Hubski,
What do you think of this criticism?
What does it mean to you, if a person cares too much about what others think? Is there a person or persons like that in your life? Tell us about them.
I would imagine that someone who cares too much what other people think would allow his or her beliefs about their opinions to influence their behavior. I would also think that they would do this in a way to make themselves fit in with a group, however. Like "I want them to like me so I'm going to act in this sort of way."
However, I sometimes feel that certain classes of people are forced to care more about what others think of them.
I think if you want to be perceived in a certain way, or to have a certain reputation - for instance, if you want someone to respect you as a good person - then you have to make sure you consistently act in that manner. Maybe that can seem like "caring too much what other people think," but there's a great value in a solid reputation. When your actions are unimpeachable, the random shit talk of - however - is powerless, because no one who knows you would believe it.
I wonder if sometimes this accusation is leveled against a given person(b) because the accuser wants to convince (b) to do something or act in a certain way, but doesn't have a valid argument for it.
I feel like this is a rather nebulous accusation. It might be accurate, or it's a statement that very easily lends itself towards manipulation. It can't really be defended against. It's abstract. What it really means is, "I don't like how much you care about others' opinions."
How much do you care about other people's opinions? I feel like this would be a varying scale. How much is too much - but we can certainly agree there is also such a thing as too little?
I care what people think of me, but within context of the relationship and my own view of myself. Not all relationships deserve the same consideration. When it comes to pursuing my own happiness, then I don't count people that are unaffected yet judgmental as worthy of consideration.
I value the opinions of those with experience and especially success in a given area. I give little weight to opinions of people that do not have experience or success, even if they are people that are close to me.
People are often insecure and unsure. The support of friendship is something that can be wonderfully consistent, and is usually more reliable than advice.
I do my best not to defend my actions. If someone wants an explanation, I will offer one, but I make a point of not responding to judgement alone. I try not to apologize unless I really feel regret.
I don't have to be liked by everyone, but I try not take the relationships I have for granted. I am working on being a better listener.