I’m always honest with you guys, so I’m gonna be upfront here. I tried creating another account, baseballninja, but I have no idea how to activate it. So I found the password to an old account. I wrote all this last night, but here I am now. It’s been what, two years now? I don’t know. Time has lost meaning. I’m here to pontificate about baseball, maybe cartoons like Ninja Turtles or some shit from time to time, but mostly baseball. I fell in love with it last year. Twitter is a cesspool of angry people and so many bots it’s not funny. Reddit is a hell hole. I don’t even fucking get discord, so here I am, because I’m lonely, my life is a disaster, and every day I go to bed alive is a small miracle. If you want to know where I’m at, here’s a dump for you. It’s greyed out, cause shit gets really real, really quick. Mental Health I think dimensia is starting to kick in. I get confused and lost easily, have a hard time remembering words and events, and other shit. I suffer from OCD, real, fucking, bad. We’re talking losing on average 2-4 hours a day just to hand washing and showering and shit. There’s times where I lose an hour just to a single hand washing session cause I just can’t get it right. The doctor I went to see for it, cause he was free at the time, accidentally made it worse. The coping mechanisms he taught me were for PTSD, a way to rationalize through your fears. Turns out, doing that shit makes OCD worse. Now that I know better, I’m trying to find a specialist for OCD here in the city, but wouldn’t you know it, no one is taking on new patients. Ever. No matter who I call, I get told to check back in three to six months. I’ve damn near given up. My friends and social life One turned into a red piller. Another is about to be homeless and there’s nothing I can do to help and I don’t know if I can bear to watch. Another is, I am starting to suspect, in some weird white nationalist uber conservative church and doesn’t fucking want to admit it. Another I’ve stopped talking to because they went shit crazy. Another lives literally 10 hours away. The Baha’is around here rarely do anything in person and the in person events they do are often when I’m working. Everyone else works when I’m free and vice Vera. My own fucking family never calls or texts unless I call or text first. I text friends memes to stay in touch. Outside my coworkers, my only socialization is with my wife, and for so many reasons that puts a strain on our relationship but we’re trying to manage. My Career I work at a pet store now, cause I can’t get a job anywhere else, and you’d think being a germaphobic animal lover who hates corporate America would make it hard enough, but worse, it’s in a baaad part of town. We’re talking having to have locks on our bathrooms because people use them for drugs and prostitution. We’re talking about witnessing people beat their own pets and children in front of God and everybody. We’re talking about a murder happening literally right next door cause two shoppers got into a heated argument during the holiday season. We’re talking serious tragic and fucked up homelessness. On and on I could go, the stories I could tell, you wouldn’t fucking believe me. They happen, I tell people about them, and no one ever fucking believes me except my coworkers, cause we’ve fucking seen it all. If one of you guys got a text from your roommate that said “Hey, you can’t come home right now. There’s an active shooter situation at our apartment complex and the police won’t let anyone in or out” you’d probably think it’s sensational or some shit. For the people I work with? That’s like the fucking weather report. For real, I’m as kind as possible to as many people as possible at work every single day. Partly because I’m in so much pain, it brings reality into a new perspective that I want to do everything I can to keep other people from feeling what I feel on a daily basis. But also? I kind of don’t wanna get shot in the face cause I pissed off the wrong customer. I’m in a dark, dark, dark place. There’s been some storms I’ve had to ride out and my m sure there’s more to come. I’m only here cause honestly, I don’t even fucking know what to do anymore. I’m not looking for help though, I don’t want sympathy or pity or support. I literally just want a safe corner of the internet to say shit like “This series between Boston and Baltimore has been insane and I can’t wait to