The past year or so I've been more active with my local Baha'i Community and a local church. I make it a plan to have dinner with a friend or a group of friends at least twice a month. I call my relatives and other friends on the phone more frequently and often talk for an hour or more. I try to go to special events, whether they're art exhibits, sporting events, or what have you whenever I have the time and the money. Most importantly, I try to get Dala involved in things whenever possible and when it's not possible, I be sure to do things with her one on one, even if it just means sitting on the couch for an afternoon reading while our dog sits between us.

All of this has made an immense difference in my mental health and world view and every single day I find myself waiting anxiously for the next time I can get out of the house and interact with people. In fact yesterday I found myself feeling a bit melancholy just because I went to such an amazing picnic over the weekend that I think I was crashing from a bit of a high.

There's a whole world out there people and it's fucking amazing. Gather your family, gather your friends, and go explore it. You don't know what you're missing.

Friends

Making new ones. We're currently trying to figure out dinner plans for this weekend (which, as I'm typing this out, plans are already starting to fall apart a bit. Shoot.). One of the most exciting things in life is meeting new people and sharing discussions, so I'm really stoked.

Books

I've finished The Earth Abides. I've started Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis and Eaarth by Bill McKibben. To follow up I have a translation of Wolfram Von Schenbach's medieval novel Parzival, Locking Up Our Own by James Forman Jr., No Future Without Forgiveness by Desmond Tutu, Language, Truth & Logic by Alfred Jules Ayer, and Tractatus, Logico, Theologicus by John Warwick Montgomery. To add to the list, at the insistance of my friend who bought the book for me, I'm reading a Star Trek dime novel called How Much For Just The Planet? No. I'm not joking. Yes, I'm really reading that because I promised I would.

I'm pretty certain I've bitten off more than I can chew. I'm a slow, easily distracted, and unthorough reader. It took me about a month to get through The Earth Abides. I also made a bunch of space on the bookshelf and already it's filling back up. So on the one hand, yay books! On the other hand, next time I'll have to exercise a bit more discretion and moderation when making some book orders. At least I've had a few lovely chats with the ladies at the book store recently.

Drawing

Still haven't drawn anything. I've just been so busy. I'm starting to feel like I'm actually neglecting it.

It's on here! It's a filter that removes the majority of the gamification aspects of the website. Namely, share count and follower information. You can find it in the drop down menu on your settings page. If you don't know how to get there, just click your username on the top left corner, then click the link that says "settings." The zen option will be on a drop down menu in the third column of your settings page.

Thank you!

Sadly, I haven't done any drawing for the past month. Not out of disinterest, but I'm focusing on a few other things. Namely, trying to figure out going back to school, trying to find a new job, and strengthening personal relationships. I have a few days off next week though, and I aim to sit down and draw at least one thing. I promise to share it when I do (if it's any good that is).

I hope everyone reading this knows how bright and beautiful they are. Here's two blue birds. Just because.

You're right to associate the two. The paper originally started because the founder of Christian Science, Mary Baker Eddy, was originally being hounded left and right by churches and other traditional institutions for her offshoot of Christianity. One of the avenues that this happened was through newspapers. This was pretty common at the time and pretty shameful. So she created The Christian Science Monitor as a result, not necessarily to push her religion, but because she wanted some fair press somewhere.

The paper itself is secular and has been known to put out some pretty compelling reporting from time to time. It was especially well regarded during the '60s and '70s when our country was going through a rough political time.

Edit: I used to read them a lot back in the early 2000s. I don't quite remember why I stopped, it was probably one of those things where I just didn't keep on reading them. I think I might add them back into my news rotation.

Edit 2: Apparently even Mark Twain got aboard the anti-Eddy train. Is there anyone in his lifetime he didn't pick a fight with?

Man. That article hit a lot of notes. Retail jobs being second jobs for a lot of people with families. People taking temp jobs in hopes of them leading to something more permanent. The closing of anchor stores in malls leading to the closing of smaller, specialized stores. The community effects of dropping property values. Pretty bleak, all around.

