I've learned a lot since I decided to come out of the closet. Not just to myself, but to my family. Things were bad at first. Both of my parents told me it was disgusting, wrong, sick, every cliche you can think of. Still, they didn't completely abandon me. I am grateful for that. It's been about a year and a half since then. I've had more than enough opportunities to talk with them about things.

Let's jump back in the story a bit...

I started hooking up with guys when I was fourteen, most of them much older than me. It never bothered me too much. It wasn't until about two years ago that I actually realized that a lot of those men were probably pedophiles. It seems like something I should have been aware of but I can't explain it.

My sister's done a lot too. I'm not going to sugar coat it, she's a prostitute. She's turning twenty this year and she has sex with much older men for money. I've done it too. It's another one of those things that just seem normal somehow. The funny thing is, we were both doing it before we were aware that each other was doing it. We both independently decided it was something that we wanted to do. Granted, my sister does it way more than I do. I still hookup with guys fairly often but I'm not really into getting paid.

Back to my parents...

They never talked about their past much with us. When we were younger everything was about church. Everything. We couldn't have a conversation without it somehow leading back to God. Now that we're past all that we can get to the real stuff. I found out from my mom that when she was younger (like fifteen) she did the same thing we did. I'm not sure about the getting paid part but she did have sex with much older men. I found out that my dad was molested by one of his youth pastors when he was around fourteen. It just seems...odd. How things like that can run in the family, especially when no one ever talked about any of it. I'm still not sure if any of this bothers me or not. I know that sounds weird, not knowing, but I just can't bring up any feelings on the matter. On the plus side. My parents don't have much of a problem with me being gay anymore. They're at the point where they'll tell me that they don't mind me being gay, that it's the promiscuity that they have a problem with. It's a step up if nothing else.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Maybe hearing other people's opinions on the matter will help me form my own.


posted 3541 days ago