see what happens next” or”here’s a list of catchers I think are amazing” or “I love that The Pirates give up on seasons so early, cause then they bust out the rookies and I love watching rookies hustle.” So I’m back. I’m sorry and not sorry. I’ll warn you though, a lot of days, I’m just a ball of emotion. Put up with me or don’t, I don’t care, I’m gonna ramble about baseball anyway. And if you’re blocked, it’s cause I barely have the energy to make it through the day, I don’t have any to put up with you. Doesn’t mean I hate. Doesn’t mean I think you’re a bad person. I’m just really, really tired. . . . I’m literally watching tonight’s Baltimore/Boston game while I wait for the ability to post. So here are thoughts. Adley Rutschman is amazing. I have a special place in my heart for Jonah Heim and Tyler Stephenson though. Boston’s City Connect Jersey is hideous. It looks like it belongs to some European Team. The Padres Jersey is worse. The Brewers and Angels have some cool ones though. I’m surprised that Boston and Chicago White Sox both had seasons that fell apart. After Baltimore’s rough previous few seasons, this one was so fun, even if they don’t get a wild card slot. Can’t wait for next year for them. Or The Rangers. I don’t care about pitch clocks, but I’m so glad they’re banning the shift. 4 men outfields and such were just stupid. Why even call them positions if they’re not gonna stick to them? Players I love to keep an eye on. Jonah Heim. Oneil Cruz. Jonathan India. Keston Huira. Ryan Mountcastle. Way too many. On I could go. Shohei deserves MVP. Mancini being trade to Houston was a tragedy. Him being a bench player is a literal crime. Is Kansas City even a real baseball team? I don’t think I’ve ever paid them even the remotest attention. Fucking baseball. One of the few things that make sense. I’m glad I found it. . . . Woke up to use the bathroom and the wife’s Angels game was just starting. I sat down to watch a bit. Logan O’Hoppe is making his major league debut. He’s a catcher. I’m a sucker for catchers. I love catchers. So much ride on them. Watched a few innings. His first MLB at bat was a clean single, maybe he’ll be okay.
For the record, not that anyone asked, but for the record, I think Godzilla vs Kong was by far, the WORSE Godzilla movie ever made. It was so poorly written, with so many terrible moments, I’m surprised I sat through the whole thing. The fact that it’s well scored by both reviewers and audiences makes me think that our standards as critical, conscientious consumers of media have dropped off a cliff. Why do I mention this, you ask? None of the teams I rooted for this year are in the playoffs, and the way The MKB does listen sing for broadcasting games, watching playoff games is a headache under the best of circumstances. So, until The World Series starts, I’m gonna binge watch Godzilla and Ninja Turtles instead, cause my ability and therefore chances of catching a live game, unless I go to a sports bar, are practically zero. But, no. Seriously. Godzilla vs Kong was a kaiju sized turd.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That’s why I’m posting on company time. The Bible, The Quran, The Baha’i Writings, I’m not burned out on them, but when you read from them everyday, they kind of get repetitive and lose some of their “wow factor.” I think it’s hard too, cause when you read them to hold a mirror up to yourself, to hold yourself to account, it’s hard often to not feel like you’re failing terribly short on a daily basis. I’m a very flawed man and it’s so easy to be angry and sad these days, so, so easy. I gotta find ways not to. So I’m reading other things, like Epictetus and a Marcus Aurelius, Pema Chodron, Attar’s “Conference of the Birds,” on I can go. Authors and books that touch on the same subjects and themes, but from new perspectives to just try to keep things fresh and keep me motivated. Twitter sucks as a source for positive energy. I might just use my account to quote passages and throw them out into the world a bit, not really expecting people to see them though. I think this year’s MLB Playoff format gave the underdog teams an unintended edge, and I’m okay with that. I have more to say, maybe on my lunch.
You should come here. America is a very, very difficult country to live in and we’re pretty disfunctional as a society, but there’s also a lot of wonderful and beautiful things about this place.