When they talk about the "retail apocalypse" they're not just talking about the death of stores and the jobs that go with them... they're talking about the infrastructure that supports them. I honestly have no idea how a town of 16,000 people rates three anchor department stores in the first place, but if your town could support them once, and now your town can't, y'all are fucked.

Once again, makes me think about this comment I made earlier this morning.

That said, I don't know how much diversity you can really get out of a town with only 16,000 people.

Community.

Cars and Antiques

I don't want to overhype this, but I bought the most wonderful sales book for The Nash 600. Every page you open to, the left page is a beautiful illustration and the right page is a long pitch for a particular feature of the car. It's hard to describe and do it justice, but each page says in so many ways "This car is a triumph of technology. We fell in love with it when we made it, you'll fall in love with it when you drive it." Tomorrow or Friday, when I have the time, I'm gonna take a few pictures and share my favorite pages.

Jobs

Yesterday I applied to one I'm really hopeful for. No response back yet. I'll give it another day or so and then give them a call. It's nothing fancy, so my chances are in the high middle, but I like the place and I don't like where I'm at now so I'm really hopeful.

Drawing

I have some ideas. Nothing put to paper and I don't know when I'll have time to put something to paper next. It's nice to have ideas though.

Without trying to sound disparaging to Venezuela, at this point they really don't seem to have much to lose.

So, here's the thing about conversation that rezzeJ and kleinbl00 kind of touched on, but kind of didn't. Contrary to what some people seem to believe sometimes, every last person you meet has the potential to be absolutely fascinating to you. First and foremost, when you talk to people and you want to get to know them, start talking to them as if you already assumed that they're gonna blow you away. This brings about your inquisitive side and suddenly turns you from a passive listener waiting for your turn to speak into an active listener.

Here's a super simplified version.

Devac: Do you have any hobbies?

rd95: I like fishing.

D: That's cool. I'm into role playing games.

You waited to hear my response, not because you were interested in what I had to say, but because it's the polite thing to do. Then you gave your polite, expected response and now we're back where we started, struggling to find something to talk about. You learned something about me, but you didn't learn about me.

With active listening, it's a whole new ball game.

D: Do you have any hobbies?

r: I like fishing.

D: Oh? What do you like most about it.

r: Honestly? I'm not a very good fisherman and I don't catch anything very often and when I do, I do catch and release. I really like getting into the outdoors though, experience nature and the quiet a bit. There's a lot of beauty there.

D: I know what you mean. Are you a pretty big nature buff?

r: Totally. I've been that way ever since I was a kid. My parents used to take me hiking, exploring creeks, teaching me about animals. It's something that never left me.

With just a few more questions and an earnest desire to learn about me, you now know that I don't care about fishing for fishing's sake, I love nature, I love beauty, and I gave an example about how my parents taking an active, hands on role in my childhood helped me develop into who I am. Now you have more avenues to ask questions to know more about me and what was at first a conscious attempt to find me interesting becomes a subconscious, honest fascination.

Here's the real kicker. People love to talk about themselves, not because they're selfish and self centered, but it's because that's the one topic they know best of all. And when you give them the opportunity, asking them question after question with true interest, they actually like you more. You come across as polite, sincere, open, and friendly. That forty minutes spent talking to a person? It'll go by like lightning and there's a good chance, by the time things are said and done, you'll have a phone number, an e-mail, or at the very least, an interesting conversation.

I'm not pulling your leg here. This has worked for me every since college man. I fucking love talking to people and I'll talk to anyone about anything they're comfortable talking about and I always look forward to an opportunity to get someone new.

Edit: Added a point.

Oh no! You beat me to the punch! I was gonna post this cause I was interested in what Hubski's entrepreneurs and trend analysts thought. I guess I'll just leave this here . . .

lower seatbelt use, higher drunk driving, more speeding.

I blame our cultural sense of individualism and it creating a sense of having a right to ignore the rules when we want. It's everywhere. You see it in the soccer mom taking a cartful of groceries to the express check-out demanding to be served because she doesn't want to wait in line. You see it in young computer users who torrent television shows or video games because they don't want to pay full price for entertainment. You see it in the rich who store their wealth in tax havens. We have tabloids about celebrities with substance abuse or marital problems. We have whole genres of heroes who flaunt authority from comic book characters who engage in vigilante justice to cowboys, soldiers, and cops who decide to take matters into their own hands. We not only engage and celebrate in this behavior, but we always seem to find ways to justify it.

