Hey. I've been wanting to do a proper update for a while, but don't even know where to begin. This is not a fun story. It's been a remarkably shitty 6 months. Right around the time COVID became really serious, my wife had a major manic episode - something her doctor warned her about because of the antidepressant she was on, so we at least were able to recognize what was happening after the first 3 days of no sleep. My wife studied psychology in school, and knew what to look out for, even in her heightened state. We talked, and agreed to go to the nearest good hospital, and I was able to help and check her in. Due to COVID, I wasn't able to visit her while she was there, but I brought fresh clothes and books everyday. About 5 days into her stay there, I get a call at around 5 AM from my wife, telling me I need to come get her immediately because "they're trying to kill me". I had no idea what to do - I had gotten one call from her doctor early in the week telling me what meds she was on and that things were going well, but otherwise radio silence. I had no experience talking to someone who was experiencing hallucinations, and I just knew my wife sounded terrified and I reacted based on fear. I got in the car and started driving, and because she checked herself in voluntarily, she was able to leave. Things were OK at home for a few days, but got a lot worse very quickly. The symptoms of mania started ramping up, but my wife brushed them off as just a response to the trauma she went through at the hospital. Then she started going out driving. For 14 hours a day, every day. No texts, no responding to calls, no sign of where she was going. It became abundantly clear that she was still manic, and I started calling the hospital she went to, 5 or 6 times a day. I left messages, tried to reach her doctor, and never heard back. My wife was beginning to get aggressive, and very paranoid. I was later told that my wife was in a schizoaffective state, and was becoming increasingly detached from reality. I called in backup in the form of my Mother-in-law, who is a really remarkable woman - she is a pastor, and has seemingly endless compassion. After an especially nerve-wracking 18 hour driving session, my wife finally came home, and through some miracle was willing to go with my mother-in-law back to her house. Long story short, we tried and failed to care for my wife at home for 2 weeks as she became increasingly delusional, paranoid, and aggressive. Eventually, she finally crashed the car on her way to Maine to visit her abusive ex, who she was convinced was sending her telepathic messages. We found her at his house, high on shrooms and freaking the fuck out. Every conceivable local resource for emergency mental health care was shut down due to COVID, and literally the only option left was involuntary admission. It was the hardest decision I've ever made, but I was able to get my wife to get into the car with her mother and I, and we went to the hospital. As soon as she realized what was going on, she started freaking out. The rest is sort of a blur. I know we made it to the hospital, and there were police. The last time I saw my wife before the police told us to leave, they were surrounding her while she was hyperventilating on the floor. I remember they told her to calm down, or they would have to sedate and restrain her - shockingly, that didn't help. My wife was in the hospital for around 2 weeks this time, and was discharged and returned to her mother. She became VERY angry with me. We tried, again, to care for her at home, but she stopped attending the virtual outpatient program, and we weren't able to talk to any of her doctors because she had removed us from her contact list. She started missing the meds again, and quickly became disconnected from reality. Same paranoia, same delusions. It took us threatening to bring her to the hospital again for her to start complying, and even then it was shaky. During all this, I was still working as a full time teacher in VT. So I was driving the 2 hours to her mom's after work most nights, and driving back in the morning before teaching. Once the school year ended, I decided I couldn't do it anymore, and started getting ready to move back in with my parents. In the middle of all this were such joys as losing our insurance, my wife filing for divorce (not especially successfully, thankfully), and having one of my wife's friends trying to convince people online that we were gaslighting my wife and holding her hostage. Fun stuff, right? Things finally started settling down in August, after my wife found a new psychiatrist and a better medication. She finally started coming back to reality, and became stable again. She's still coming to terms with her Bipolar diagnosis, but she trusts the doctors she's been seeing. She just finished up her outpatient program last week, and finally seems like herself again. I am so thankful that she was able to get through all this, and so immensely proud that she has been so diligent about sticking to her meds. Things are far from normal still, but we are happy to be safe and relatively stable again. -------------------- Job hunting during COVID is pretty miserable. I've been working part time as a canvasser for a local State Rep, and have been sending out applications to 2-3 different employers a day. Despite having worked 4 different jobs for 2+ years, and having spent the last three years as a lead preschool teacher, I have not received a single call back from any of the places I have applied to. I started with schools, then daycares, and now I'm just trying to hear back from a fucking grocery store. I really don't know how much longer I can deal with this. The two places I haven't applied in town are an Amazon warehouse and weapons manufacturing plant, but I am really holding off as long as I can on those. -------------- The one positive of the past few months is, before I had to move back in with my parents in CT, I was starting to get involved in my local music scene in VT. I had a radio show that I was really proud of. I started making some music friends, and doing these improv synth shows. And I'm hoping that within a year or two I can move back up and try to pick up where I left off. I'm trying to make the most of where I am right now, but it's hard not to feel depressed here. But at least I've started meeting back up with an old friend of mine and making music every weekend. Hoping to record something soon, maybe. ------------------------------- I miss you guys, and I mostly haven't been active because I just don't know what to say. There's been so much weighing on me these past few months that I'm finding it really hard just to be a normal person. I hope everyone is faring well.