“The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.” ~Marcus Aurelius (allegedly) If you’re talking about Power Rangers with Elizabeth Banks, that movie was fun. Haven’t seen the Pattinson Batman, but Pattinson is actually a good actor. Godzilla vs Kong though? Bad writing. Like, every five minutes you’re like, “Dud anyone take time to clean up the script? Anyone at all?” Let me throw some examples at you. Bryan Tyree Henry’s character is infiltrating a corporation to expose them for their evil craziness, and does so by video blogging the whole thing. No disguised face. No disguised voice. Nothing. Like, you expect me to believe he’d be doing that for any length of time and not get caught? There is a battle in the ocean where at one point, Godzilla tries to drown King by dragging him down to the depths of the Ocean and everyone is like “We gotta help that dang guy? What do we do?” Well? What do they do? They drop depth charges!. Literalky in the previous film, Godzilla was at ground zero of a nuclear explosion and survived unharmed, but depth charges are gonna help? And I’m Kong: Skull Iskand, Kong got hurt by conventional weapons, and you guys expect him to survive depth charges? Are you sure? Like, cmon! Oh yeah, and in the climatic battle, King suffers a heart attack, and how is he saved? A geologist somehow magically knows how to fly an experimental antigravity hover craft thingy AND turn it into a giant defibrillator? Are you serious guys? Look, I’ve seen literally EVERY Godzilla film and quite a few of them ask for a bit of give on the part of the audience to make them enjoyable. But when you have s movie where, every five minutes, EVERY FIVE MINUTES, you expect me to give up on reasoning to enjoy it. No. No. It’s badly written and I want a written apology from Warner Brothers and basically everyone involved in this film. It’s bad. It’s terrible. I wanna watch it again only to remind myself that no, I’m not crazy, it really was that awful the first time through.Fuck society. Live by your own rules.
It’s been forever since we talked, but I still think of you from time to time. When the news comes on Anout Russia, I think about you. I hope it doesn’t offend you when I say sometimes I pray for you being over there and all. I read your post on here and hope you’re staying strong.
Baseball A bunch of “reporters” took a single sentence out of a quote by Ohtani wildly out of context and sensationalized the hell out of it. You figure, for a bunch of people who always cry “Why doesn’t anyone trust the media anymore?!” that they’d actually exercize some integrity. They’re doing Ohtani, their audience, and their peers a massive disservice. Shame on them. Now that both The Guardians and The Mariners are out of the running for The World Series, I kind of don’t have a team I’m rooting for. I’m definitely rooting against The Yankees and Astros though. So let’s hope The Padres or Phillies win it all. Birdwatching and Nature I haven’t really done much of any in the past six months. The fall is my favorite time to do it, not cause of migratory birds or anything, I just love the cool air and falling leaves. It’s rained once here in the last four weeks, and even then, for like five minutes. I’m not joking. Lake Meade is at its lowest levels in history. The Mississippi is so low in some parts, river barges can’t travel down it. The parks where I live are starting to cut down certain species of trees cause our wet/dry shifts are so dramatic now that the trees can’t cope and are no longer maintainable. It’s kind of crazy to think things are already this bad and we’re just getting started. But it’s cool. Let’s just fiddle away like Nero. After all, everyone is doing it. Housing Market Apparently a bunch of people who sank money into the speculative housing market through flipping and Air BNB are seeing some very dark storm clouds forming on the horizon. Good. Fuck them. Housing is a social and life necessity, and should never have been turned into a speculative instrument. My only regret is the banks and corporations engaged in the same behavior will probably come out the other side mostly unscathed, which is a shame, cause they’re the real villains here.
Definitely had both stroganoff and peroggis. Thought both were like, polish or something. I love both though, they’re great comfort food in the winter, which is probably no coincidence. Made me look up packzis, cause I swore those were polish donuts. They are. Which is fine, cause I love those too.
Do you remember the days when you bought mets from the grocery store, you still had to actually cook them? But now they have microwave ready mets. How does that make you feel? Are you old enough to remember looking up old newspapers on microfilm? Did you ever? Are you ever nostalgic for the opportunity to do it again and kind of hate the whole digital archives, despite how they’re much more convenient? I know Europe and Asia have tons of baseball leagues. Does Russia?