So what do we get from that? We get the sense that rules, even ones that are there to protect us and keep us from harming ourselves and each other, can be pushed, bent, broken, and worked around. Use you're seatbelt cause it's safe. Don't speed cause speeding is dangerous. Don't drink and drive because it's super dangerous. Don't expect those rules to apply to you though, cause you're an American, you can do what you want. Then when someone tells you no, punishes you, or heaven forbid something disastrous happens, you get to play the outrage/entitlement/victim card.

/rant

Every now and again, Antiques Roadshow (don't judge me, I'm cool and so are my hobbies) will have an updated episode kind of thing, where they go back to an old episode from a decade or so ago and show what the same pieces would be appraised at todays dollars. Sometimes they go up, sometimes they go down, sometimes they only go up enough to account for inflation. A lot of these pieces are famous pieces by famous creators, studios, etc. and even then their prices are volatile and based upon purchasing fads (which probably creates a price feedback cycle).

So with that in mind, something crazy like a Da Vinci would be a safe bet. But I'd only make that statement about a verified Da Vinci. The fact that this painting is attributed to Da Vinci and then followed up with a question mark and a caveat, does make it seem like maybe it was a little over payed for.

What do I know though? To me, a million dollars is an unfathomable amount. The gap between 1 million and 450 million is unfathomable and 450 million is pretty much out of the realm of my imagination. Plus, I got chastised recently for having "pedestrian" and "uncultured" taste in art so this whole thing is really out of my realm.

mk! When I load more comments in the chatter section, the hubwheel at the bottom now spins as it loads up new ones. What happened to "minimalism"?

. . . though it does look fancy . . .

We, as a modern society, have lost something along the way to a higher education: moral and civil upbringing. The universities — and schools, in general — no longer teach young people values: they teach data that is, hopefully, going to be applied at a future position in a company.

Literally, no. I'm a drop out from some run of the mill community college not and not some liberal institution like Berkley and even there classes are steeped in discussions on how to navigate the world virtuously. I even had to take a class called, of all things, "Ethics." In my time in college, I was exposed to conversations from everything from how to properly collect, store, and present data to patient/doctor or client/lawyer confidentiality, the power of cultural expression, health care, poverty, on and on and on. If anything, people were embracing the exercise of trying to learn how to be more ethical and figuring out what that does and doesn't involve.

I think it's an issue of "I don't understand where I am in the world, what I stand for and what am I". It's an issue of a growing person building up their personality and trying things out to see what sticks.

That's literally what adolescence and young adulthood is for. College kids get lucky because they get a few more years and a safe haven to experiment even further.

I think there ought to be something in the education system to help prevent going radical through educating about the world at large.

You mean classes like art, literature, history, psychology, sociology, anthropology, and ethics? Any combination of which can be found at any non-technical school?

Things that are supposed to get taught by the real life that so many people unfortunately miss due to the way the modern societal infrastructure has grown.

College is for building up fanciful ideas. Real life is for figuring out what actually sticks.

We're more isolated and lonely than ever, and I wonder how many young adults entering university this year even know how to do their taxes.

I blame the internet.

There ought to be something we can do to accommodate for it.

I say burn down the internet.

Well, there's a lot of differences about Boxing and MMA, and most of them come through in the rule set. That said, I wouldn't quite say that MMA is anything more than stylized violence.

MMA is over too quickly for it to be about anything other than stylized violence.

There's actually a lot of skill and training that goes into it and I think the pedigree of styles that become dominant baselines reflect that. If we look at the history of the UFC for example, pretty early on it was basically a way for the Gracies to show off BJJ. One of the things that become apparent though, was that people that came from combat sports, such as boxing, muay thai, judo, olympic wrestling, etc. did much, much better than people that came from traditional martial arts kung fu, wing-chung, tae kwon do, etc. A large reason for that is that in traditional martial arts, many competitions are light contact and points based, while combat sports involved actual fighting. Continuous and sustained. You had people that weren't afraid of getting hurt and weren't afraid of hurting other people. That's why, as far as traditional martial arts are concerned, Kyokushin Karate and Judo actually did relatively well in MMA, because when it comes to competing, people didn't fuck around.

