I'm feeling both fortunate and stressed lately; I've been far over-stretching myself at work because I'm stuck in this mindset that it's irresponsible to say no to work in this climate yet I think I have to. I'm barely keeping up with my social and business obligations as is. IDK how people do it - I have to work so much to stay afloat; yet by the time I'm done for the day I've no energy to actually go experience life with my fianceé outside of just chilling out leaving my feeling guilty. By the time the weekend comes I'm wanting nothing more than a day of doing nothing. But it's not all bad! I'm finally making enough to not be exhausting my savings, I'm living with the love of my life and my best friend, my work is looking like it's really going to pay off if I keep at it; I'm loving every part of it except for the actual day-to-day grind of it all.
As Perseverance is seeking signs of (ancient) microbial life, how would you all react if such a discovery actually came through? I'm personally a bit of a doubter that life will ever be found elsewhere, so such a finding would floor me. In my mind, if we find signs of life beyond Earth, we're doomed. That's when all the implications of the Fermi paradox become real to me - it might actually be the scariest news I could hear up there with imminent nuclear war.
Also I found a sticker in the wild! This was outside Dooky Chase in New Orleans while waiting in line for forever. (Actually this was 2017 but I never shared)
It might have actually been Millie Mae's, I have them linked in my mind since it's been a while.
Always sad watching a project I love come to a close but it seems they were ready to be done and move on after more than my 25-year life so far. I’m imagining they’re sharing the same mix of sadness and excitement for what’s to come as I am (but probably a bit more ;))
I think we’re at a pretty similar spot here, I really do think there’s other life out there- just that it seems so unlikely we’ll find it it’s effectively not there at all, at least in a human timescale. Which is why finding it at close as Mars would be pretty devastating in my mind. Of course, finding microbes or something wouldn’t have to mean imminent death, I would just be much more nervous. I think most calculations there are at least a couple of orders of magnitude off. Doing some rough napkin math, over the course of the 3.5 billion years we’ve had 1 (2 if you’d want to include Neanderthals maybe) gain enough intelligence for my arbitrary definition to include them as “intelligent”. One could maybe argue some of the smarter animals should be included but I don’t think it’s going to affect the math much. If a species is a “type” of life form, then there’s 8.7M now, or about 8.7B ever if the internet isn’t lying to me. Sticking with the million to be safe, we’re at about 2/8.7M or 2.229e5% every 3.5B years if I’m doing that right. Then we’re the only example of intelligent life we know of to even dabble in space exploration and communication, so I’m not sure how to estimate that part - on one hand it’s hard for me to imagine intelligent life not staring at the stars and reaching out for them, on the other hand I’m stuck in my human existence and probably wouldn’t understand what a different intelligent life form’s existence is like if I had one sitting in front of me explaining. It might be unlikely even at cosmic scales, or it might be near 100%
The stream playing in the background while watching the simulation is a nice experience.
Even though I'm not involved in this directly, I want to point out how cool I think it is that this post exists. As a newer member it's amazing to have stumbled across such a great community. Hubski is something special. Thanks everyone who was here before me for cultivating this experience!
At some point today the clock will roll over and it will mark my first year on Hubski. I even remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I discovered Hubski. I was with my parents in Chicago visiting my brother (who has since set sail) while he was wrapping up his Navy education. I was screwing around on snapchat exchanging goofy pictures with my best friend / roommate / person I was developing uncomfortable feelings for (now none of those things) while sitting on a bench in a store, waiting for my mom to wrap up. In between pictures I'd browse reddit, where at the time everything seemed to be falling apart. On a list of 'reddit alternatives' was Hubski, a place I now know to be so much more than that. It's so crazy to me to think about who I was a year ago. In that time I've: - Moved twice - Put a pause on college to work full time - Dropped the mask I put on in college; I'm way more comfortable with who I am now - Acknowledged (some of) my faults - and the redeeming parts of myself - Switched to a different job with a boss I'm actually friends with - Shifted politically - Developed spiritually - Rekindled relationships with old friends & brought new ones into the fold - Put an end other relationships I identified as unhealthy for me I've been feeling like I've been growing stagnant, but looking back I've actually changed a ton in the past year. Must be all about perception. I wonder who I'll be a year from now.
