mivasairski blindcopies stuff to me all the time. He sent a letter to someone quoting me. In it, he referred to me as his 'girlfriend' -


I responded:

    !!!!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THOSE SINGLE QUOTATION MARKS???? At the very least, I deserve double quotation marks. Hmmph.


He wrote me back saying,

    I was gonna say my significant other. But, significant as you are, I don't know how """""other""""" you are . . . Hmmm . . . what to say, what to write. Life can be so complicated among us humans.


I wrote:

    I’m perfectly okay with girlfriend. No single or double quotation marks. I’m a girl, I’m your friend. Womanfriend is okay if you don’t like girlfriend, but the extra syllable is awkward.

    I’m also okay with romantic partner, but now we’re into five syllables. On the other hand, it has the unmistakable “romantic” in it, so there is no confusion.

    I’m also okay being a “unit” of some kind. Significant unit would be fine.

    We believe in the Great Oneness and a unit is one. It also suggests unity.

    So henceforward, I think I’ll call you my significant unit.

I haven't heard back. We're three time zones apart. But I do like the sound of significant unit. What do y'all call each other out there in the hubverse?

Note: I've been ambivalent on the use of "wife" and "husband" in my past, preferring "spousal unit" - but I do see those terms a lot on hubski. I was uncomfortable with the ownership associations. I don't care anymore. Mutual ownership is delightful with the right person.


Within the birth community, everyone calls everyone else "partner."

It pisses me off so much.

I've got a fuckin' vow, I've got a mortgage, I've got insurance cards in common, I've got a kid, and I'm a "partner." No, fuck you. I'm a husband. But we can't say "husband" because that's exclusionary to lesbian couples. Who shouldn't be called out as "lesbian" because they might not be romantically involved. So. In order that the least-connected among us not be offended, we must denigrate the most-connected.

I've been married since 2009. Whenever I do repairs or improvements for the benefit of my spouse I ask if it earned me "boyfriend points." Because as a husband, I fuckin' oughtta do that shit but it's still nice getting an "attaboy" every now and then.

posted by lil: 487 days ago