There's a step further in all of this though. Because people in combat sports are training to win, they don't have time to entertain techniques and theories that aren't proven to work. So while a certain kick might do you well in a point base system because it's quick and flexible, if it has flaws, like for example it doesn't actually hurt or it leaves you easily open for counters, it's not going to be adopted by people in combat sports. What that eventually evolves to is combat styles develop better and more effective techniques for actual combat than traditional martial arts because fighters learn the hard way over and over what does and doesn't work and they have to drop what doesn't work.

This also leads into rule sets. For example, if you have rules that don't allow blows to the head (look at competitive tae kwon do for example) you're gonna have people that don't know how to properly guard their head. Conversely, if you have rules that do allow blows to the head but no blows below the waist, you're gonna develop a defensive style that favors that. You're leg stance is gonna be set up in such a way that makes you more mobile but all of the sudden if you're in an MMA setting you're vulnerable to having your legs being kicked out from under you or easily being sweeped by a tackle. Similarly, boxers can bob and weave all they want, but in an MMA setting, if they pull that shit, they're begging to get kneed in the head.

Which leads me to this . . .

Which is why every ten-fifteen years we need to have the hot shit in not-boxing get annihilated by whatever boxer will do it for the least money.

Every time you train for a certain rule set, you're gonna be competent in that rule set. If a career MMA person steps into the boxing ring with a career boxer, they're at an extreme disadvantage. That boxer has a decade plus years of experience in strickly boxing, where the MMA fighter doesn't. Their fighting style has been catered to match the rules and min-max the fuck out of them for their advantage. The MMA fighter on the other hand doesn't have the same experience with rules or styles.

Even when rules are similar but enough has changed, there will be a disadvantaged fighter. Somewhere out there is a video of an exhibition match between an American Kick Boxer named Rick Roufous and a Thai Fighter named Changpuek Kiatsongrit. American Kick Boxing didn't allow leg kicks. Thai Boxing did. Rick Roufous did not know how to intelligently defend against leg kicks, to the point where his opponent won by TKO because he basically destroyed the fuck out of Roufous' legs. In an exhibition match, a champion kick boxer lost to a thai fighter because the rules did not favor him.

There are similar vidoes out there of boxers losing to thai fighters for the same reason, BJJ wrestlers losing to Judoka when it comes to stand up game and Judoka losing to BJJ wrestlers when it comes to ground game, and on and on and on. While not necessarily recorded, you'll hear similar stories pre UFC days. MMA isn't actually something new. Cross style exhibition matches are part of the game and are often used as both marketing opportunities as well as good will events between different nations and cultures. The guys behind the UFC though? They just figured out how to really capitalize on shit and the ball has been rolling ever since.

Also, it goes without saying, what your dad's friend did was pretty stupid, but I think we both already knew that. :)

It was a very interesting podcast, which I think could be summed up as "We won't know until we do." It was particularly interesting where modern day instances basically canceled out mid 20th century sci-fi ideas. For example, more efficient and direct means of communication could rule out the possibility of radio chatter or better use of materials and more efficient use of energy might mean that concepts like Dyson Spheres are unnecessary, etc. It was a fun little listen.

OH MY GOD! I NEED TO START A GO-FUND-ME!!!

But then I put my name on it and it hangs over both of us. Maybe I don't put my name on it and then it hangs over me. I don't know.

Shit sucks. I'm not gonna give advice one way or another, but I will say something annecdotately that might help with perspective.

When I was having money problems every once in a blue moon my mother would send me a check in the mail, unsolicited. I never cashed them unless I was absolutely desperate and I kept track of every last dollar and when things got better I tried my best to pay her back a bit at a time. When Dala and I got married, her wedding gift to us was forgiving what was left of my debt.

