Depending on how bored I get at work tomorrow I might make some fun graphs and do some other stuff with the information, we'll see.
This post was inspired by something that thenewgreen said to me earlier, namely this:
- This is my 184th reply to you. -I'm glad you found us pal and I appreciate you mentioning it to friends. I have found that it's really not for everyone. That said, it's not a generational thing, as is evidenced by any number of younger and older active hubski users. It's more of a preferential thing. I can't help but think that too many people dismiss the idea of joining a discussion community out of hand though and would really enjoy it if they gave it a shot.
I'm 22. I'll edit this with the "how do I feel about it" part later, about to run to a meeting.
I'm 50. Get off my lawn!
I always say, getting old sucks, but the alternative is worse.
Its my birthday today, turned 20. I feel good about my age but life is getting shorter and shorter. I never really conceptualized death until recently. I can kind of see the end of the road. I'm sure most of you have thought about this already. Anyways still glad I'm getting into adulthood finally
Says the kid five years younger than me, and I don't feel this in the least.but life is getting shorter and shorter
First of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY, but you'll forgive me if I take issue with "life is getting shorter and shorter" and "I can see the end of the road." -You're still extremely young. This is a good thing, enjoy it! Death is there waiting for all of us, this is good to know but bad to fret over. No use worrying about that which we cannot change. Carpe Diem! Enjoy the day today, I hope it's a good year for you.
Life has always been a mystery for me growing up. At my age now, I kind of know what to expect will happen down the road.
Yeah, happy birthday hermitherder. I'm 40. If this will put things in perspective, Iife is getting shorter, but I'm actually doing fine with 40. I don't worry about so many small things that time and perspective of some extra years allow me to now recognize as "small potatoes". I think I spend less of my time with trivial concerns. Outside of being dead eventually, and losing a bit of physical stamina, aging is okay. There is an upside.
I don't think much about how old I am. I have mentioned this before, but when I was a teenager I asked my father, "dad, at what age did you finally feel like an adult?" He responded, "when I find out, I'll let you know." I never feel old, except that it is taking me slightly longer to recover from bumps and bruises than it used to. It's hard to discern whether this is a product of age or just being out of shape. -I'm getting back in shape though. Truly, I am. I realized though that "maturity" isn't something that just "snap" happens. It's a process. There are events that can take you more quickly down the path though. In the last three months I have moved my family twice, I delivered my son, I euthanized my dog and had some major new responsibilities at work come down all at once. I feel like I've aged a lot this year. More grey hairs, belly is flabbier. My birthday is coming up and I'll be 37. I don't ever think about age but looking at that number 37 makes it hit home. That's pretty damned close to 40. Still, I'm working on cool projects, I've got a great family, my friends kick ass and I still make music and podcasts and stuff.... I'm totally cool with where I am in life.
22. As for how I feel, not terribly well. I'm just in a rough period in my life, transitioning away from undergrad, which is an hour away from home and features a lot of people I know from high school, to graduate school which will be 6 hours from home and where I know nobody. It's a lot of stress, and add it on top of health problems and it equals an unhappy me. I am excited about moving away, it's long overdue. And I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for the health problems. So, not very good but should get better!
Hey, congrats on graduate school! Where are you heading off to, if you don't mind my asking?
Thank you! I'll be in Albany, at Rockefeller College. I'm going for my Masters in Public Administration, hopefully with a concentration in either healthcare mgmt or information mgmt.
I'm 19 years old, and I'll be 20 in about a week. I don't really know how I should feel about this, I always felt like 20 was such a high number... But it really isn't. I started going to college some weeks ago after working for about 2 years. When I'm really lucky, I might still have 4/5 of my life left to live - that's a lot. In other words: I feel like I just completed the tutorial.
I'm 22. Too all the people in this tread that are similar age, I empathize 100%. About a year ago I quit my job of 2 years because I hated it, I had no plans, and probably 3 months of savings. I had a ton of anxiety when I made the decision to quit but one thought kept creeping back into my mind. When I'm on my death bed looking back, will I be proud of this moment? Will I be happy that I worked my 9-5 job that I hated? So I said Fuck it, and left. 5 months later and almost out of money a friend of mine who owns a Tech company posts on Facebook that he is looking for a Technician that knows Linux servers. Now first of all, I hadn't talked to this friend in probably over a year, and when I did see him it was 3 times a year. Second, yeah I run Linux (xUbuntu) on my Desktop but I barely knew the command line, and never worked with a server. But I got the job because he knew that teaching me would be easy and it was my attitude that would make me a great employee. So to Outset and all the others in that are in a rough patch in their life. Ask yourself "How will I feel about this moment when I'm looking back from my death bed?" If you get an unfavourable answer, leave the reasons why you can't do something behind and change something NOW! No matter the outcome you won't look back and think "Too bad I tried to change the crap situation I was in."