Married. More to follow after honeymoon.
Been busy as all hell the past two months. We're really understaffed at my preschool, and I'm running myself pretty ragged. They just cut our hours down to 30 hours a week, which I am actually pretty grateful for at the moment. I don't have to go in until 11:30 every day now, which finally gives me some time to work on things before I am completely exhausted at the end of the day. I've made it my goal to make some new music every day, and so far I've managed to keep up with that goal for the last two weeks or so. If you want to listen, you can check it out here. Pretty much all just ambient stuff, I've been going back to recording live on tape and slowing things down. I'm considering taking about an hour's worth of the best tracks here at the end of the month and printing a limited run of like 25 tapes. I also did some music for a friend's short movie recently, which just came out this weekend: And last, here's something I'm really proud of that I made for the preschoolers when we were talking about robots: It's a light/touch sensitive synthesizer thingamajig! LDRs for the eyes, and custom-made PCB touchplates on the sides. The kids had a blast exploring this. Hope all the Hubskiers are having a good start to 2020 2.0!
Allow me, if you will, to nerd out for a minute. I hunkered down this long weekend with "Handmade Electronic Music by Nicolas Collins" and HOOOOOLY MOOOOOOLEY did I have fun. Can't recommend this book enough for anyone who likes tinkering. I especially loved the section on 40106 chip oscillator circuits. It's insane to me how expressive such a simple circuit can be. Just got some cheapo solar panels yesterday, planning on making some audio automatons this weekend. Here's my attempt at making a "digital fire" by making a bunch of lfo-rate oscillators, controlled by photosensitive resistors, and playing them through Piezo pickups taped to pieces of wood: And here's a track I made last night using the circuit pictured and a couple FX: I am absolutely blown away by this shit. This would have made my gig scoring a horror movie a few years back infinitely easier! And all for like $2 worth of materials (ignoring the effects, all of which could pretty easily be emulated using free VST plugins or a Pi running Pure Data). No programming, no automating effects in my DAW, just putting my hand in front of a flashlight for a few minutes and seeing what happens. If anyone's interested in the specifics of that track: Two oscillator voices, both running into separate FX units on my Koma Field Kit FX. The first one is run into a frequency shifter which changes frequency every second or so, the other run into a resonant band pass filter. Both run together into a ping pong delay and harmonizer (set to a perfect fifth) on my Raspberry Pi. The circuit is powered by a 5V solar panel, which in turn is powered by the flashlight in that picture. When it receives full power, you hear a little rhythmic "ping" sound. When I cover it partially, the circuit is "starved" and starts making the whiny rumbling sounds. goobster I definitely recommend checking out that book if you're ever looking to play around with your own custom synthesizers! It's very clearly explained, and assumes no prior understanding of electronics. It's all geared towards tinkering and exploration rather than mastery, and I've found it incredibly fun to work through.
I finally finished my horrible preschool job a few weeks ago, and jesus christ I didn't realize what a number that job had been doing on my body/psyche until I was out of it. It's nice not being on edge and full of tension all day, or collapsing into a ball and sleeping for 12 hours every night. Barring an act of god, I'm never teaching preschool again. I love teaching, and I love kids, but it just isn't worth it. I have a job teaching music over the summer, which I'm really excited about, and I hope it'll pave the way for future jobs. And I have a month or so of downtime before then, which I am using to actually deal with a lot of the problems which have been accumulating the past year. Found a therapist, started meditating every day, and I'm making time for music again. I spend an hour a day practicing piano, and another hour practicing improvising and songwriting. I'm hoping to put together some videos on the games / techniques I use to get me out of my creative blocks, because I think they might be really useful to other people who are stuck. I also realized how much of my creative block was rooted in a more general emotional block - it's kind of incredible how much easier it is to make music you like when you are actually able to emotionally connect to it again. Music is just flowing out of me naturally again, and it feels great. Here's a couple tracks I put together this past week to submit to a little beatmaking contest: Especially pleased with the first one. I think I am going to try and record an EP or Album of summery, funky tunes to release by around June.