There is a deep, deep burning shame in that whole scenario that I honestly can't describe. Nothing has ever made me feel like less of a person and I honestly doubt I'll ever come across anything that ever will. I'm not mad at her, because what she did out of me she did out of love and concern, much like what you're considering is motivated by the same.

I just think, maybe if you do something that big, you should throw some feelers out and see what kind response you get. After all, in the hardest of times, a man's dignity is the most important thing he has to hold on to.

They're gonna fail, cause their idea is dumb. The insulting part is that they openly state wanting to make corner stores obsolete. No. Wait. The insulting part is that they think that smart phone powered operating machines are something people want. No. Wait. The insulting part is that other people have probably already thought of it first, dismissed it as dumb, yet these guys want to go ahead with it and probably expect idiots to put out cold, hard, VC $ to support them.

Dala is heading to the grocery store to pick up havarti cheese and a few jalapenos cause I'm gonna try and make her hamburger, on rye bread, with havarti cheese, jalapeno, onion, and mayo. What are the chances these shitty vending machines would have havarti and jalapenos?

Idiots.

Gonna try and find some time to knock some dents in my comic book "To Read" list. Mainly, East of West, X-O Manowar, and Ninjak.

Dala and I do double dates and group things as often as possible. It's really not all that awkward. Just go to your wife and say, "Hey, Bob and his wife Jen really like Jazz. Since we're going to see that band you like this weekend, wanna invite them?"

"Partnering with Putin on a 'Cyber Security Unit' is akin to partnering with Assad on a 'Chemical Weapons Unit.'

Someone needs to embroider this, with little flowers and birds and computer chips and biohazard symbols.

Warning: Sophomoric Ramblings Ahead

I saw this posted the other night, last night? This morning? Shit, I dunno, this weekend has been a blur, but I've been rolling things around in my head a bit since I've read this.

I read an opinion piece the other day, I think The Guardian, that threw out the statistic that if you were born in America in the '50s, you had a 90% chance to exceed your parents' income. If you were born in the '80s, that dropped to 50%. I can only assume it's been dropping since. Just throwing that out there, though I don't know how accurate it is.

I've been pretty bitter the past few years. House hunting and job hunting simultaneously and coming up with nasty disappointment on both fronts does a lot to color my perception. It's not about the money. It never has been. It's about respect. All I want is a job where when people ask me what I do for a living, and I tell them, their eyes light up and say "Wow. That's an interesting job," and then follow up with questions out of genuine interest and not some awkward feeling of social obligation to propel a conversation forward. I don't want a big house, or a fancy house. I just want a solid house. Hell, I'd be willing to give up over half the stuff I own to live in a small house, just as long as I have a house. There's something about owning your own place, not living with others, not paying a landlord, that says "You see this guy? He has his shit together and he made it." I got neither. It makes me feel like a bum and a failure as a husband sometimes, though I know Dala doesn't hold it against me.

People talk about movements on here and other places on the internet all the time. Tiny houses. Sharing economies. Community gardens. This that and the other. I sometimes wonder if people are pursuing these things out of an equal sense of desire for simplicity and smallness, acceptance of their fate that they have to do more with less, and an embracing of creativity and entrepreneurship.

This weekend I paid for my gas with the random handful of bills I had in my wallet, not because I'm broke, but because that's what I had on me at the time. It wasn't near enough to fill up my tank. It reminded me of when I was broke and I was kind of nostalgic for it. I hate the fear of being broke and never want to go back to that, but I miss being forced to be simple. I have too many books and antiques and stuff. I'm constantly getting rid of it. I'm constantly getting more. I'm constantly getting frustrated with myself about it. I don't know how to break the cycle and I've been trying for years.

Sometimes I wonder if being forced to do more with less will eventually be good for America. I think we have too much. A few months back, I drove through the part of town with the multi-million dollar mansions. They're obscene. I found myself frustrated with the people inside because I don't think they deserve their money, because even if they came by it honestly, they also came by it because they're willing participants in a system that exploits others. Here, there, yesterday, tomorrow. Then they take this money and buy things they don't need instead of using it to try and fix the world. It seems so unjust. Then I look at myself, with my nice car, my nice food, my overwhelming collection of stuff, and I think, to someone else somewhere else, they'd look at me and think I'm being just as obscene.