Dude I have a friend that did the same thing! More power to yaAbout a year ago I quit my job of 2 years because I hated it, I had no plans, and probably 3 months of savings. I had a ton of anxiety when I made the decision to quit but one thought kept creeping back into my mind. When I'm on my death bed looking back, will I be proud of this moment? Will I be happy that I worked my 9-5 job that I hated? So I said Fuck it, and left.
Not quite old enough to go to the concerts I'd like to in the next month, so overall not really a fan of being 16. Shakey graves, kishi bashi, lindsey stirling, of montreal, tune-yards, cloud nothings, tycho, and andrew jackson jihad. At this point I'm missing all of them.
I love all of those bands. Mind if I ask where you live where they're all playing? Because that's a ton of great shows for one month.
I'm in the same boat! (and same city, it seems-- small world!)
Im 16 and I feel useless, Im not hopeless. I just feel that i haven't used any of my potential yet and that I don't know what i should do after today.
Think of your young age as a whole lot of open doors.
1. Welcome to Hubski! I hope you enjoy it here. 2. You have plenty of time to explore a lot of different interests and decide on what you like and don't like. Hell, I don't know what I should tomorrow either.
sounds_sound has a fantastic rule that he lives by that I would suggest to any young person. When he's invited to do something, he always says "yes" unless he truly cannot do it.
You can hear him talk about it here:
I'll give you the advice I wish I was given. Try everything. I mean EVERYTHING. You are at the age for the next 10-15 years where your brain can absorb info in amazing quantities, you can develop muscle memory easily and at least for the next few years your responsibilities are minimal. It may not feel that way, but trust me, unless you are on your own, take advantage now to try anything that looks even slightly interesting. You will never regret trying.
I'm a 23-year-old doctoral student studying clinical psychology. My wife and I up and moved across the country for my PhD program, and it has been quite a struggle, both emotionally and cognitively. Unfortunately academia doesn't tend to attract people of character (at least in my field). We are making it work though, and we have a lot to look forward to. Reading many of y'alls posts here, I see many people who appear to be struggling with depression. Do your homework on evidenced based treatment, and please seek help. In this day and age there is know reason to suffer with depression, especially at such a young age. Find supportive people to be around, get treatment, and you can turn your life around.
Must be just your field. My field's pretty nice. Also, you perceive clinical psychology as lacking people of character? If clinical psychology really does lack character and integrity as a field, that's mighty sad. (For what it's worth, the one clinical psychologist I have been acquainted with had quite good character.) But cgdodd, thank you for voicing something that I might have voiced a little more harshly - this entire thread is full of really, really sad-sounding people. It's as if I'm part of the little minority in this thread who isn't sad in the least. Not that I don't have one or two core problems I'm trying to find solutions to, but it doesn't cause me depression, even if they are very complex problems.Unfortunately academia doesn't tend to attract people of character (at least in my field).
I'm 34. I feel good about it. I was quite happy getting the chance to even turn 30. Oprah says that everyone in heaven is 30. Way better than everyone in heaven being 24. No offense to 24 year olds. Being 34 is cool because everyone takes me seriously. Like my ideas matter or something. Being 34 is also tough. Because everyone takes me seriously.
