If your response to other people crying is telling them to quit it, you're an asshole. If you do this to a child, you're less than that.

It's alarmingly common in Russia. Whenever kids start misbehaving in any way, their parents think they're in a duty to silence them, sit them down and not let them do anything beyond being a soulless impersonation of parents' best dreams. Such parental idiocy strikes me as both odd and completely understandable, though it by no means warrants it any kind of acceptance or appreciation.

It's odd because most parents wish good upon their children. Using that as a reference point and a bit of understanding of the world's workings, it shouldn't be difficult to figure out what do you do for your child. Don't eat too much candy because it might lead to diabetes, and you won't be able to eat more candies. Don't run with scissors because you can hurt others or yourself, and any fun you might have with those blades never worths more than well-being and health of anyone. Don't stay up late because it might upset your sensitive internal clock and you will have trouble waking up as a result. As an adult, you most likely know of those things - and that children are not reasonable, patient and self-controlling adults yet, so you'd have to apply some control to their lives while not restraining them otherwise so they'd understand risk and reward, and action and consequence, both very important for them as mature human beings.

Simple, right? Yet, we don't see all parents act this way, instead unleashing utter hell on their children which causes some to grow up misaligned socially, mentally or even physically, or even kill themselves.

And it's understandable, too: we're human beings, and human beings are prone to fear. Fear skews our minds, makes us think in ugly, destructive patterns which only serve to feed the parents' dark side of personality (which is our fears, anxieties, deeper wishes and urges which we hide from others because we're taught to see them as repulsive - everybody has this side). Many parents are terrified of the idea that their child, their precious child, will grow up anything other than perfect. Many are also terrified by the idea that their child will not listen to them, to their precious parents. Fear prevents those parents from seeing the periphery, the side-effects of their actions. They tear down and bash anything that may prevent the child from being perfect, and as they see their concernes fulfilled or averted, they rest from parenting, ignoring the rest of the consequences along with the child. It comes as a surprise to them later that their child, their precious little baby, now a full-grown adult who has finally found someone accepting of and loving them, abandons the parents because of their major assholery.

No wonder they're assholes, too! Their live sucks because they're now stuck with two persons they don't feel good about, their job most likely sucks but they have to work to sustain the family, their relationships suck and there are no well-meaning friends in their circle who'd tell them to stop fucking around and do their best... The list might go on. What's true of any bad person is that their lives suck and they aren't willing to take responsibility for it. Parents don't stop being mess-ups because they have a child or three to care about.

This understanding, however, is no excuse for the parent to continue the destructive lazy parenting they're involved in as if against their will. When a child cries, it needs something: love, care, appreciation, even simply attention. When they misbehave, they want to be recognized for their ability to make decisions and for them being a person rather than an extension of someone's wishful thinking. These two simple ideas alone can bring many children out of the parental slump because the adult that took it upon themselves to care for it might finally understand why do their children do all those nasty things. Why aren't we talking about at least that?