A few weeks ago I had a chance to try ayahausca for the first time. I attempted to record the entire experience in detail. After having some time to reflect on it, I can honestly say that it was a lovely encounter. When looking back on the past month of experience, the ayahausca encounter is like an experiential nuclear bomb. I'll quickly describe the basic narrative of events in my experience, but I'd also like to preface this by saying that the event cannot be put into language, not really. It feels like a mind mirror of some kind, and mind-body sensations or perceptions are far more important than analytical concepts.

- After first cup - felt nothing - some shapes and colours.

- After the second cup - the singing around me felt "perfect". I had a strong sensation of being "pulled" towards the center of the group's energy. I could easily imagine all of humanity together.

- For a moment "Cadell" resisted how my mind was becoming transformed. The transformation is an indescribable process. Specifically remember thinking "Oh my god, I could go off the deep end, the cliff of the mind." This "cliff" has a spatial dimension, but a much stronger and more terrifying temporal dimension. - But I had read a lot about this experience so I remembered back to what the almost universal advice is: "let go, don't try and control this". I also remembered what my friend had told me before taking the first cup: "let it take you". And so I "let go".

- After this moment - which lasted for a very brief period of "time" - I was off in an entirely positive direction.

- In this space I was able to think and contemplate aspects of my life. Mostly things that were happening in my recent history. Many people describe experiencing deep connections to the past (i.e., childhood, etc.), but I didn't.

- I felt as if I was in dialogue, more like a meta-dialogue of some kind. There was more a feeling of "What can I do for the world?" "I'm looking for answers about what to do to make humanity peaceful and loving?" The experience kept showing me a tremendous campfire surrounded with billions of humans. There was complete joyous celebration everywhere. I kept feeling a tremendous "mind hug" of overwhelming power.

- I had the strong intuition that if everyone could feel my direct subjective experience, everything would be transformed. A complete apocalypse in the traditional sense of the word, like some type of "revelation".

- I felt as though "Cadell" was burning in the fire. The feeling was also overwhelmingly strong. I had the feeling of a presence that said something like "I know you've been waiting for mystery, I know you wanted to experience this directly, so here it is."

- I went through immense emotional phases that felt something like crying for all of the pain that is currently happening on the planet as a whole. But this felt rejuvenating. It felt justified.

- Felt like I was at the peak of mind. Here I thought this was a "mind mirror" of some kind.

- Thought: "This is everything."

- Other than the feeling of a "mind mirror", I did sense something like "Other". This "Other" was feminine and its presence occurred three times in the experience. It was mysterious/loving.

- Most of the experience felt like an "eternity".

- Powerfully felt the robotic nature of our society. That our fear of robotics is a projection of our own robotic behaviour.

- There were a few moments where it felt like there was a strong qualitative "phase transition" in the mind , like my reality could be ripped through and I could really leave my mind. Wanted it to happen but I lost the sensation.

- There were also sensations of higher dimensions of space and whirling stars everything, but that faded away too.

- Felt life as warm, and Earth as our home.

- As I came down from the experience, I felt refreshed. Almost as if my mind-body had been dirty and I was coming up from a clear river.

That was a summarised version. Overall, since reflecting I realise that I want to continue exploring this experience. I feel as though it is perhaps the most powerful experience I've ever had. I don't think it is magic in that you just become more intelligent or anything by taking it. But I would say it is an important experience, at least for me, for two main reasons:

1. The intensity with which you experience the present moment on the planet is on a higher level.

2. The importance of encountering a phenomenon you cannot put into language is the highest beauty, and forces you to confront your own worldview, which is after all, linguistically constructed.

However, it is also a very serious substance. I think if someone took this without knowing what it was, or without having read anything about it, or without preparing their mind for it, it could definitely result in a terrifying experience. Also, it seems like a substance that forces you to confront your own mind, your own flaws, etc. But also, it allows you to think clearly and ask questions, and this is a very rewarding encounter.

Anyway, those are my initial thoughts.