I'm 22. I feel entirely worthless at this age. Unlike my peers, I've never had an actual girlfriend and my relationships with women are pretty much zilch at the moment. Generally I'd get close to one girl just to be friendzoned then watch as I slowly drift apart from them as they jump from one bad relationship to the next. I've actually been hurt by several women in various ways whether through lying, being led on or just being cut off because I'm not cheerful, attractive or sociable enough, or because I've been unable to take insults from them. I have friends but only a few and I'm not particularly close with any of them. In fact, sometimes I feel invisible to them. I graduated from university last year with a 2:1 (or roughly a 3.2 GPA out of 4) in History. I'm still unemployed because I chose an Arts degree that has been considered the fourth worst degree for employability just narrowly behind Geography, Sport science and Criminology, been unable to find work and I'm generally hating the way things are at the moment. The worst part is... I can't turn back now and I feel like all these years of studying history have been for naught because it's hard to even find minimum wage roles that aren't soul destroying. Going back into education into a more meaningful subject that has actual jobs going and would interest me (like say... Computer Science) isn't an option for me because I lack the money to fund a Masters, let alone a second degree (which I cannot get student loan funding for since the Conservative government closed that door about 2 years ago.) I had aspirations at one point. When I was around 17, I wanted to be a solicitor, study legal cases and represent clients in court but then I quickly learned that this is a route you should only pursue if you're from a rich family that can fund your expensive legal practice course, have the right connections to get a training contract and have the drive to get good marks and get into a good university. Around that time, I also wanted to be a novelist but everything I wrote felt really cringeworthy to read after the first few chapters to the point where they were no longer salvageable and so I'd scrap projects left, right and centre. Your early twenties is around the time you begin to think about the implications of death and what happens at the end of the road, and to tell you the truth, science and my lack of faith in a religion have made me a nihilist who believes I just fade out of existence never to come back upon death. That thought along is highly depressing. I want there to be something and every time I see any sort of tangible evidence that there's more to life and your consciousness than your several decades of physical existence, it's always shut down by any scientist.
I'm 29. I feel like I spent more of my 20's fucking around than I would have liked, but I like what I've been able to learn and that I seem to be figuring things out. I'm also glad I didn't get married to the girls I could have married and glad that I haven't become a parent yet.
There could be a lot worse issues to have...like having gotten married! I hope to increase the amount of time I spend fucking around in the future.I feel like I spent more of my 20's fucking around than I would have liked...
26. I make jokes to my (younger) girlfriend about how old I'm getting, but it's honestly been nice to grow into myself and develop my perspectives on life. Ten years ago, I would've considered the me of today pretty badass... I'm aiming to be able to say the same in another ten years. Just gotta get that damn PhD while I can still somewhat function on only a few winks of sleep.
I'm 27. I am an undergrad and on average about 7 or 8 years older than everyone I study with. My friends like to remind me that they will be 22 or 23 when we graduate and I'll be pushing 30. I do feel old when I realise how much of a jumpstart on life they have over me but I'm also aware that I devalue my life experiences by thinking like that. I have worked my ass off to get where I am and hey, I'm turning 30 in three years anyway. Might as well have two bachelors when I get there :)
The thing about direction is you have to kind of grab and create it. It's not going to just come to you. I'm rereading this thread a bit and I'm wondering how much of this felt directionlessness that a lot of people in their young adult years have is more of a case of expecting some kind of insight to come to you and being passive, agencyless, and not an active participant in making your future. It certainly seems like a lot of young people I've met expect an epiphany of some kind when that doesn't occur. You're not going to find a direction unless you actually go looking for it.
I'm 23. I'll be 24 in August. I feel like a motherfucking baby right now. Somehow all my friends that I enjoy hanging out with are 30-45 years old. I have two of my best friends that are in my age range, but still 2 and 4 years older than me. I have no idea how this happened. Maybe it's because everyone my age is either still in school, working at Fatburger, or attempting to find their first real job while partying their ass off? I swear everyone from my high school was a Coachella for both weekends. How do you do that? And, more importantly, why??
I'm not sure. I have more people in my phone that are my age, but the ones I consistently call, text, and hang out with are the older ones. No idea exactly why. I think it's that I'm closer to my older friends in terms of where I am in my life. I'm ambitious and want to learn and grow and accomplish everything I possibly can. A lot of people my age, especially those I knew from high school, are still in the party phase of their life. A brief look at my feed from people who went to my high school reveals that 3 were day drinking Thursday, and one when to a hookah lounge Friday and puked in the bushes.
High school is high school. There's no filter and it's only maybe 2000 people at most. Were you the oldest person you hung around in high school? 20 and 21 year olds can be pretty immature. Also, maybe you need to take some of the names out of your phone and maybe it's a bad idea to add new ones unless they really deserve a space in your contacts.