I’m doing laundry today, a boatload of laundry, so I’m working my way through Seneca’s De Ira translated by James Romm and titled “How to Keep Your Cool.” It’s pretty okay, the translation is easy to read and understand without feeling dry, so credit to Romm for that, and Seneca has some worthwhile thoughts about anger and why our relationship with it is unhealthy. My wife used Post-It Notes to mark passages she finds interesting. Some books, I’m not joking, she’ll have one every few pages. There were some passages I already went through that made me think a bit, but I didn’t note them, so I’ll have to go back and find them later. First time reading Seneca though and he’s pretty alright. I told the wife we need more books of his. She agrees. So there’s that. I also have baseball going on in the background. An old game from earlier this year, if two teams I didn’t pay attention to, just to learn players I don’t know. And no, it’s not a Kansas City Game. As far as I’m aware, that team is actually a work of fiction.
It’s awesome you had a great time. There’s something about discussions during a baseball game that make both more memorable. Next year, I hope to go to more live games. No more major league games though, cause even when tickets are a deal, $10 hotdogs and $8 pops are just stupid prices. Which is fine, cause the college, independent, and minor league games all have their own distinct energy and are just as fun, if not more so, than Major League games.
Witnessing sports with others, especially if they enjoy the same sports you do, is an amazing feeling. When you get the moments where something awesome happens, or awesomely disappointing, and you get to share it with those around you, there’s no feeling like it. And Winter Olympics is fun. Curling is strangely addictive.
One of the best and worse times of my life was when I was so broke, it was scary. I was in such despair, every little moment of happiness was like brushing against the clouds of heaven. A six pack of beer. Fresh vegetables. Cooking rice and beans and discount ground beef with friends and enjoying it. D&D sessions. Sitting outside and just listening to music. All of it was sublime, it was worth the moments of empty fridges, worrying about how to pay bills, getting angry over deadbeat roommates and free loader friends. Like Ying and Yang, every moment of hardship brought every moment of happiness into stark focus. But the despair and the happiness both were tangible, easily identified and embraced. People talk about wealth like its dollars and sense. Material wealth just turns the world into a grey blob. No color. No contrast. No texture. Wealth isn't about having things. Wealth is about knowing who we are, what makes us happy and why, what hurts us and why, and becoming comfortable with those moments of despair just as much as we enjoy those moments of happiness. We can want good things, and they may never come, and that'll make us feel unfulfilled. We can want to end pain, for ourselves, for others, and that too may never happen, and that unfulfilled want just makes the suffering that much worse. Wealth isn't about having. Wealth is about being. Be happy. Be sad. Be here. Be there. But above all, be you. Be really, truthfully, you and you'll have a wealth no law, no thief, no disease, and no calamity can ever take from you. Today was an awful day, but it was also beautiful, and I'm thankful for it all.
It's been said that a shrew's heart is rather fragile and the slightest agitation would cause one to die from a sudden heart attack. Considering all the pictures I've seen of people handling shrews over the years, maybe there's a chance that that's not the case. If I had to guess how that myth started, it probably has to do with the fact that some of them have insane heartbeat rates. The Etruscan Shrew has had a heartbeat measured at 1500bpm, which is crazy, but if you click that link, the very picture they have is of one being handled. So maybe it's a myth, at least, I hope it is. Could you imagine if they were so weak in the heart and they heard about what's going on with the stock market? We'd have shrews dropping left and right. Hearts aside, some are venomous though and if that's not interesting, I don't know what to tell you. Dala got me Megaman Zero Legacy for the X-Box recently. It's awesome, but I'm not gonna lie, I'm having a real hard time with it. The various Megaman series, the classic Castlevania games, the classic Sonic games, all of them are a lot harder than I remember. I use save states and such pretty often. It's the only way I can get through these games now. I must be such a disappointment to my childhood gaming self.
