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comment by OftenBen
OftenBen  ·  3691 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: How can I be a better single guy?

I'm not worried about time per se. I've just accepted that dating for dudes comes down to a numbers game, making a lot of attempts, and 'failing' most of those times.

Regarding finding romance when not in pursuit of it, I worry that my interests, if pursued to their extremes (Which I'm prone to do) will essentially make me anti-social, even if I'm not that way.

To use the outdoorsy stuff as an example, I want to spend as much of this summer as possible on the water, and remote Michigan waterways aren't exactly teeming with SEXY SINGLES LOOKING TO HOOK UP IN YOUR AREA. My desire for a relationship in that regard is a desire to have someone to share that experience with. My bros (male friends and literal brothers) are great, but there's a limit to the depth of those relationships.





zaylea  ·  3683 days ago  ·  link  ·  

To be fair, dating for everyone is a numbers game. Just because an attractive woman has men swarming around her it doesn't mean she actually wants to be with 98% of those guys.

There's a really great ted talk relating to that:

OftenBen  ·  3683 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Different numbers though.

Men, number of rejections vs number of 'successes'

Women, number of times approached vs number deemed acceptable.

zaylea  ·  3682 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's still the issue of wading through a crowd of people trying to find someone you're compatible with. Just because women have a lot of men approaching them, it doesn't mean a guy they're compatible with will ever actually approach them. Particularly if the woman isn't projecting herself in a way that would attract the men she wants, or if she's not even bothering to approach men herself.