I'm 29, and more-or-less who I pretended to be at 19. I haven't done everything I wanted to do by now; I'm on my second attempt at graduate school, having dropped out the first time because work didn't leave time for study and family obligations precluded dropping work. Still, I got most of what I wanted, and didn't have to compromise much to do it. I can't complain.
You might find this thread to be of use to you. We recently had a (very good) discussion about these kind of things.
To be honest, it always boggles me when I hear people my age complaining about this. I've always had a direction, even if I ended up changing it. Back when I was in my early-to-late teens, I wanted to be a neurosurgeon. I decided I liked research, so I wanted to do an MD/PhD. I finally decided that clinical stuff wasn't for me, so I decided on getting a PhD and being a neuroscientist. I have refined my research interests into developmental neurobiology in the past two years. Be proactive about finding out what you want to do and knowing yourself. Are you analytical? Artsy? A history buff? Do you like squishy things? Do you like computers? It's okay to like many of these things, too, but you can't major in all of them. The most scientifically supported trait theory of personality at the moment is the Big 5 (although trait theory per se generalizes something that can often vary), and there's an extra dimension of Honesty/Humility, now. Consider googling the Big 5 personality test on the internet and taking one.
A lot of people just don't have that, especially in their younger years. You should think yourself fortunate that you have such a clearly defined direction in which you want to travel. Even those with somewhat clear directions can feel lost. I myself just want to sit around making music all day. However, experimental Drum & Bass isn't going to bring the money in and I'm stubborn when it comes to this. I don't want a part time job, I don't want to have to do things because "that's just how the world is", I want to make my music. You can call me silly, unwise, or immature in that regard and perhaps you'd be correct, but you can see how people have things they'd love to do only to have society make it seem impossible. I also wouldn't mind doing music journalism, SFX/Foley/Music for moving image, or being writer. But again, all very closed off areas which demand you to work for free for a good while. Fortunately for me, my parent's, especially my farther, work incredibly hard and support my endeavours amazing. Even after paying all my rent and living expenses through university and then paying my rent for 6 further months afterwards, they're still going to lend me the money to do a masters in Sonic Arts. With this I hope to move in to the realm of Lecturing. Not because that's a direction I dream of being in, but because that's one I can see myself enjoying whilst support my true passions. I am of course very grateful for their support. But some aren't so lucky. If you take a minute to consider all the circumstances beyond your own experience, you'll soon see it's very easy to feel lost. Even if to you it seems silly with your sights as clear as day. Those personality tests also do little. They tell you all the stuff about yourself you already knew and nothing beyond that. But I agree knowing yourself well is certainly a benefit, but that's only half of it. Edit: To answers the post's question, I'm 22. For some reason I haven't quite figured out yet I still wish to call myself 21.
I confess I have absolutely no idea what you mean, but then again the concept is completely alien to me at least in the context of the direction of one's own life. As I said, this is something I've never experienced. Nor, frankly, wish to. Nobody goes into science to make money, admittedly, especially those of us who want to join the tenure-track rat race (the point is, though, that we often end up making money anyway). I know it's a Sisyphean task. I still can't not try. It's like it's embedded within my being. I guess in your case, music is embedded within your being. Problem being, I suppose, that a biology degree has far more bill-paying avenues than a music degree, and my dreams and ambitions are in, well, biology; even if I don't get a tenure-track job, there are numerous other ways to get into being a PI of some kind, and then there's industry and government and all sorts of folks that are hiring, hiring, hiring. I have no idea if you're still in university, but maybe - this is cliche - pop down to the career center and poke through its offerings. You might find opportunities yet.If you take a minute to consider all the circumstances beyond your own experience, you'll soon see it's very easy to feel lost.
I agree with everything that rezzeJ just said. I don't think there's anything wrong with not having a clear direction. I knew I wanted to do Engineering into college, and now that I'm graduating next year I'm starting to re-evaluate those thoughts. People's interests and what motivates them are constantly changing, and you're fortunate in that you seem determined in what you're doing and are confident that it's right for you. As for me, I'm fine with changing and re-thinking what direction I'm heading in. Same deal as rez, I'd be perfectly happy sitting around making music, doing music journalism, or focusing full-time on my record label. Unfortunately none of those things will pay the bills though. I have, however, learned to not care about what people do, what they make, and what their direction (or lack thereof) is. There is one caveat - that they are happy and not acting in a manner destructive to themselves and/or others.
