First, some levity in the form of owls. Owl cowl, and its big brother, the owl belly warmer. Happy with how these turned out ------------ Anyway, on to the bummer. One of my preschoolers' dad just died. She doesn't know yet. She's 3. He was 67. He is survived by his wife, 65, to whom he was married for one month, and with whom he raised a child for the past 6 months. They adopted her from an Ethiopian orphanage a little while back, and were shocked at the amount of work that goes into raising a child who doesn't speak english and has suffered various mental and physical traumas. Go figure. They're stupid hippies who got married with mood rings and I think I might have more contempt for them than just about anyone I have ever met. To bring a child halfway across the world into a home with people who don't speak your language (but insist that you love Bob Marley and P Funk) when you know goddamn well that it will be a miracle if both of you are alive when she's 20 is such an insanely short-sighted and, frankly, selfish act that I can barely begin to wrap my head around how they thought it might be a good, even virtuous thing to do. To adopt a child at age 67 when you have numerous pre-existing health conditions, no experience raising a child, and are living off of retirement savings is fucking insane, and every time I saw her father drop her off, I could see that realization dawning on him more and more. He has been in and out of the hospital for months, and the school's been watching her pro bono every day the past two weeks while he's been on life support. Her mom is a part time music teacher with no family to speak of, but at least she has a litany of like minded friends to help pick up the slack. I just can't deal with the fact that, probably within a decade or two, this girl is going to be an orphan twice over. I know that realistically the quality of life that she will likely have here is much better than it would have been as an orphan in Ethiopia, but this whole thing just feels... wrong. I can understand getting to your late 60s and wanting to give back, but this is not the fucking way. I pray that she doesn't end up in foster care, and that her mom stays alive until she's at least 18. She's the happiest kid I've ever met, and I'm gonna be a mess when I see her on monday. Also, I'm pretty content with the fact that none of these kids will remember me in a few years, but my heart is aching knowing that she's going to have basically no memories of the man who thought he could be her dad.
In a bit of a funk. I haven't recorded any music or made any clothes since I got my dog in August. I've been starting to write a lot of new music, but haven't been finishing much. I spend a decent chunk of time reading about new RPG systems now. Been quietly putting together a little homebrewed world, designing dungeons. I suck a little less at drawing now, will post pictures when I get home.
Cut it into teeny tiny squares, blend it to a pulp with some water, make the pulp into paper, bind it into a book, write down some feelings on it, burn the book, gather the ashes, bathe in the ashes, roll yourself on a sheet of butcher paper, bind THAT into a book, put it on a bookshelf, burn the house down, sleep in the ashes, become the ashes. Or, at least, that's one option.
THINGS I MADE THIS WEEK A guitar made from stuff I was planning on throwing out. I'm in the process of moving right now, which always makes me think about the stuff I've got and the stuff I want to get rid of. I'm trying to not throw anything away this time (except for, y'know, trash), and just repurpose as much stuff as I can. I've also started volunteering at a salvage shop that fixes up furniture / instruments / all kinds of weird goodies that people find at the dump. It's been nice to get my hands dirty, and I'll probably be getting most of my furniture for my new place from them. Cardboard self-portrait made on break at work. Thought it was fun.
MY MOM IS HERE so really a ton of stuff is making me smile. My boyfriend and I got as close as we could to a waterfall yesterday, and got our clothes completely soaked... an hour from home. Ended up buying the cheapest dry clothes we could from goodwill. Watched the sunset on the river from a brewery while playing scrabble with my mom. I won.
"Ms. Yates’s letter transforms the confirmation of Mr. Trump’s attorney general nominee, Mr. Sessions, into a referendum on the immigration order. Action in the Senate could come as early as Tuesday." Not sure how much merit there is in crossing fingers anymore, but here's hoping this somehow keeps Sessions out. In the meantime, if anyone here happens to live in Iowa, Utah, South Carolina, Texas, Nebraska, Arizona, Idaho, North Carolina, or Louisiana, please do this.
My sister and I made a GingerBauHaus this year. This is the first year that I made presents for my whole family, which is nice. Mom gets a bunch of new pillows, brother gets a vest, sister gets a skirt/blouse, dad gets a shirt. In about twelve hours, I'm going to be fairly drunk with my brother, watching Muppets' Christmas Carol. My gift to you all: I used to make a Christmas CD for my friends every year, here's the cover and track list for the best one I ever made, check it out for some lovely christmas tunes, which I'll add here as I find them. 1. A Very Lo-Fi Christmas 2. Santa Steinberg - Bacio 3. Harsh the Herald Angels Sing - CFTPA 4. Last Christmas - goto80 2. Comparing Ugly Sweaters 5. Lumberjack Christmas - Sufjan Stevens 6. Snowed in on Christmas - The New Anxiety 7. Undone, the Christmas Song - Windsor Park Walkers. 8. Carol of St. Benjamin the Bearded One - Sufjan Stevens 9. Christmas in July in December - The New Anxiety 10. Somewhere in my Memory, Home Alone Theme - Famikiller 3. Hennessy in my Egg Nog 11. Santa Baby - Run DMC feat. Snoop, Diddy, Salt & Pepa 12. Ghostface Christmas - Ghostface Killa 13. Grinch - Busta Rhymes / Jim Carrey Bonus: Christmas in Harlem, Kanye etc. 4. Jazz and Cocoa Unfortunately, most of the Jazz part of this comes from "Christmas from the Blue Note", which isn't available to stream anywhere. 16. Medley - Bela Fleck and the Flecktones 18. Christmas Time is Here - Woods 19. Christmas in Oakland - Advance Base 20. Barcarola, You Must be a Christmas Tree - Sufjan Stevens EDIT: AHH my parents just found the first "clothing" I ever made: A santa suit for my stuffed animal, "Lamby" when I was 8. 
And, additionally, one of them has the tremendous name "Dudley Dudley"
GOALS Music finish folk album start work on second album (math rock? cover album?) host 3 house shows Sewing by end of 2017, have the majority of my wardrobe be self-made. learn more about tailoring, teach classes for trans folx (or anyone, I guess) on how to tailor to fit their bodies. stretch goal make a gender non-conforming menswear pattern, publish it for free (this would be an insane amount of work) Other bike 1000 miles
My summer job is done, and I can actually relax, so it’s time for a big ol’ check-in on my summer. THE FUTURE I am moving to Chicago in the beginning of October. I had been a bit on the fence about my next move, but then one of the students this summer invited me to move into his open room while he goes to school abroad, and it just felt right. The only thing determining when I head out is the completion of my folk album, so I am just setting aside the rest of this month to write/rewrite songs, and spending all of September recording. I am really looking forward to being with my friends/family out there, and finally living in a city feels like it will be a good change of pace. I already have a job waiting tables lined up for me out there, and have some gigs at various venues lines up too. I am hoping to stay out in Chicago for at least a year, but we shall see. LOVE LIFE Good and not too complicated. Am in a happy open relationship with a girl from Providence, and have been seeing some older local friends very casually. SUMMER FEELINGS emoooooootioooooooons I have been running on empty for the past month. Most days have been at least 10 hours of some kind of work - cooking, cleaning, composing/performing music for the shows, building/striking stages, tending and fixing - and I feel like I was just doing what I needed to do to get to the next day most of the time. It was ultimately fairly fulfilling, but I am a bit disappointed that I didn't have any time to work on my own music. All in all, pretty good. MISC. More feelings/events exist, will update later.