I miss you hubski! Family I just spent eleven days with my wife and two of the kids in Florida and on a cruise. Weather-wise, it couldn't have been better. We missed two massive snow dumps at home. Otherwise it was nice. It's never FULL vacation when you have kids with you - too much planning, negotiating, scheduling etc. - but it's still nice to get away and have some fun. Work Career is in a good spot. I'm still feeling challenged and pushing for some new things. When I took this role fifteen months ago, it was an individual contributor. A year ago when leadership shuffled, I found myself interim leader of a whole department but after hiring my boss six months ago, I'm down to managing a smaller team. I do think I miss being an IC... but I don't mind managing. People are kinda my thing. Life Health experiment is still going well. I was down about 30 pounds at the start of the holiday season. Yes, I'm back up a little bit (intentionally - I wanted to enjoy some food), but interestingly, I really didn't eat to total excess and this week I'm craving the low calorie foods. The snow is putting a damper on my cycling plans, but I'll still find a way to get active. The mental/psychological/emotional piece is still so strange to me... what a bizarre connection I've built to food over the years... still hacking at that. Miscellaneous I've operated vehicles on four continents, in a dozen countries, and at least 30 of the states.... I've never experienced anything like driving in Miami, Florida. That place is BONKERS.
snowed a lot last night multiple inches of fluff it is also cold
I am in Sebastopol, CA in an AirBnB right now. New job had a department off-site. It's a whirlwind trip, flew in Monday, informal meetings Monday evening, semi-formal meetings Tuesday morning, then a party bus tour of two different wineries all afternoon, dinner in the evening, and late nights both nights. I'm the last one to fly out today... kinda wondering if an Uber will actually come all the way out here to get me... fingers crossed. New gig is going so well I have to pinch myself. It's been a while since I've been in the startup world, and this is the first one I've worked that has Silicon Valley money. It's a little weird and I'm adjusting... but I love it. It's a good Wednesday folks. my foggy morning view:
some artist is reading that headline and thinking... FINALLY.
I read Catcher in the Rye last weekend. I don't read much, and I'm sure I was supposed to read that in High School. I'm not really sure what I think about it yet. It's been on my long list of "some day I'll get around to reading that book" books. More later when I've processed it some more. I also got around to watching a film that has been on the list for a while: The Fisher King. After watching it, I'm certain that I've seen a few clips before, but I've never watched it. I enjoyed it immensely, and it served as an interesting viewing after having read the aforementioned book. It's a good week pubski friends. I raise my bottle in your general direction
for root cause reasons I'll never understand... coupled with environmental factors I totally understand... I had a terrible mental health day. I woke up feeling on top of the world. Could not have been better. Finished an audiobook with my wife on our morning walk.... and one side comment that didn't matter just wormed its way in to my brain and festered and I allowed it to grow. Things at work started piling up. A friend sent me a picture of us from 20 years ago where I am much more handsome and had some form of happiness in my eyes. My neck is tense. Work issue after work issue after infrastructure issue bores into my skull like a pneumatic nail gun. I feel tired. Personnel issue plus a couple of fighting kids, plus remote school issue, plus a peer at work who not-so-subtly tries to belittle me and put me in a corner. I can feel my heart beating now, like it's punching my ribs from the inside. Another escalated customer is upset because they changed a setting in our software and a member of my team wasn't able to immediately fix their problem. so tired now. My peer who knows she's better than me not-so-subtly reminds me again. thoughts Are getting darker now. Quit Slack Quite Zoom Quit Outlook Put computer to sleep Stand up Walk four paces Collapse in bed Turn off phone sleep . . it worked a bit. Woke up in time for my 3pm meeting. the darkness persists. I'm going to ride my bike for a while. I hope your days are better days.
we're all here pulling for you OB.
I think you should let yourself off the hook. I think you are FAR from alone. I'm trying to forgive myself a lot these days. Everything is different - how could we expect ourselves to not be affected? Thanks for posting the craft fair.... I've been not in a good place emotionally enough to even look at the threads until now. Thanks for making the world a little better.If ennui is a disease, I'm suffering from it right now. I realized that my surface-level emotions are stable, but the underlying emotional framework is Not Okay. I'm in a weird mental space right now, and I feel somehow unequipped to participate in Hubski? If I understood why I felt that way, I'd tell y'all.
nil, I'm really sorry to hear it, but I hope you know we're with you in spirit, cheering you on, championing your recovery, and hoping for a better tomorrow.
An incomplete list in no particular order (which I may add to when I wake up a bit more): Harold and Maude There Will Be Blood Magnolia Red Dawn Cinema Paradiso The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover Heat Jean de Florrette/Manon of the Spring Trainspotting Strictly Ballroom Drowning Mona Oh Brother Where Art Thou Waking Ned Devine The Sound of Music Gattaca Into the Wild Interstellar Dead Poets Society The Big Lebowski Control In America A Clockwork Orange Full Metal Jacket Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels That’s a good start. [EDIT] to add: Captain Fantastic Benny and Joon Raise the Red Lantern
I will admit to a drop in my activity. hubski is one of my favorite places- but life takes precedence. I don’t claim to be any more busy than anyone else, but I can tell you - I’m moderately aware of a dozen “regulars” who are all still here - but so busy it would blow your mind. And I’m not talking about busywork busy - I’m talking about starting companies and dealing with investors. I’m talking about raising children with healthy habits. I’m talking about caring for ailing parents. I’m taking about surviving cancer and other life threatening illnesses. We’re all here. If anyone is like me - they wish they could scrape out a few more minutes per day to contribute - but priorities are what they are, and I’ve only got so many cycles. I still love you all.
long time gone... and I'm missing this place. a week ago I got to see thenewgreen and mk in person and it was a glorious couple of hours. I've re-written this post four times now. So much to say... but none of it seeming important enough to share at the moment. I'd like a few more hours in the day. Can any of you help me understand where they're hiding? Keep on rockin' in the free world.
Better without the flash
I peaced out of work a few minutes early so I could hit my kid’s rugby game. After today, this 75F and breezy afternoon at the city park is exactly what I needed.