Maybe you'll feel better knowing that 10 years ago you were 10 years old and a lot has happened since then. Although maybe you'll feel worse knowing that there is a very real chance that you won't make it to 30 just by virtue of being a mortal.
I originally intended to help...
No pity. No pity for you. "Midlife" crisis about what though?
Read this article today, and it really rang true and reminded me of this discussion :
Mind if I ask what that is?...and for the first time in my life I know what I want to do when I grow up.
Not at all! It is a Long story as most people's lives are. But to get to the point, I moved from California to Kentucky and for the first time saw up close and personally what a poor education system looks like. I do Astronomy outreach in my spare time now to help spark curiosity about the wonders of life and the universe amongst people who have had that joy of learning beaten out of them (sometimes literally with rod and belt) . Saturn viewing season is coming up and there is no greater joy than to watch someone's face have that "OH SHIT" look when they see Saturn and its moons through the eyepiece of a telescope for the first time. People looking at Jupiter, and realizing that they were seeing with their eyes what they had only see in pictures, then asking questions is fun as well. It's going to kinda suck this fall as there won't be any planets out, and I'm going to buy some filters so that I can show some other stuff through the light pollution here when I can't show Mars and Saturn later in the year. Work pays the bills, and fortunately I am in a place where I love the work and love the people I work with, but outreach is what I see myself doing for a while onwards.Mind if I ask what that is?
I am precisely 24 and one half - my half-birthday falls between 4/30 and 5/1, which was yesterday. Sometimes I quarter-life-crise about it. Like "why aren't I more on the path that I should be on?" and as mentioned in the thread ButterflyEffect linked, "should I buy a house?" "Am I doing enough?" is the question I tend to grapple with in these moments, not so much "Am I doing the right thing?" teamramonycajal. I saw that you are baffled about people with a lack of direction. For me it is not that I have a lack of direction; it is, how do I obtain what I want without sacrificing what I need to survive? What do I truly need? Am I working enough towards long-term life goals like "permanent housing" without sacrificing too much in the short-term? And for me there is also the element of: I am doing so much work, but will I succeed - will it pay off? Those are the kind of quarter-life questions I have, not "what do I want to do with my life?" I know what I want to do. I just have to weigh it against the rest of my life and see if it's actually achievable.
Well, what do you want that you think conflicts with what you need to survive? Does it really conflict? Are the odds of success - as you define it - slim enough that they terrify you? EDIT: Your website indicates that you're either the person going for the MFA in creative writing or the BA in English. That kind of explains it, I guess, insofar as what you want maybe not paying the bills so well. And I don't mean this as some kind of snarky insult, even though it might sound that way given the tendency of people to think English majors and MFAs are going to end up making lattes for everyone else. It really does seem like liberal arts folks struggle more than us STEM folks these days. To which I can only say, given the fact that I'm in a whole 'nother subject, my best advice is to sit down with your professors and possibly also the career center and have a chat about what you want, where you're going, and how you can survive doing it. Because they're the ones most likely to know.
I have a BA in English; seriously considering an MFA except - can't justify it. Because you're completely correct, what I want isn't going to pay the bills. I write poetry. The only way you're ever going to make any money in poetry is well after you done and got "famous." Airquotes because poetry famous isn't even author famous most of the time. I graduated a few years ago actually - I have a good job in a completely different industry, banking. It's not fulfilling but it pays all of the bills. My compromise is that I write and blog and do everything poetry I can in my downtime. The only way to "survive" doing poetry is to teach; the only way to teach is to go to grad school; after that I'd end up either teaching high school or slaving away to make barely above the poverty line as an adjunct professor at one (or maybe two or three) probably third-tier or community colleges while writing and publishing on the sideline. No thanks - for now. I'm toying with the idea of trying to find other jobs in writing but there aren't very many unified resources for stuff like that. Til then I just devote myself when and while I can. Yes, the odds of success are really that slim. Just the odds of becoming an actually tenured college professor these days are really slim. In poetry? Phew, you can fuggedaboudit.
I'm 25. I have no feelings about it either way.
I'm 26. I have some regrets - mostly about not starting the things I do now at an earlier time, not starting to transition earlier, etc. But for the most part, I don't feel "old", I just "am".