The thoughts in that last paragraph have been on my mind for months now. I've just been trying to figure out how to share them without sounding like a melodramatic child.

So since francopoli posted this, I think about the job. I think about the house. I think about what I want versus what I already have versus what other people want and have or don't have and then I don't know what to think anymore. But I think it might be time to be done complaining, because complaining doesn't fix things for me or for anyone else, it just adds to the frustration and resentment. But if I stop complaining, then I have to start asking questions, and if I start asking questions, I have to start figuring out how to answer them.

That takes introspection. That takes work. That takes commitment. That's big and scary. When I think about those things, then look at people who avoid life's problems through entertainment or drugs, or people who blame others instead of asking themselves questions, I don't know if I can really fault them for it. After all, in a way, isn't that kind of what we all do in our day to day lives? Distract ourselves? Make excuses? Pass the buck . . ?

Hmm. I'm reading the article now and I can kind of see the point about wanting to protect the significance or religious or cultural iconography. If something's value is partly in the message it conveys, diluting or distorting that message in a way could harm that value.

Well, I'm just kind of curious about your experience overall and I know making things is sometimes a thinking process, so I'm just curious about what you think. What made you decide to pick up painting? What do you enjoy about it and what about it frustrates you? Is there anything you think you've learned along the way?

Dude. Amazon and Wal-Mart are fucking winning. Their market share makes them fucking goliaths and other companies are trying their best to follow their examples from everything from employee management to distribution.

Speaking of, Wal-Mart gets a rating of 3.1. If there's a baseline for retail/grocery, I'd call it that. Between you and me, I'd call that generous.

Retail and grocery often has a high turnover rate these days when it comes to grunt workers, so you don't have a lot of people who know how things have changed. You talk to people in a lot of companies that have been there for a while and they'll say "Oh yeah, about five years ago, we had 6 managers in our store. Now we have three. We also have a third of the number of full time employees now because they don't want to pay for our healthcare" or "Oh yeah, every year they give us less and less bankable hours. We're down to about 45% of the alloted labor that we had six years ago" or "My health insurance wasn't great, but it was alright. Now it's a joke" or "Before Obamacare, I used to be able to work 35+ hours a week but now I'm lucky to get 15 and I haven't seen overtime in years."

Go to a Wal-Mart Worker in an at-will state. Dare them to walk by their boss and whisper the word "union." They won't fucking do it. They have a better chance of losing their job than you do of spitting into an olympic sized swimming pool and hitting water.

People are getting laid off, hours are getting cut, everyone is losing their healthcare, wages are going down, stores are closing, and it's all because these companies are worried about short term profits and short term share values and they don't give two shits about the lives that get ruined over in the process.

Random statements.

I remember when Dala and I first started dating. She didn't care that I was having money trouble at the time, she was just impressed that I was working two full time jobs. She didn't even care they were crappy jobs. She liked my hustle.

I have found that my work experience is absolutely perfect for getting me jobs in the same industry I'm currently working. I could get them all day, every day, without much effort. Job hunting is taking forever because I'm looking for work outside my industry. Getting interviews are hard. Getting an actual job? ::Tsk:: I'm re-evaluating my strategy and am looking at either A) aiming my sights slightly lower and taking a massive pay cut to get entry level in a whole new industry and try to hustle to level up as quickly as possible or B) . . . maybe college. Maybe.

I've had conversations with multiple people lately that the only way they're gonna buy a house is if they get a duplex or a house with an inlaw suite. That way, they can rent out the other half for extra income, and still kind of have some privacy and not really resort to roommates. Dala and I have considered this option lightly.

From the stories I've heard from my friends, from guys and girls alike, the dating scene for everyone younger than me is full of frustration and disappointment. Everyone not only seems to want an amazing boyfriend/girlfriend, they all seem to want an amazing boyfriend/girlfriend with a reliable car, health insurance, and a place of their own. That didn't seem like a tall order when I was in my 20s, but for my friends in their 20s today that strikes me as kind of unreasonable. The fact that I find that unreasonable makes me feel pretty sad.

From your rich dad. Duh.