Landed a remote job offer that will keep me behind a computer (in my field I went to school for) and in the warmth of FL. Tomorrow is also the final round of interviews for a position requiring re-location waaaaay further north. I seem to be the only person in my world that wants to see where the latter one goes. It would mean travel, moving into management, and steering towards a career and sector I want. Almost am afraid to complete the final interview tomorrow. I KNOW I am the right fit. I KNOW I am what they are looking for. I also know it would be uprooting the life I have. I’ve been believing in myself that it would be the right choice if I did it. Beginning to question myself after hearing those around me breathe a sigh if relief landing the remote gig.
Just another 1/3 of a beer in the Pub for Cinco de Drinko? Nah. 
Pub's a bit quiet. I'll have a small hot sake, please. Life Updates Probably moving within the next two months. I'm on a research project until then, so job search had been put on hold. Given project/graduation/lease ends all on the same day, I'm moving some extras down to the 'rents this weekend. Entertainment Review I finished Death Parade last night. The show's short at 12 ep./20 min, sweet, and a hint of dark. The show's a take on how souls are judged upon death. If the first episode is watched without interest in continuing, then I encourage you to power through to the second. Episodes 1 and 2 really should have been combined into a long pilot. Premise: two souls without memory of dying enter a bar to play a game - darts, bowling, cards, etc. The bartender is a non-human who seeks to understand humans while judging the souls' behavior as the games progress (sometimes with distressing twists). Despite the 'heavy' setting, the show does a good job of not making pretentious, sweeping statements on the subject of death. In fact, writing does well to uphold life and living through au devours of others' memories in each episode. The final two episodes drive home the underlying conversations about life through one of the main character's persistent guests. In one of the few sequences that has made me tear up in a long while, no less. More on the topic of pretentiousness, the show feeds just enough information to hint at power structures and levels in the afterlife, but only enough to indicate to the viewer there is considerable thought behind the story without delving further or taking the focus too far from character development/revelation via unnecessary power struggles or blind-sided power creep. All-in-all, Death Parade is a nice drama-esque snacc. It only helps that the animation style is so clean, with a subtle flex of muscles here and there. Not to mention a slick OST. Check out this opening song: Catchy opening for an anime, eh? There was more to speak to in my eyes for how they approached 'judgement' through a dynamic between two people, rather than a dude with a dog head and a banana hammock weighing you against a feather. Erm... read as: 'It's just you, your life's worth and God now, Bucko' vs. expressing who we've become at our core. Moreover, is the core of who we are really that complex to start? Tangent Time Solo quarantine is a downer. I'm looking forward to the excuse to see family irl. Even if socially distanced. [Insert segue to moving possessions that ties into Death Parade and the following media excerpts] This panel from Sandman runs so ridiculously in-line to why Avatar Kyoshi from the Avatar: the Last Airbender universe lived for roughly 230 years. From The Rise of Kyoshi: “Sifu,” she drawled. “Oh, please, impart upon me the mysteries of immortality, for I wish to watch eras pass before my eyes like the grains of an hourglass.” “Of course!” Lao Ge said brightly. “Anything for my dear student. You see, it all comes down to maintaining order. Keeping things neat, clean, and tidy.” “Excuse me?” This was genuinely offensive to Kyoshi, as a former housekeeping servant. She’d let go of her standards for cleanliness the first morning outside of Yokoya, after waking up covered in Pengpeng’s shed fur. But with his drinking and aversion to changing clothes, Lao Ge toed the line of rancidity. What did he know about tidying up? “Aging is really just your body falling apart, on the smallest, most invisible levels, and neglecting to put itself back together,” he said. “With the right mental focus, you could take an inventory of your own body and place each little piece that’s not where it should be back into the correct order.” Kyoshi had to assume he was tailoring his lessons to her background and that the real process was much more complicated. “The way you describe it, you’d have to decide what version of yourself you’d be stuck as, forever.” “Exactly! Those who grow, live and die. The stagnant pool is immortal, while