This ended up being huge, but it felt good to write and like a waste to throw away. The TL;DR is that I turned 21, went to a wedding. Met a girl there and I'm not sure why she's still on my mind. ----- I turned 21 this past weekend. It happened to line up with the day before one of our close family friend's wedding, which is actually a pretty convenient time for me since everyone was already in the spirit of buying drinks (+ I'm not really huge on having a day of people focusing on me, so having something bigger going on while still getting acknowledged was the right amount of attention). I got really political the first night, and kinda wish I didn't. I drunkenly parodied the alt-right to one of the grooms' dad who is a serious Trump supporter, and got taken seriously. I was a bit drunk at that point and realized I was being a bit of a dick. If he found out I was mocking those views, I thought it would be hurtful so I kept up the charade for the rest of the weekend around him. We later went out to this club, The Library, it was pretty nice. People kept buying me shots and I kept taking them. At some point an older (not old, just the age I think of as an "Adult" - 40-50?) person egged me on with different topics. This time I took stances I actually hold which I don't think was welcome in that crowd. It ended when he grabbed both of my shoulders dragged me in and screamed into my face "YOU'RE WRONG." We bought each other a beer the next day and pretended like nothing happened, so I think things are fine. The wedding was the next day at the TCU chapel. The other groom's parents refused to attend. Seeing the our friends' family as they walked their son down the aisle while immediately followed by their now son in law being escorted by his aunt and uncle induced some pretty complex emotions in me. First sadness at the thought of the parents' abandonment of their relationship, then anger over the same thing, then anger over their taking away from the moment, then back to happiness in seeing that he IS loved, just by other people than his parents. Finally the reception. Way better when you can actually drink. Hit it off with a girl a couple months younger than me. Snuck her drinks from the bar which she seemed to appreciate (her mom didn't seem thrilled with it when she saw her drinking though, felt a little conflicted about that). We talked all night through the reception. We both like alternative music, which I guess was a big deal to her because no one else in Nebraska does. I asked her to dance and was secretly relieved when she said "when they stop playing bad music" since I don't really like dancing in a crowd to pop music and I wasn't really sure what I was going to do when we got to the floor. She later grabbed my hand and walked me over to where people were smoking cigars (allegedly Cuban). Someone handed me a cigar and all I could focus on was how wet the tip was. I took a couple puffs, made up something about how bold and great the flavor is and handed it back. Stood there for a bit and talked about life & how great people are. The same girl grabbed my hand again after a bit, and took me to the dance floor - I guess the music was okay now. We're dancing to wedding reception music and I'm doing okay. Not good, but acceptable. I have really long limbs and I'm just never sure what to do with them while I dance. Then a dance circle opens up. I'm again led over, and eventually in - which is not exactly the place I want to be. I freeze up a bit and then back out and I'm cringing writing this. I'm sure it wasn't that bad in reality. I should just learn how to dance and then none of this would be an issue. The girl's mom was with her for the rest of the night after this, I think she finally put her foot down about her daughter drinking (which is fine, not a judgement - just made me feel like I shouldn't be around). Around this time we saw the grooms off and everyone went to a piano bar, and then back to the club from the night before. I stayed back, exhausted and about as drunk as I wanted to be. The girl and I didn't trade numbers, but she did ask for my Snapchat & I added her back which is almost the same thing (it's not). I don't think I'll reach out, not sure anything further is what I want. The real question for me is, why is she still on my mind? I've had girlfriends & actual relationships I haven't felt the need to write about, yet this girl and that experience is still on my mind, even though nothing actually happened. This turned into a mountain and if you read this whole thing, you're awesome, and if you didn't, no judgements. I know I'd probably skim over it.
I think you're being too hard on yourself. You did a good thing and should reward yourself for that! You are absolutely worthy and deserving of celebrating the good things you do. Plus - you already bought the cake, why not treat yourself if it's just going to sit in the fridge?
I thought I'd take a break from all the serious books I've been reading so I picked up Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I'm just over halfway through so far and it's been an absolute pleasure to read. I'm probably the last person on Hubski to read it, but if you haven't, do yourself a huge favor and pick it up!
My favorite posts are those where users share their experiences, bonus points if there's something to learn. #sellingwithtng was probably my favorite series of posts.
Thank you mk. I hope to meet some of y'all and post a picture by day 3000. If anyone's ever near KC, let's grab a drink!
I was born Catholic and confirmed Methodist. I wanted and tried really hard to believe. If there were a switch I could flip to make it so, I would definitely consider it. There had always been some sort of doubt in my mind, but I always pushed it back and maintained the illusion of the genuine believer. I would parrot and mime and try to convince the community around me that I believed just as much as they did, thinking that if I could convince them I could convince myself. I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I started having doubts. I remember being in physical pain at the thought of God not existing. My mind was racing, heart pounding, and no one I felt comfortable talking about the possibility of God not existing with. Once I started to calm down, I had the thought that if God doesn't exist than he never existed and I'm not really losing anything. Writing it down now, it seems pretty invalidating to my past religious experiences and probably isn't sound logic, but it helped me at the time. From time to time, especially when things turn south, I find myself wishing I had something to believe in. However, I've found that I'm no longer comfortable with the idea of an all-powerful, authoritarian god. I've looked into a number of other religions to try and find something that I mesh with. In the end I've settled on something that is my own. I believe in a connectedness of all living beings in that we're all sharing the experience of life. I think that the 'spirit' lies in the consciousness, as because of that the consciousness is something to be explored with techniques like meditation and mindfulness. As far as literal spirits go though, I have trouble accepting them. This was a bit of a ramble, I hope there's something useful in here that can help you out. If nothing else, it was at least good for me to type out! I hope you find your truth.
