Dude, seriously?

So we know tax reform only happens once in a generation. It’s been 30 years. It may well be another 30 years before we have this opportunity. House Republicans made a conscious decision to go bold, to create a tax code built for growth, literally designed to grow jobs, wages in the US economy, and, while doing that, to leapfrog America into the lead pack as among the best countries in the world for that new job and that next investment.

Let's get the bullet points out of the way first, shall we?

We go all in for jobs and growth with the lowest rate breaks for business in modern history.

Fuckin' A. Voodoo Economics. Reform! Reform! Reform! Make Morning in America again!

Our second big reform: We’re proposing for families and individuals a code so fair and simple, nine out of 10 Americans will be able to file using a postcard system.

Fuck yeah! Flat tax! Three brackets! Those brackets by the way are -0-$50k, $50k-$115k, and $115k up. If you make under $75k, your taxes are the same. If you make more than $75k but less than $210k, you see a 3% cut. If you make over $210k a year, you see a 6% cut. MAGA MAGA MAGA!

And finally, because we’re proposing a simpler, bolder, fairer tax code, we propose a simpler and fairer tax collector. So we’re proposing to bust up the IRS and redesign it into a smaller focused agency with a singular mission: taxpayer service for businesses, families, and easy small-claims court approach, so families can resolve their differences more affordably, yeah.

In case you hadn't noticed, the IRS lets you self-report your taxes. So really, their job is about 100% ENFORCEMENT OF THE TAX CODE. What are your odds of getting audited? Less than 1 in 100. So... for those of you who are eager for that 6% tax cut on your earnings over $200k a year, this basically means that instead of an audit process where they can get your money, you get to go to "small claims court."

So. Massive tax cuts for business, semi-flat tax tilted towards the wealthy, and gutting the enforcement capability of the IRS.

If you actually wanted tax reform? You'd want the IRS to get bigger, not smaller. 'cuz you know what? They're not auditing the 1040EZ crew. They're auditing assholes like me who are deducting a quarter million dollars against a scant six figures of dual income. Except they aren't auditing assholes like me, either - they audit people like my buddy Jim who bought a block of condos in Majorca so he wouldn't have to declare any of his foreign income in 2009. Or my friend Linda who tax sheltered her inheritance in an undeclared Costa Rican ecoresort.

This is by-the-book Grover Norquist drown-it-in-a-bathtub trickle-down bullshit and you're too smart to fall for it. Know what tickles my funnybone? Every one of these assholes that hearkens back to the glory days of Andy Griffith and Leave It To Beaver always wants to cut the top marginal tax rate for "growth" without so much as acknowledging what taxes looked like back then:

Actually, that was a lie. It doesn't tickle my funnybone. It makes me want to punch old people.