It goes without saying that our parents are often the most important and influential figures in our lives. This relationship isn't always perfect, but often there are perfect moments. What, for you is a moment that you find to be a perfect moment with your mom or your dad, or both? Perhaps perfect is too absolute.... when were you happy with them? What moment stands out? I know that some of you on Hubski have lost a parent, if you feel so inclined, what positive memories stay with you?
I'll go first:
For as long as I can remember, one of my top moments regarding my parental memories was that of winning our T-Ball world series with my father as the head coach. He was/is the kind of guy that made sure every kid got as much playing time as every other kid and still, we won.
But...
Tonight may have taken the #1 spot. I am recording a new album (ghostoffuffle, T-Dog) and my dad has been listening to the demos from it. He loves music and has always been the biggest supporter of the songs I write/record and the live music too.
About two years ago my dad confessed to me that he had been traveling, everywhere he goes with a harmonica. He plays it all the time, in the car, at his desk, late at night and even in bed. The guy is obsessed with harmonica.
Tonight I recorded my father playing harmonica to some songs that I wrote and it was awesome.
The first song was pretty cool, I basically had him replicate the feedback sounds that I had created on my guitar. It was a good way for him to "warm up" and get used to the process.
The other song we recorded turned out amazingly though. I added a bunch of reverb and delay to his track, so much so that it no longer sounded like a harmonica. I manipulated the feedback/delay on his harmonica track while he played it and it was like we were collaborating and playing the same instrument together in real time... it was bad ass and the resulting sounds were really compelling and suited the song perfectly.
Then he recorded a harmonica track to the song without any delay etc and there were no effects to hide behind. His parts were beautiful and they were also incredibly sincere. This is an 8 minute long song and the last 4 minutes are largely ambient sounds. I almost stopped recording him at the 4 minute mark but I looked over at him and his eyes were closed and he was so obviously deep within the song that I dare not stop recording.
It was really amazing to see my fathers face, eyes closed and so intensely in the moment of a song, the same way I have been so many times. I felt an intense connection to him and for the first time I see where my gift for music came from.
It was a cool moment for me.
Your turn....
When I turned 18, my dad stopped me on my way to my room and said, "when I was 16, your grandfather died and your mom broke up with me the same week. Life is hard sometimes."
Also, when a new president of my dad's university came in, my dad's position as associate dean ended. I was in college and he called me to tell me that we were hanging out that day instead. We went to this bbq joint near my house and spent the day getting wasted and eating the whole appetizer menu.
My dad is weird about teaching me life lessons, but they stick, so good on him, I guess. Then again, my dad is a dude whose father's idea of a birthday party was to hike up a mountain with the child, catch a chicken, kill it and roast it. Even so, I know how to gut fish and how much fun it is to have spider fights because of my dad, so thanks pops.
With my ma, I remember one time she told me I wasn't breastfed because I couldn't latch on. Later it came out that I don't have siblings because my ma felt like she's not cut out to be a mom and that I needed so much minding. For example, if mom was driving, I wasn't allowed to ask questions because I might distract her. I guess I'm glad that I learned my parents were human early on, but if I'm honest, I'm so ardent about making sure I'm not a father because I worry about how I'd be as a parent.