I need to read about something that isn't politics, or the death of the internet, or what latest beloved cultural icon is literally satan.

This is one of my favorite 'get to know you' questions, and I don't think I've ever posed it to hubski.

If you had to eat a TON of something, like, as much as you possibly could, what would you be able to stuff yourself with?

This question has it's origins in me, pondering how big a bowl of Fruity Pebbles or Cocoa pebbles I could eat. I think I could probably empty a large mixing bowl (~1 gallon liquid capacity) at least once, probably more than that. When I think of how big a single container of fruity pebbles would have to be before I would cry uncle, I get a lil bit ashamed. I'm certain that fluid volume would do me in long before I was sick of the tasty bits.

Alternatively, tell me about a time you ate WAY too much as some kind of dare or challenge.



What a great question.

I love food. I don't know if/how much we've had this conversation, but I f'in loooooove food. Please. Let me talk about food. On a Friday night with a monster-vodka and a half-smoked pre-roll, please, pray tell, Sir Ben, allow me to really get a kick out of this discussion.

Yo, man, it is potato chips. That was one of the very first things I thought of when I considered your question, and the longer I thought about it the more I was like "Fuck yea fuckin potato chips for sure man, yeaaaaa!"

I. Love. Potato Chips.

I love cheddar & sour cream ripples (top tier). I love kettle-cooked jalapeno (top tier). I love barbecue and all stupid marketing ploys at different types of barbecue that come with it (silver medal). i love ripples with onion dip. (silver+ medal, dang, man) i love sour cream and onion (silver. too many? ok fine then bronze. but tied with salt and vinegar. i mean, damn, son!)

It's snowing here in DE and earlier my sister and I went to stock up on provisions. The last time I did that at the same Happy Harry's we went to in our little town was in 2015, before an epic snowstorm, which I spent locked in with my then-boyfriend and read all of The Gunslinger and lived off of 2 bags of 20 oz chips and a lot of cigarettes and alcohol for forty-odd hours. It wasn't great, but it was a good time, and in retrospect, a beautiful time of itself. So I was thinking about chips already when you asked this.

But damn! Ben, if it ain't right. I love lots of food; I love fried chicken and I love sushi and I love zuppa toscana (budget bytes recipe, google it, it's amazing), and i love cobb salads and i love hot chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs dipped in cold applesauce because it reminds me of childhood. and if i ever found a salad bar with these four ingredients, i'd make myself a plate and call it a salad: small diced ham, cold peas, shredded carrots, cheddar - bonus if you have french dressing - because when I was a kid Wendy's still had a salad bar and that's what my brother and I would get every time and that's the 'salad' I would eat every damn time. It would have to be at a Wendy's. And they don't ever have all 4 of those even at my work salad bar at the same time, and they stock that on the daily.

Yo, such is life, folks. Food is not only delicious but super evocative for me, one of my favorite topics of conversation. But god damn.

Mother fucking potato chips. Hands down, no denying, and I would be happy like, the whole entire time I was chowing down. I don't even want to know how much I could eat. Woooooof, thanks for asking :)

posted by OftenBen: 433 days ago