I didn't think Reddit would help me much, and I was looking for answers to this question that would tend towards length, or at least discuss themselves for more than a sentence or two. I thought about asking a coworker or two but I knew I wanted multiple opinions on this, to kind of crowdsource a best answer, and you can't do that efficiently face-to-face at work - or without kind of throwing shade, either.
So I thought I would ask hubski for some interpersonal work advice here. Now, so:
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I have regular catch-ups with my manager. During these, we discuss my work and she tells me where I'm at. If I need direction, she gives me direction.
Now, sometimes, she will make suggestions to do things which I've done already. This happens regularly enough to start to grate on me.
When she suggests I do something I've already done, it feels as if she doesn't think I am good enough at my job to have already thought of and done them. This probably isn't her intent.
What is the best way I can respond to these in a way which demonstrates my competence, without coming across as dismissive, ungrateful, or in general slightly irritated? Because I know me, and I'm worried about what's coming across sometimes.
I need a good relationship with this boss. Maybe I don't think the most highly of her, but I don't think she's trying to cut me down here either. So how do I make sure I don't sound like an ungrateful, tired, put-upon, rude, ass?
in conclusion: You try saying "Yes, I've already done that" three times without sounding like a dick.
You are looking at this all wrong.
You're goal should be to try and get this to happen more often.
Every time it happens you should think of it as a compliment.
Identify the ways you could anticipate anything else should could ask you to do and have it completed before she asks.
Think of things she doesn't know she wants done if you have time and do them.
My wife's work is a state of flux at the moment, every one is very tense and there aren't enough hours in the day. On a good day she gets to tell sales, the vice president and the president that she already though of that and took care of it.
Your boss has problems of her own and only so much bandwidth to keep track of what you are doing. It's taken care of is the best response you can have to her concerns.