the clear flowing river dies an uncountable number of deaths.” “Is that another proverb of Shoken’s? Because it doesn’t sound like any spiritual lesson I’ve heard.” “It’s my proverb,” Lao Ge whined, his feelings hurt again. “All this fretting about spirits. I’m trying to teach you about the mind. An infinite world that’s been neglected by far too many explorers.” My follow up food for thought would be how to do this (holding on to 'little things' of you) without fossilizing. Anywho, here's to livening up the place around here. Quarantine plus extended not-interacting got me in old isolating habits for the worst. But it feels nice to word-vomit/type it out. Yeah, the U.S. is "re-opening" but FL broke its record for single-day covid19 spike in cases this past Saturday. Otherwise, a night out with the cohort would be a very welcome reprieve. I'm kinda amazed at the friend group I've made here. Take it from me in a post 112 days ago: I'm not looking forward to the prospect of moving to another city, knowing a good chunk are planning on staying here. Which is weird to me. You know for a long ass time I've been good moving about since I generally find detaching as my go-to. This town is actually a great size with residents that give quite a few fux about their home turf. In other words, it'd be a nice place to hang around longer, if only to have more bonding time with those I care about. Pooey. Food Speaking of pooey, here's what I've been cooking: Challah and Jam. Turns out jam is suuuuuper fast AND easy to make. Jam Recipe - I've never bought jam before. My mom always had store-bought around the house. I'm sure as hell not going to buy now, though. Maybe it's the insane amount of sugar needed for the recipe (spoiler: it is), but I'm making it for every bread baked here-after. Tip from a friend: put hot pepper seeds in the jam. The kick is a good twist. Pizza (and its dough) can be made from scratch in under 45 minutes. Pizza Dough Recipe - the story is a nice read for once, too. -- Not pictured b/c I ate it all just now: stuffed cabbage... oops. :-) Recipe. Only used as guidance for cabbage/stuffing prep. Sauce was what I had on-hand. Still came out great. Misc. There have been morning birds singing from 1 AM to 4 AM in the morning around here. It's disorientating. See y'all 'round, and don't forget to eat yer fruits 'n veggies.
First, she didn’t believe he was anywhere near as old as he claimed. And second, desperately grasping for more power and control over life was what people like Jianzhu did. Te too, probably.
3. Leaning on friends is nothing to be ashamed of. All of last semester I went out of my way to help the others in my classes. Not to network, but because I wanted to do grad school different than undergrad. After the second or third flop, I was invited out of the blue for dancing with my cohort. Was able to balance 'a good time' with venting, and was lent an air-mattress for a night over with a friend in the end. Been having movie nights after weekend labs on and off since.
AHHHH. (This is another relationship vent brought to you by kantos) 5 jars of your most fermented jam. Throw in the whole trash bag too, please. I'm my mind is numb from the level of face plant I just achieved. Proceed to have nice meal Gets to that moment of make a move or not Ask bluntly after a nice night if she's looking for a relationship "Not particularly" Land softly with a couple minutes of not awkward conversation Exit the girl Gonna ride out the feeling of the L for the duration of the evening. Then call friends in the morning to get back on the buck. Fortunate enough I can bounce back with a game plan, but damn that was rough. I'm taking a warm shower, and going to bed for a mental reset. Night hubs. o7 Invite girl over for dinner
Hit me with the baileys, barkeep. No one's walking in yet anyways. A month ago 'round this time I was contacted by a Rolling Stone reporter to get a scoop on a case study for her article on the rise of extremism alongside anti-Semitism in the States. She has a bit of material around the subject, so I'm interested to see where she ends up with in this iteration. For better, the case study includes foiled plans for hitting Turkey Point and causing only what comes of screwing with those types of plants with bombs. My independent project in GIS has shifted from a focus on ground source heat pumps to emergency services in the case of the former's aftermath. For worse, there isn't as much readily available information on the spread of radioactive material in the event of an attack. More likely the case, I'm not asking Google the right questions. So far I've been looking at emergency services protocol and manuals. Best nugget thus far is one of the US government agencies' site. Other than that bit, the academic finish line is close. Yay.