Engaged.
Name: flac, Brendan, etc. Location: VT Age: 24 Still here, just lurking. I've been keeping very busy; I work full time as a teacher in a little radical school in the woods (which all the teachers just finished building a yurt for), I've been finishing up writing a folk EP, I've been learning the harp. I've been planning a wedding, helping plan this summer's plays/plans, working on a garden and building a geodesic dome greenhouse. I've become obsessed with 3D printing since finally buying a printer in December. I've started designing/printing some little modular wall art pieces to sell, and am just waiting until I've printed enough to start selling. Expect me to shamelessly plug an Etsy imminently. Some samples: Glow in the dark moon phases. assorted nerd shit. I've also been playing an insane amount of the new Super Smash Bros. game - PM me for my friend code if you wanna catch these hands. Also, as of today, I am finally a licensed driver. EDIT: Also, PM me if you want the Tinkercad files for any of the above wall art, gratis for my hubskifolx
https://clyp.it/usexn1kh?token=6b246bf67f75305854b843d44de20023 I'm gearing up for a move myself, felt inspired to write about it and lay down some really quick vocal tracks. Might re-record later [EDIT: I have, indeed, re-recorded the vocals. Much happier]. I sped the tempo up to 145 and pitched it up so it's in the key of F major. I'm missing you Hubski folks - my life has been really crazy the past few months, but I'm hoping things will settle down again soon. Expect to see me in a pubski soon... LYRICS: A new start, carried in cardboard piled up on the stairs we packed up all the sins we could bear Oh, we're starting to ache bags are starting to tear OK, I guess we'll leave 'em right there You thought you heard a ghost You swore you saw her T-shirts from all the old concerts stuffed into a drawer we never have the time anymore Too tired to set up the bedframe we'll sleep on the floor and talk all night like we did before We felt like we were kids We felt like having... How long 'til I can say this is where I'm from? How will I know when my real life has begun? Where will my ghost haunt? Where will my ghost haunt?
I've been (non-COVID) sick for about 5 or 6 days now. I think it's just the standard flu, been incredibly tired and out of it. Possibly returning to work tomorrow. I've been staying busy by fiddling with electronics some more. I got my 3D printer up and running again, and have been making some odd devices. Here's a prototype of an idea I've had knocking around for a few weeks - a solar powered synth, with a build-in piezo disc speaker, to use as a tool for measuring/interacting with sunlight. Right now, I'm really missing my old job teaching in the woods, and am really bummed out by my current school's very small concrete and astro-turf playground. There's no sense of change to it, it's exactly the same every time we visit. So I want to make some devices that kids can use to explore the changes in natural forces in some fun and unique ways, and this is the first idea I came up with. After I fine-tune this, I want to make some sort of wind harps. Still trying to think of a good rain-instrument (maybe a drum of some kind?). I have a ton of these little squares of wood left over from my wedding (I made coasters as party favors), and they happen to fit the solar panels I have beautifully, so I'm using them as my basic unit of measurement in designs. I think this box's design is a bit too deep, especially for little hands. There's two oscillator voices in this device - one is wired up to the output jack on the back, and is controlled by the knob (the sound is SUPER gnarly). The other one, wired to the built-in speaker, has a fixed frequency, but is only activated if you complete the circuit by touching both copper plates. It sounds like an angry bird to me, which I like. I might have the pitch mapped to an LDR in my next iteration. These are <$5 in materials, and take maybe 45 minutes to wire up. I'm going to send some to musical friends to play around with. I also made an Electromagnetic Mic out of an old solenoid I had lying around - here's me playing my hair clippers like a didgeridoo: EDIT: Just made another sunbox. 4 voices, always playing, pitch controlled by LDRs. I call it the "very angry box" for reasons which I think will be clear upon listening. Might re-make this with different capacitors, wonder if I can make it actually melodic in some way.