Merry Christmas, Pubski! Have a Yule Tide Yak. I had a fun time trying to name animals that would make for great Christmas alliterations. Christmas Koala, Nudibranches of Noel, Festive Foxes, Jolly Jellyfishes, Winter Wrens. The yak won out, partly because it sounds cool, but also for some reason Christmas and farm animals seem to go really well together. A pretty close runner up would have been a Christmas Kookaburra, just because their calls really sound joyful. The other day, I went for a walk on a trail I've wanted to explore for a while, but haven't because it's about two and a half miles long. I tend to take a real long time on trails, so something that length at my usual pace, would be about a six to eight hour walk. I ended up walking it faster though and finished it in about three hours, but it's such a great trail, when the weather gets better, I'm totally gonna pack some water and power bars and give it the time it deserves (my whole day). When I was walking it though, I was thinking about all of the cool things I was seeing on it that I really wanna share with Dala. We recently went on a guided tour of a trail from one of our local parks and while it was great, the things the guide focused on aren't usually what Dala and I look for in nature and man, this trail would be perfect for me to memorize and point out this, that, and the other to her. It's honestly one of the best I've been on this year. Don't think she'd be up for an eight hour walk though . . . While I don't wanna dwell on an ugly thing I did, I just wanna say I genuinely, heartfully, appreciate the patience and understanding and kind words from everyone. I was pretty afraid I screwed up real bad, cause I did, and there wasn't any coming back from it. I'm so thankful that wasn't the case. You're all amazing and I'd support you all over anyone who'd say otherwise. Call and text some of your family and friends today, Pubski. You don't need a special day to spread some cheer, but since it's the season . . . :)
Seeds The other week I planted in a bunch of planters appleseeds and acorns to keep outside over winter so they can be seedlings in the spring. The other day, when I went out to water them, it looks like a squirrel had sniffed out the acorns and had decided to help itself to them. Which is fine, that's part of life and I kind of figured there was a chance of that happening. Since I have a bunch of empty pots and no acorns now, the other day Dala and I went and gathered pine seeds and planted those instead. They're no oak trees, but they're still pretty, so I'll work with that. Health My mental faculties have been on a slow but steady downward trajectory for the past two or three years. It's been pretty easy for me to be in denial about it, because most of the signs so far have been pretty easy to ignore. I say most, because I've been ignoring a big red flag and that's my inability to handle stress. I've been forced out of jobs because of it and I haven't been able to work as much or as well as I used to. Recently though, a new red flag has popped up, and that's when I'm any combination of tired, stressed, or processing too much information, I struggle with speech. I can't remember even basic words and conveying even simple ideas takes so much effort it's an equal combination of embarrassing and scary. Sucks for Hubski though that, for the most part, my ability to write hasn't been affected yet. Which means you lot will probably have to put up with me for the foreseeable future. Last Wednesday I had such a great day at work I was reminded of the kind of man I used to be. The rest of the week was a near disaster, reminding me of the man I am now. It was enough to make me realize I can't afford to be in denial anymore, that dementia runs in the family and that coupled with my head injury, the future looks pretty foggy. I'm gonna save up money to visit the neurologist that treated me for my head injury and see where we go from there. A family planner and possibly social worker might be in my future too. In an odd way, finally acknowledging that I'm having some very real problems make things feel less scary and more scary than before. If anyone has experience in this realm and some advice, I'd love to hear it. No pity though. All things considered I'm still in good shape and I intend to keep it that way.
Here's a stoat. It's as fierce as it is cute. Keep being the good people that you are, Hubski. The world always needs a little extra patience, a little extra understanding, a little extra kindness. You all have those and more, so don't hesitate to share them. :)
Woo! Tuesday Pubski! Looks like mk can add "Time Traveler" to that impressive resume of his. I'd love to stay and chat, but I honestly just got on the tablet to check the weather before I head out for a walk. I hope you all have a beautiful Thanksgiving this week and you're enjoying these last few weeks of fall. :)
Name: rd95/sd86/binder/applewood Location: My bed Former Preoccupation: Obsessing over cars, comics, nature, Americana and folk music, crafts and art Current Preoccupation: Pretty much the same, minus cars and comics, add a new found curiosity for gardening. Found a job at a place that treats me well, found a new hobby I love (bookbinding), trying my best to do well in the world. Some days I succeed, sometimes I don't. I grow more and more ambivalent about the internet as time goes on, but man, Hubski's a hard place to quit. There are just too many great people on here.