All-in-all, October could have been summed up last week, and this month has been a roller coaster. School I think we're finally back on the track with the academic schedule post-Irma. Forgot to mark in an exam date changed and had to make a spontaneous cram session of the week. Waiting on some grades back still, but so far, looks like it all paid off with the marks I got back. GIS is getting hype with the tools we are learning that allow us to meld, juxtapose, and format multiple data layers that end up in the output. Still impressed with the amount of land-use data we are using in examples so far, especially land parcels. I guess thats the nature of my professor's work, though. Romance Welp, the third date was fine at best, shaky at worst. Getting on and off ghosted is flat frustrating and not ok, though. I guess I expected the maturity to (1) let me know if something was wrong or (2) flat out say they weren't interested anymore. Dragging that on makes no sense to me, nor do I see a benefit for either one... Grateful to have a local community of people that show up for me and hold space - modeling that made it obvious to me I won't tolerate making excuses for the former. Square 1. Hello.
Looks like the place still filling out. A mojito please. Life is going swimmingly since the area's gotten back up and running. My favorite park is still flooded over, but that hopefully will dry up in the next few weeks. School Everything is pushed back due date wise, and classes are crammed in. For the most parr, everything benefits my learning since we're getting more take-home work. Also, I've gotten ahead of some classes. Aside from that, my time prepping for Irma at my 'rents house was spent looking for my old Astrodynamics notes which has hella overlap in my GIS, Astronomy, and Calc courses. On another note, thanks for the suggestions on the alternatives to caffiene. Been playing with a mix of them and seeing which I like more. Aside from that, the goal of getting to bed easier - not kept up by caffiene - is achieved. Also, this GIS stuff is dope. We're getting spoon fed how to use the program during lecture. With careful notes, its an easy way to pick up another skill. Ex: This map is in the works displaying how roads related to high population cities. The sheer amount of data available to us boggles my mind. The goal of the class is to learn how to make 'good maps' alongside learning geographic information systems/sciences. Relationships Slowly stratching off my 2017 goals. The amount of work on myself since my last intimate relationship (as much as a teenager's can be) felt it warranted putting myself out there in hopes of seeing how I show up for myself and others when engaged in something other than platonic partnerships. Funny enough, success was found on an app. I met someone my age who's very new to the area, and starting on her PhD. Hot damn. I don't think I'd say we hit it off, but apparently it was good enough to warrant another meet up. Honestly, I'm confused. This is a first where I can't say I have butterflies in my stomach or any crazy nerves. Granted, we just met, I'm surprised to note there isn't a rush or thrill of meeting like I'm used to. Is this normal? Does this mean I don't care as much? Or is this growth? I distinctly remember during my time learning relationship counseling that the harder people feel initially attracted, the most they have in common with regards to woundings. Maybe that's a part of it, and maybe that's good. Anyways, I've been getting some real real affirmative feedback from her, so looking forward to how the week plays out. The read of the situation is so natural and anti-thetical to the hook-up culture people my age are known for. It's actually nice. It compliments the lack of nerves, and makes for a solid foundation for an actual friendship if the next step isn't intimate. Who would have thought... pinging lil, OftenBen, and goobster. Curious on y'all's thoughts on nerves vs. not in dating. If you're willing to share. Life On the whole, in an alright place. Using my notepad to draw stronger emotions rather than journaling. That said, looking forward to the occasional rd95 "Creatives of Hubski" threads. It's the high holidays. I know there's a few Landsman here. L'Shanah Tova. Here's to an easy fast coming up. EDIT: Don't think I'm explicit enough, the reason I'm most confused with the situation is the affirmations I'm getting despite feeling I'm not doing anything extraordinary or at least what I'd think is the right thing. Leads me to think either something's amiss with how/why she's reacting like so. Or I'm just a flat out idiot. So much for a lack of nerves. Guess theres a way to think nervous without feeling it.