Hello, comrades - it's been some time! My first year of teaching at an actual school is officially over, having trained the summer teacher yesterday. Despite some helicopter parents and challenging kids, it was a really rewarding (if unbelievably exhausting year). My summer break starts today, and boy oh boy do I have some stuff to take care of - a preposterous amount of music has been on the back-burner all year, hopefully going to put out at least an EP of some kind by the end of the summer, with any luck there'll be more. Anyone interested in a collaboration? :D Also have a lot of work to get ready for my wedding, which is in just over a month (August 10th!). I am going to a fabric store today to find something (preferably in charcoal grey) to make a suit out of. I have silver coming in the mail soon to make the wedding rings out of. A harpist friend of mine is playing during the ceremony, and I am working on finishing writing some pieces for her to play throughout. Some things I have been enjoying: Bullshit Jobs by David Graeber Jerusalem by Alan Moore The Black Hack Second Edition The Quiet Year My ongoing music backlog After finally fixing some issues my 3d printer has been having for the past few months, I am hoping to possibly get production on little art pieces to sell underway sometime this summer too. I'm finishing up writing a simple code in p5.js to make generative designs, and am working on some original designs as well. Things are good, and it's nice to have some time to breathe before getting back into the school year. I hope everyone here is doing well, you should be seeing more of me (until september, at least!)
Wedding in one month. Finally locked down music for the reception. Decided to make something for party favors, got myself a cheap woodburner and made some coasters. 150 of them. In one sitting. Been messing around with some of the extra wood, too.
lol
Y'all. The wedding suit is DONE (almost). Still needs doing: strap for the vest, slip-stitching on vest/jacket/pants, sleeve buttons for jacket, hem for pants, lots of cleaning up (unfortunately, there are some small iron burns on the lapels of the jacket which I'm trying to figure out how to deal with). This was the biggest sewing project I've undertaken, and I am generally really pleased with how it turned out. The suit fit me really poorly as-is because I am pretty lanky and fall in-between two sizes, so I had to do a lot of alterations, and still might do some more here and there. Unfortunately, this was after I had already bound the seams of the jacket with bias tape, so the insides of the jacket are not as clean as I would like. The suit is made of a linen, which was fucking HORRIBLE to work with because of how much it stretched and shrunk throughout the process. All told, it took three days to sew - one for the vest, one for the pants, one for the jacket. This was my first time making any of these patterns, so there was lots of learning to do. T-Minus 17 days til the wedding. Still need to make rings, but that can wait another day.
I'm really hoping this will be my last year teaching preschool. I'm stretched way too goddamn thin at this center I'm at. I'm at school 8-5 every day, teaching 15 kids, 4 of whom are on the Autism spectrum and qualify for services (but aren't receiving them due to COVID). We stay in one room all day, and maybe if it's sunny and over 40° we go outside for a max of 30 minutes a day. It's fucking depressing, and I have no power to change things because almost all aspects of the day are determined by corporate. It's incredibly frustrating knowing what small changes would make a huge difference for these kids and being unable to actually implement them. After years of having a vague notion of wanting to teach music at some point, I finally looked into what goes into getting licensed in various places, and it turns out VT has a pretty solid alternative peer review based licensing program. I'm making it my goal to put together a teaching portfolio and pass the Praxis teaching tests by the summer so I can get licensed for the upcoming school year and get the fuck out of CT, and out of the "childcare solutions" racket.
I MADE SOME SHIT, Y'ALL First of all, my first sweater is done! Really happy with how it turned out, just a smidge short, but that's okay. Already started another sweater, because I'm crazy. Also, I started painting stuff this weekend. I've never really been good at or liked drawing/painting, but I've been toying with some isometric stuff for the past few weeks, which has been fun. I'm making about 1 room a day, might connect them, might not. First one: (The dog is named Sammy) Not quite as cleanly executed as I'd like, but I like the design of this room. Might make it again sometime. WIP of the current one.
Made my girlfriend a birthday dress. Apart from the mockup I made, it's the first dress I've made before. I made the mistake of buying a cheap pattern with weird sizing issues, so I had to do a lot of alterations, both to the pattern and to the final product. I drafted a bodice block so that doesn't happen again... In action. Inaction. The back. Still left to do: add a small clasp at the top of the back, make a hem, do some slipstitching. Happy with the overall dress, just need to take more time getting the size right beforehand. Also, the ring is done. Proposal imminent. Married folks of Hubski, how did you propose?
My sister's working on directing a play aboust angsty lovestruck teens set in the late 90's, and asked my to put together a playlist of possible music cues. Been digging through lots of indie and early emo this past week, which has been fun. Here's what I've got so far.