It's been a hard decade, but beautiful. On paper, there's been a lot of setbacks, but in reality, I'm ending the decade a better person than I started it, not materially, but in essence. Happiness isn't something that happens to you. You have to fashion it. More importantly, you have to fashion it to your vision of happiness, not what you think other people think it might look like. Every now and then, a piece is gonna break off, that's part of life, but with enough practice, you can replace those broken pieces, often for the better.What did this past decade teach you?
Art kingmudsy has got an arts and craft thread up. If you haven't seen it yet, check it out. It's awesome as heck to have something like that going again because Hubski is legit filled with some super creative people and it's always wonderful to see what people are working on. Cars The other month, I talked about how the third, fourth, and fifth generation Camaros just didn't age well at all, visually speaking. They're all just pretty bland and underwhelming, even with clean bodies and fresh paint. Well, the other day, I was thinking about the Isuzu Vehicross and while it may have been a bit of an odd duck in its day and a bit ahead of its time, it still looks good. I can imagine, with only a few tweaks, the same car could be released today and still fit in. I kind of regret never buying a lightly used one when I had the opportunity. The combination from being a limited run car and from an abandoned brand kept me away, for fear of difficulty getting repair support for it, which is a shame, cause I probably would have loved that car. Ditto for the Pontiac G8. Videogames I recently got the Street Fighter Anniversary Collection and have been enjoying the heck out of it. I'm a bit at a loss though, because with the exception of Super Street Fighter II for the Sega Genesis and a little dabbling in Marvel vs. Capcom 1 and 2, Inever really played Street Fighter, instead opting for The King of Fighters series from SNK (I literally had ever King of Fighters game from '94 to XI, plus games like Neo Geo Battle Colosseum, etc.). So I'm basically in the process of learning to use and fight against characters I'm not too familiar with, with a series of fighting systems I'm not too familiar with, and I gotta say, it's quite the challenge. I like Fei Long in Super Street Fighter II, Ken in the Alpha series, and Sean in III. I think I owe it to myself to do a bit more exploring though. Keep being beautiful everyone.
Birds and People Who Love Them I went on a Wikimedia bird binge recently and bookmarked a ton of beauties. This is a Gray/Canada Jay and while it's nothing exotic, it's quite lovely. I wanted to share this picture in particular, because its authors are Andy Reago & Chrissy McClarren and they've put a ton of content on Wikimedia. I run across their names constantly on that site and I'm really starting to appreciate the amount of work they must be putting in. It wasn't until recently though that I discovered that they also have a Youtube Channel too. At this rate, I wouldn't be too surprised to find out they have an iNaturalist account. Speaking of iNaturalist and bird watchers and such, that site is chock full of people worth looking at. One person in particular though, Greg Lasley, I wanna bring attention to. He has over 35,000 observations in seven years. The man clearly loves doing this stuff. He impresses me raw numbers wise, but there are so many awesome people on that site from all over the world, from the occasionally curious, to hobbyists, to hardcore photographers, to researchers, to public workers. The site blows my mind and I'm so glad Dala showed it to me. Also, I straight up love this photo. It's cute. Early morning Hubski is best Hubski. You're all beautiful. I'm gonna get me some coffee and cuddle that dog of mine.
