I am so sick of seeing men and women tear each other down.
I came across this video today. It is AMAZING what Ronda Rousey has accomplished. What goals she has set for herself and being an inspiration to those who share those goals.
But it does NOT help to say, "Why can't women just understand muscles are sexy?"
I need to be skinnier, because it's sexy.
I need to have more curves, "more meat on my bones," because it's sexy.
I need to wear more makeup, because it's sexy, but I also need to remember that makeup should be subtle and so effortlessly natural most people can't even tell it's there, because it's sexy.
I need to show a little more skin, because it's sexy, but don't forget to be modest about your looks, because that's sexy.
And now, I need to add muscles to my skinny-but-curvy frame with my enhancing-but-natural makeup and revealing-but-modest clothes, because my ultimate goal in life has always been to be sexy. I mean, that's why Rousey is a Bantamweight Champion, right? Because it's sexy?
Stop it. Stop telling me what I need to do to have worth. Stop thinking you can convince me to do something because YOU find it attractive. Where did you get this attitude from? What makes you think I have any interest in impressing you?
You know what? I love working out. I love seeing how far I can push myself, I love trying new things, I love being able to lift just as much shit as my coworkers. I find that sexy, for myself. I will find myself just as sexy on those days where I really don't feel like working out and would rather eat ice cream for breakfast.
That doesn't mean I will tear someone else down for their choice to not work for a healthy lifestyle. You can be a "Do-Nothing-Bitch." You can weigh however much or little as you'd like, if you so desire. It is YOUR body and you treat it however YOU see fit. If you're unhappy with how it looks, awesome, I would be more than happy to help you change it.
But I would really prefer it if your primary reason for getting healthy isn't, "Because someone told me it's sexy."
Edit: I would like to put a note that it's not quite as much the video that bothers me (only a little) but rather the comments I've seen that seem to think the point of the video is to convey that all women should be working out to be as attractive as Ronda. However, please feel free to leave your opinion on the video as well!
If you think about it, "because it's sexy" basically translates into "hurr durr...because I want you to." Which is a non-answer, if you ask me - of course you want me to do the thing you're telling me I should do, but what's the justification? Where's the convincing argument?
("Do x because it's sexy" really usually means "Do x because [I think] it's sexy," which follows naturally do "Do x because I like it/want you to.")
Now, for some people and in some topics, "because I want you to" is enough justification. For instance, if someone asked me to wear lingerie for them, or basically anything else rather low-level and usually not too much effort, time or cost that is placed in an arena where there is a general willingness or desire to please the partner. Sex is a great example because you should want to please your partner during sex. Business/monetary transactions are a great example of where this should never fly. The management of how your body appears to the world is another one. Your body's about the most personal thing you'll ever have, inhabit, own, (whatever word you use for it) and it controls you while you control it.
While "to look sexier for my partner' might be part of a list of reasons a person might want to lose weight, become more muscular, gain weight, hell cut their hair or something, I agree it shouldn't be the only reason and I certainly think any person telling me I should alter my body simply because their desire is sooooo extraordinary as to warrant it is not only justification but a gross demonstration of how that person thinks about his or her right to tell you what to do in life. And then after considering their lack of boundaries and desire for control/influence over you, then you should move on to the fact that they think "because i want you to" is good enough to convince you.
My hackles go up with a bang, immediately, when anyone comments on what I should do with my body or whether what I'm wearing is appropriate/'not attractive'. It's a sensitive topic but moreover it's my body and my choice. (This comes up a lot because I have a number of tattoos and plans for more. I love them and think they add to me; I certainly consider them embellishments, ornaments, attractive additions. However, I have family members that think it is appropriate, even necessary, to tell me that the tattoos make me "ugly." It's my god damn body. Stop thinking you have the right to tell me what to do with it.)