Frank worried that speaking up would make her even less safe. When she finally told the owners of the bar about the incidents, they said they would say something to the customers. But that could escalate the behavior. “I always found myself in these situations where I’d be like, ‘This guy says things and it’s disgusting and I don’t like it, but is it going to make my life worse if I talk to somebody about it and they talk to him about it? Is that going to make my job harder, is that going to make me less safe, am I going to endure abuse of a different kind?’ You’re constantly weighing out these things. Not even what battle is worth fighting, but what battle is safe to fight.”

    Frank felt particularly stuck because of the money she was able to make there—$400 to $500 a night, sometimes as much as $700, thanks to her tips. “I don’t want these men controlling my life, but at the same time they kind of were,” she said. At this bar, she added, “If you tell [a harassing customer] off, you don’t have any customers.”


veen:

    These kinds of incidents are “so normalized; we experience them so much, and so much more when you work in this kind of industry,” Frank continued. “None of this is about sex, necessarily—it’s all about power. They’re not necessarily getting off on it; they’re showing us how small and insignificant we are and how our bodies aren’t ours. Even our ear canals aren’t ours.”

My housemate and I are going through all episodes of The Office (US) chronologically. Just this week we watched the season 2 episode on sexual harassment. The plot is that Michael Scott, who was an absolute jerk the first two seasons, is not allowed to make sexist comments anymore because of new policy, which he hates because it means he can’t be a jerk all the time anymore.

That was 2005 - it was about power back then, it’s about power now. I know a lot has changed since then, with a lot of inappropriate behavior being addressed in many fields, but pieces like this also make me feel like there is a lot to still be done. A livable wage to me represents the power dynamic change that’s needed, although that doesn’t solve the problem of shitty coworkers.

</thinkingoutloud>


posted 2195 days ago