Animal Names The other day, Dala and I were watching a nature documentary following a family of wildcats over the course of a year. In true nature documentary fashion, each one was given a unique name, which is fine. Names build connections and all. I decided then and there though, if by some weird happenstance I'm ever part of a documentary, I'm gonna give all of the animals names you'd expect a five year old to name their new pet. Names like Princess Sparkle Butt, June Bug, Tankmaster Thunderhead or Mr. Jim. Tell me you wouldn't watch a documentary about the lioness, Princess Sparkle Butt, as she makes her way across the African Jungle. Video Games The wife and I recently came across a system that's coming out, The Evercade, that really appeals to me for a lot of reasons. With the exception of a few titles here and there, The X-Box One has seen the least use of any generation of console I have owned (actually, the WiiU and Nintendo 2DS get way less, so much so that I forget I own them). Lately, the majority of the time I'm playing the X-Box, I'm playing retro games like the Sega Genesis Collection or the Street Fighter Anniversary Collection. There's something about classic games that are hard to beat, like no constant needs for updates, getting the complete game out of the package sans DLC, local multiplayer, pixel graphics being a huge treat, on and on I could go. So when I heard about this new system, about how it's gonna have legitimately licensed games on swappable cartridges, it got my interest. I know emulation is pretty big these days, so much so that systems like the GP2X aren't really necessary anymore because people can emulate on devices like the Wii, the Playstation Portables, etc. But legit, emulation isn't for me because I don't want to deal with the hassle of programming a device, and more importantly, it's a legal gray (and sometimes black and white) area that I don't even want to wander into. Similarly, while it's great to see mini consoles like the Mini-Nes, the Mini-Genesis, the upcoming Mini-TurboGrafx16, etc., I got rid of a lot of systems a while ago to make room in my house, and if those mini-systems are gonna take up a lot of space and not have swappable cartridges? I mean, they're less than what I let go of. But the Evercade? It seems to fit a lot of what I want. It's small, but can still be hooked up to the TV, I can play it right out of the box, there's classic games coming out on it, and there's no legal gray area about it. So I'm gonna get one, and give it a shot. I'm a little bit concerned about build quality, since it's not from a major company and I know some of those small time game companies have major quality control issues, but if it's halfway decent, I think it'll be worth it. I'll probably post my thoughts on it when I finally get my hands on it, in case anyone is interested. My only regret is, Amazon seems to be the only place carrying it, and we all know how I feel about them. But I dunno, maybe buying something from an underdog company through an absolutely evil corporation is a morally neutral thing. Besides, I think it's the first time the wife and I will be getting anything from Amazon in ages, so I can at least take comfort in that. Personal Health I'm not comfortable talking about this, but I promised you guys an update when I brought this issue up and a promise is a promise, so here we go. Went to the neurologist the other week to talk about what's been going on lately. They said they think I look good for the most part, that most of what I'm dealing with is the result of being really stressed basically all the time and maybe just a bit of aging. They said if it would give me piece of mind, they could order a bunch of tests for me, I said "No thank you. The less tests the better." I'm still not completely convinced I'm in the clear, because I can't imagine so many problems stemming just from stress, but a relationship has been established, I'm welcome to come back, and that's good enough for me for now. I'm just gonna keep an eye on things, do my best to be careful, do my best to be healthy, and do my best to be vigilant. Besides, hospitals suck, I know I have a distrust in doctors, and if stress is the problem, the less I have to deal with all of that stuff, the better. So I'm just gonna keep on keeping on, because really, what other option is there? It's been a good year, so far, guys. I hope you're all doing well. Seeing what goes on with you guys on Pubski is honestly the highlight of my week.
Here is a very small sample of some of the books I make. These are the best ones I currently have, but are by no means the best ones I’ve made. Like I told flac last week, when I make a really good book, I’m so excited about it, I can’t wait to give it away. I’m thinking about creating a post eventually, about how I make the majority of my books and why I go that route. It’s funny, because I’ve made so many of them the process seems pretty straightforward to me, but when I stop to think about all of the techniques I use and why I use them, I realize there’s quite a bit of stuff to explain. In short, I made all of my books with as many natural and bio-degradable materials as possible. The only polymer based materials I intentionally use are PVA Glue and Acrylic Paint. I bind my books with the flat back binding method for two reasons, mostly because I don’t have the tools to do rounding and backing on my books, but also because the extra board on the spine means I don’t