I'll be standing witness in August for a close call with a sick man I had back in November. Thanks for posting this, I was getting kind of nervous about having to testify, but I'm feeling a bit less so after hearing your version. I testified at a preliminary trial for this case a few months ago and I don't think I did too great of a job. I walked away thinking there were a lot of details I didn't get out that I should have and felt pretty bad for not being able to identify the guy. At the time I didn't beat myself up too much about it but now the more I think about it the more I feel for the real victims of this guy. I'm going to do a better job this time around of helping with the case against this guy so the actual victims of this guy can hopefully rest a little bit easier knowing he's put away. Anyway - great post, I'm thoroughly enjoying #adayinthelife, I might have to do my own with my own experience!
I've had a similar train of thought when it comes to self improvement. Take fitness for example, I've come to accept that on some level I just don't want to go through the process to become fit. If I genuinely wanted to become fit I would have no problem doing the research to come up with a diet + exercise plan that meets my needs and I'd stick to it. But because I don't stick to it when I come up with a plan, that must mean that I want leisure more than I want to go through the work it takes to become fit. Maybe I want to already be fit, but I don't want to become fit. There was a piece of r/getmotivated style advice that made its rounds a while back that said something along the lines of "Replace the phrases 'I don't want to...', 'I don't have time to...' etc with 'It's not a priority for me to...'" I've found it to be a bit shallow like most of those little motivational catchphrases end up being when applied as a life strategy. However, I do think it's useful for a quick perspective change. Do you really want the things you say you want? To bring it back to your post, the notion of there being an internal and external set of priorities resonates with me. I think it should be a goal to make them line up as much as possible. The question is how?
Awesome, can't wait to check out features as they roll in! I'm also a developer with way too much free time, anything I can do to help out?
Good, I'm not alone then. Carry this information to your grave.
Not Politics Everything feels very new lately. I've thought a bit about how to describe it and I think that's the way that captures the feeling the best. Though nothing huge has changed in my day to day habits, I've been filled with a sense of novelty about life as of late. Take work for example, despite that I've been going in 5 days a week 8 hours a day working on largely the same ongoing projects for the past however long, something about it feels less like a routine and more like something that I choose to do every day. This is a huge contrast to the way I've felt in the past where I felt time slipping by by the week and would be filled with a sense of dread. Rather than question it, I think I'll just savor the feeling for as long as it stays. Politics I've recovered from my Trump-shock that is evident in my last pubski post and returned to my default state of being Trump cynical. I seem to be on the opposite schedule as everyone; for the couple days following the election I was desperately grasping at silver linings, thinking things like "I hope he does actually 'drain the swamp'" (though of course now that I've seen who will be replacing the swamp 'monsters', this scares me) or that my family and I will be fine as we're not part of any of the groups that will be targeted by policy (true but this line of thought leaves a bad taste in my mouth). I think the worst thing in my personal life with this is that the common political ground I thought I found with my family has disappeared since the election. This was the first election where the rest of my family didn't vote for the Republican candidate; it was nice being able to root for the same candidate in the debates & not have to sit there quietly and grit my teeth while the rest of the room spews hate at the TV directed at the person I secretly want to win. Of course we weren't always going to be on the same page but it was nice to not be a political outsider for once. They've all admitted since that they like his platform, just not his personality.
That's where I was leaning. The only possible explanation.
I found myself using the `!g` shortcut often enough after I switched that it didn't feel like I was getting enough of the privacy benefits to bother sticking with DDG. As concerned as I am of Google's knowledge of me, I have to admit that they're good at showing me what I want to see.
I've had a weird couple of weeks. Though nothing's changed in the past while, I've felt noticeably disconnected from the passing of time. I enjoy my work, though I took on extra that I probably shouldn't have, and my routine, but it's all blending together. It feels like I'm stuck in my routine wake up, go to work, come home, play games and hang out with friends for a while, eat dinner and hang out the family for a bit, work some more, go to bed and repeat. I'll do this for a while, blink and a week's gone by and then a month. It feels wrong to complain about all of this since the things I listed are all the things I want to do. Writing it out makes it seem obvious that I need to break this routine, but at any given moment it feels like I'm doing the thing I should be doing. Anyone have any suggestions?
This is pretty dope.
Of course I could always find north if I really wanted to seek it out. I think the cool part about this being attached to your body is that you'll always have that sense of where it is. I'm imagining that eventually you would always have a sense of your place in the world.
Does this one work?
I absolutely love that slogan and lil's take on it. Loving the series as well, there's something fascinating about hearing the voice behind a username that you see nearly every day.
I'd love to be added! This is the first year I'll be having well-defined goals. Would be nice to have hubskiers hold me accountable.