Christ almighty this election is taking a toll on me. On the plus side, the state Rep. I canvassed for this fall, who was one of the deciding votes on my state's police accountability bill, looks poised to win his re-election. In other news, things have been a bit less dour since my last update. My wife is still doing well, and got to spend some time with her brother when he came out to visit for a few weeks. I had a blast seeing him too - I taught him the basics of recording 7 or 8 years ago, and he's still going strong. Made some beats together while he was out, which was nice. I'm currently in the middle of job training for my new job, which starts in earnest next week. Pretty mixed feelings about going back to working childcare during a pandemic, but I am really looking forward to consistent insurance coverage again.
Thank you mk - I'm always happy to come back to this lovely place you've made. I am incredibly grateful that I am easily distractable by my many hobbies. Been learning trumpet the past few months - it's been really useful to have some clear benchmarks of "getting better through hard work and routine", and being able to reach a new part of the harmonic series every few weeks of practicing has been good for my mental health, in a weird way.
SHIT'S POPPIN' I have a temp job that fulfills almost all the requirements I was looking for last week - consistent schedule, paid breaks, near where I live, reasonable pay, and a place to sit, if I want to. It's warehouse work, and I'm pretty good at it. But more importantly, I got an interview for that job I really fucking wanted. The one over here, the one I thought I was unqualified for. I requested to be the first interview of the day, and they have about 10 other people they're considering for the job. I don't own a jacket. I don't own a white shirt - though I think I may make one tonight after work. I'm really nervous, but I feel good about the possibility of working a job that I both like and think is important. ---------- Also, the album is unfortunately not coming out on the 15th. Job hunting has been an all-consuming affair. Sometime this month, though. EDIT: Interview went well! They're doing a second set of interviews next week, should be hearing back this weekend about whether they want me to come in again.
I wasn't really prepared for the emotional toll that leaving all these preschoolers was going to have on me. I still have a few more days teaching, but I've told the kids I'm leaving and they are... not pleased, to say the least. The hardest one has been a 3 year old kid named Ian, who's been at the school since it opened. I babysit him sometimes, because his family's a mess. His parents just finalized a divorce, his brother bullies him all the time, etc. When I was babysitting him yesterday, I told him that I'm leaving soon, but we still have time to play at the school a few more times. His exact response was: big tears "BUT YOU'RE MY BEST GROWN UP" Starts running away from me in the Fred Meyers food court Once I caught him, which thankfully didn't take long, he told me that it's okay I'm moving, because soon he's just going to get a jet, and use that jet to bring me and my family to live at his house. So, there's that.
swedishbadgergirl I read "Every Heart a Doorway" not too long ago either, I thought it was a fairly interesting read. Not a tremendous fan of the dialogue, but I agree that the concept is really engaging. Ended up listening to one of the follow-ups as well, which was about the same quality. I am in the middle of about half a dozen books, as always. NON-FICTION: I feel like I'm reading way too much nonfiction at the moment. I'm putting together resources for some possible future video-essays on music criticism and theory, so I'm knee-deep in academia at the moment. Segregating Sound by Karl Hagstrom Miller - A deep dive into the formation of folk/country/"race" music in the early 20th century. Unique amongst several other academic looks at "folk" music in that it views corporate "Pop" music as equally important, and not separate, in the formation of cultural canons. Kinda dry. Musicking by Christopher Small - I read this in college, and am revisiting it now. Very readable, it's mainly concerned with a radical broadening of how we define music as a process, rather than a text. Hand's End by David Rothenberg - A book I desperately want to enjoy. It looks at technology as not separate from our engagement with nature, but a vital part of our process of understanding nature. Techno-ecology. Pretty dry. Zeroes and Ones by Sadie Plant - a really enjoyable (for me at least) look at the history of women in computing. Brings in a lot of different disciplines. You can pretty easily find it for free online too... FICTION: Jerusalem by Alan Moore - Why do I torture myself? This book is awesome, but Christ, is it long and difficult to grok.
SHIRTS, Y'ALL Oh man, this week has some real bold moves. I feel like I am now post-taste, I can't even tell when I'm making insane things anymore. Pictured here: the best my hair has ever looked, and a flannel dinosaur shirt. The fabric is all black and white, but I had the idea of buying some fabric markers and treating it like a coloring book. I plan on carrying around the markers with me when I wear it so that other people can fill in a dinosaur if they want. Horrible horrible quality, but here's a picture pre-washing. Picture one is after the first wash, the colors become a bit more muted and pastel. "You're not actually going to wear that in public, right?" - My Mom, 2k16. Birds and flowers and flowers and birds. Did some fitting after I took this picture. --- It now takes me about 2 hours and 1.75 yards of fabric to make a short sleeve shirt, which is pretty exciting. I will probably be making a new shirt every other day until I leave, which leads me to: Leaving for Portland in 15 days! I am very excited. EDIT: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been giving me support and advice, I really do appreciate it. Thank you for finding value in my work.
