing it for them. It's crazy how much time, effort and resources parents put in to us. -Something I'm understanding more and more with time. The least you can do is give them the satisfaction of seeing their son/daughter get that diploma. -But if they don't care and you don't care and you don't think you'll ever regret it then don't do it.
Yeah, what tng said. If it had been wholly about me I wouldn't have walked at my undergrad ceremony. Meant literally nothing to me. But it was about my family, too; my aunt came in from Georgia to see me walk, shit like that.things like graduation aren't just for you
Good on you for looking to the future and not being stuck in the celebratory moment. However, if your parents want you to walk, you should. It's not really for you, never was. You know the hours of work and bullshit makework you've had to deal with, and it's all in the past for you. You're ready to move on to the next big thing for you. But like I said, it's not for you. It's for them, the people who support you. Your mom, dad, grandma grandpa, whomever. think of it as a small thank you for their support.
I walked but I didn't do "grad night". Grad Night was like $350 and basically a huge supervised party put on by the school with heavy moderation to ensure no alcohol consumption. It began a few years before my year as a way to cut back on the massive alcohol parties there used to be. The parents of the class after our class always plans it on to ensure no one knows the location, events, etc. and no one can hide alcohol there beforehand. Instead I worked. I had landed a gig as a PA on a tv show with my boyfriend. I would come in after school, wait for the writers to be done with the scripts, update the spreadsheets and stuff, do all the call sheets etc, and then drive the dailies up to the producers on my way home. That night was particularly brutal as the writers got too high and were way late on delivering. Usually I was home by 11. I didn't get home until 2am. My co-workers were laughing at the epic graduation night I was having. At least we had cake and stuff and it was fun. I don't regret it. The party was apparently lame and I much preferred the time spent with my cooworkers and boyfriend at work. Plus my parents let me sleep over at his house for the first time. I had slept there before but never with their permission. Always had to sneak out and then sneak back in around 4:30am. It's the little things that make nights good.
I vividly remember how much of a pain in the ass this was. I had a screen window that unhooked. I always figured a raccoon or something would take advantage of the tiny gap I had to leave... My parents probably knew anyway.Always had to sneak out and then sneak back in around 4:30am. It's the little things that make nights good.
I had one window where the screen was missing. After the first time my parents caught me, they moved one of those huge garden spiders in front of it. The way those spiders work is they basically set up shop in the same place every night. If you destroy it's web and put the leftover web in a new spot, they'll rebuild in that spot. The next time I snuck out, I slowly forced the creaky window open enough for me to squeeze out head first. Climb on my antique desk, start making my way out. And BAM! FULL FRONTAL SPIDER WEB + SPIDER ON MY FACE. I do not like spiders. I do not like bugs. I screamed as loud as I could without making a single sound as I tumbled headfirst into a bush. My friends, who were waiting in the car up the street, got scared and left (this was before we all had cell phones). I had to sit outside, covered in spider web, convinced the spider was still on me, for a good 20 minutes until they came back around and found me. My parents also planted a fat rose bush outside all my windows the next week. Not fun. But I'm totally going to do this to my kids. You want to be a rebel, motherfucker? I'm going to make you WORK for it!
Charging you for Senior Appreciation Night is bullshit. Where I was it was something put together by Key Club. They raffled off cars'n'shit. Granted, they were cars donated to the Auto Shop program and then rebuilt by HS Seniors but still. Holding it on the same night as graduation is also bullshit. Ours was the end of Finals. And although I hadn't been to class in a semester I went to SAN, won some movie tickets, ate free ice cream and burgers, got my palm read, and made it to 3rd base with a girl I didn't even know was into me. If they'd been charging there's no.fucking.way I would have bothered.
For what it's worth… I think it's worth the walk. It's ceremonial. It signifies something. The night is about you and what you've accomplished. It has nothing to do with the other chuckleheads. I'm old fashioned though. And Happy upcoming Birthday. edit - by "other chuckleheads" I am referring to the other students you don't know. I DO agree with the other comments in here about it meaning something to your family.
I didn't. I didn't even tell them I wasn't. I'm told they read my name and everybody laughed, because I was infamous. I regret it not a whit - but then, I was infamous. I graduated a semester early just because I couldn't put up with the bullshit anymore. I declared myself the antichrist and put up signs just for kicks. When the vice principal sent a toadie down to summon me to his office I told the toadie that if the VP wanted to see me, he'd have to come see me. And he did, which should tell you something. Me not going to graduation was absolutely, positively in line with everyone's expectations. My sister walked. She was all-state for band. She was every teacher's pet. Had she not walked there would have been a riot. She, too, was absolutely, positively in line with everyone's expectations. Beyond that, it's important to note that my sister got swag, I didn't. Cash prizes to the tune of thousands of dollars. Me? I got this book. So does the swag matter? If so, go. Are people expecting it? If so, go. You should be able to rent the stuff. At least, that's how we did it back in the pre-Clinton era. Will it likely be a big boring circlejerk? Yeah, probably. But big, boring circlejerks are stupid things to make a stand over. I have studiously missed my ten year and my twenty year reunion. I saw a photo from the ten year - every other person was "who the fuck is that" and nine out of ten of them were "damn, they got fat." For the twenty year it was more about recognizing a missed opportunity to avoid in real life the people I avoid on Facebook. The anecdote about everybody laughing is way cooler... but the swag would have spared me some serious poverty. Eh. Who am I kidding. I woulda blown it on synths. ;-)
I didn't either. In Brazil it's not so important. It is important, but it's something we can skip. I thought it would be a waste of my money and time to celebrate with some people that I didn't care about, 'cause I've made my high school at night with older people and I just didn't want to party with them. I don't regret. But it would be nice to have friends from this time, but I decided to take the professional road early in life.
I did it for my mom. It was really important to her, but I actually objected to the event in every way. If it wasn't for her, I and others we knew would make it a point to not walk. We felt, and still feel, that the sense of accomplishment that comes from graduating high school and getting your diploma is gone, and the event of graduation was almost a mockery of us since our entire generation got the shaft for the future. Generations past could genuinely do something with a high school diploma, now an undergrad degree is required for most anything, with a master's feeling even more vital, while the cost of education went through the roof and the assistance fell flat in keeping up. So there we sat, for four hours, in 100 degree weather, being told how much we achieved and our bright future felt saccharine. It felt like a lie.
Do it. It's a milestone. Not a terribly huge one, as it's compulsory, but it's a milestone. Now if you don't walk at your university graduation, I will personally see to it that I come up with several people, tie you in a straightjacket, force you into your cap and gown, and lash you to a pole at your university's stadium during commencement except for the part where we drag you kicking and screaming on the stage to receive your degree.