Things I tell preschoolers every day that I would like to tell grown-ups: You need to use your words if you want something. I want to help you, but I only can if I know what you need. Sometimes, you should just walk away if someone keeps causing you problems. Sometimes, you staying around them is part of the problem. Ask before touching - people and things. Worry about whether you're following the rules, not about if other people are. If everyone does that, it'll be ok. The flowers are for everyone, not just you. Please let them grow. EDIT: If you play with the water, you're going to get wet. If you don't want to get wet, don't play with the water. (They never listen to this one.).
Gainfully employed and moving to Vermont in a week. Teaching music at a K-8 school in the woods, pretty much the dream job. On the music front: I'm within spitting distance of finishing the score for my friend's movie. Here are some tracks that somewhat make sense on their own.
Hey. Something sad happened this weekend.. In the grand scheme of things, this building doesn't mean that much - it hasn't been a functioning theater for a few decades, and was close to falling down on its own anyway. I grew up right next door to it, and played in the park outside it every day. I threw rocks at it in middle school, broke into it in high school, and helped try to fix it in college. I spent weekends painting walls that were falling in on themselves, cataloging moldy costumes, laminating old playbills. My family has run a theater program the last 5 years on the grounds of the theater, and have been trying to get the place opened up again, at least so people can see inside of it. They've had some success - we did a play last summer on the balcony of the theater, and opened it up for tours for the local schools. They both work full time jobs and put all their spare time and money into this program. They've gone to every town meeting for 5 years to try and get any support they can, with very little luck. They stayed up all night to watch the fire, because what else can you do? ----- I used to sneak out of my bed and sit on the roof with my brother when I was a kid so we could hear the shows they did on summer nights. We couldn't see anything through the trees, but we could hear the words, and my brothers tried to explain what was going on. I was planning in getting married in the park. Just ordered invitations, too. Going to visit the wreckage this weekend and make some decisions. Anyways, here's a song I wrote. PS: the kicker is that at the last town meeting, people were talking about how now they could finally build condos there.
Dala, some knitting. A hat, made with this pattern. Probably the most complex knitting I've done so far. Some fingerknit leg warmers. Half a scarf. Brioche knit. --------------------------- I've started working 35 hours a week at the preschool. That is too long. 9 hours today, 13 kids. --------------------------- I'm 23 today.
Thus, my first game of Diplomacy ends victoriously (I'm Turkey, the yellow one). All it took was a few weeks of treachery and subterfuge... GG to: mk, Quatrarius, spencerflem, nowaypablo, zebra2, and wasoxygen. May we fight again soon.
I'm motivated, y'all I'm feeling a ton more confident than I was yesterday when I put up this post, due in very large part to all the helpful advice and perspective. I'm going to bike over to the place I applied to yesterday to turn in my resume in person. I'm also going to spend today finding at least 2 other places to apply to, and spend every one of my days off doing the same thing until I get an interview somewhere I like. We're gonna turn this mother out. ------- My album is going to be out on April 15th. I needed an arbitrary deadline, and this is my Mom's birthday. It's so fucking close to being done, and I'm never going to finish it if I don't have a date. I'm going to master it myself, and if it sucks it sucks. It's going to be the first music I've charged for. $5. ---------- I'm sewing again. A shirt I made my bf for his birthday. Yes, it glows in the dark. It's also got some hand-embroidered stars around the collar that are kind of hard to see. 90% done with this, just need to hem. Unbelievably cozy. For anyone interested: this is the month that I actually open up an Etsy shop. Get hype. --------- A story to make you feel things I went to Lan Su yesterday, which was absolutely stunning. In one section of it, they had set up a Qingming display, where patrons could honor the deceased with written notes. Lots of beautiful little remembrances to lost parents, pets, stuff like "I hope that you are happy in heaven, Dad" etc. And then, this. Which destroyed me. I seem to actually be feeling emotions these days, which is a nice (if draining) change of pace. EDIT: Uh, accidentally made some sweet fuckin' glitch art when I was editing it.
Thank you - if incremental progress is the best I get, I will gladly take it!