have to put headbands on my books if I don’t want to. The one drawback to that binding method is though, while the books open completely, they don't lay flat. It makes writing in them a bit awkward. So it's great for text blocks with pre-existing text already in them, but for journals and sketch books, not so much. When I create my own textblocks, I use linen book tape for reinforcement, french link stitch to help prevent vertical travel between signatures, and kettle stitch on the ends to keep everything nice and secure. Here’s what a text block looks like by itself. Here’s a close up of two different lino-cut stamps I’ve made for my books. I like lincocutting a lot. Partly because you can kind of get a woodcut print look out of it, without having to work as hard as you would carving a block of wood. Additionally, because linoleum is made from plant materials, it's biodegradable, which is a plus. The paint for the dog is Liquitex Acrylic and the rooster on the right is Speedball Block Print Ink for Fabric. I’m not too happy with either. The Luquitex Acrylic, while it dries nice and quick, is really hard to get an even, consistent color out of. I use it though, because I know it’s acid free. I’m saving up some cash this month and I’m gonna buy a few tubes of Luquitex Soft Body Acrylic to see if that’s easier to work with. I’m assuming the answer will be yes. The Speedball Block Print Ink on the other hand, takes forever to dry. We’re talking days. Additionally, I can’t find any information as to whether or not it’s acid free, so there’s that as well. These are just test prints for the two linocuts I’ve made so far. I’m thinking of buying a button making machine in the future, to turn these test prints into buttons. That way, they’re just not sitting on fabric going to waste. So yeah. Bookbinding. That’s what I’ve been spending a lot of my free time learning and working on. I have three different projects down the road that I’m gonna try and document to share with you guys, but other than that, if you’re ever wondering what I’m doing with my free time and blowing my money on mindlessly, you’re looking at it. Have a beautiful day guys.
Look at this little one. It looks like it's having a smug little chuckle over there. I love it. Netflix I was recently told that an hour of watching Netflix causes about as much pollution as driving a car ten miles. I tried looking it up, but I can't find where to get that information, but I did find quite a few articles that data servers are quite the energy hogs. So I'm thinking of maybe just not watching Netflix anymore, save myself some money each month, and be just a bit more environmentally friendly. When I first thought about doing it, I was thinking "Oh, I dunno. I really like television." The more I think about it though, the less of a sacrifice it seems. After all, I gave up Hulu after Disney bought Fox and don't miss it anywhere near as much as I thought I would. Additionally, there's tons of films and TV shows over the years I've never gotten around to seeing, despite people raving about them, and I never really felt like I'm missing out. Plus, let's be honest, a lot of these services are just full of lame filler anyway, which just lead to a lame way to fill in the day. Blessed Chalk I recently hung out with a friend of mine and due to a scheduling issue, I ended up sitting and chatting with their lovely mother for about an hour and a half while they took care of a few things. I adore this woman and I'm told she's similarly fond of me. We chatted about a few things, from gardening to the aches and pains of aging to family. She's a pretty devout Catholic and so inevitably, our discussion drifted towards faith and religion. We talked quite a bit about courage and forgiveness and the ills of gossip. Before I left, she gave me some blessed chalk and instructions on how to bless my house for The Epiphany. All she asked was, that if I didn't bless my house, is to at least respect that the chalk is blessed and respectfully bury it in good soil instead of throwing it away. I didn't bless my house, cause I'm not Catholic and it's not my house and I'm the only person under this roof who is religious. I still have the chalk though, and I am gonna respect her request about burying it. I'm thinking of instead of burying it whole though, of maybe breaking it into smaller pieces or grinding it up and putting it in the pots where I'm trying to grow my trees. Do I honestly think the chalk will help the seeds grow, either through science or prayer? No. But I feel like the chalk was a heartfelt and meaningful gift and I think burying it in something that I feel is meaningful to me is a significant act. Pets and Aging My dog is getting old guys. When it was younger, I wanted it to be young forever. Honestly though, this dog is wearing each day and each grey hair it gains with a very real dignity. I can only hope to age half as gracefully. Here's hoping everyone's new year is going great so far. :)
Happy New Year! Happy New Decade! Happy surviving twenty years under the scourge of Y2K!
Spirit Bears Art The list of artists that genuinely speak to me is pretty short, but also pretty diverse. I recently discovered Jude Hill and she's pretty much shot to the top of my list. Everything she makes is so beautiful, so organic. Her approach to her work too, philosophically, syncs up with a lot of my thoughts, like this whole blurb from her about page . . . Just look at some of her pieces, like . . . This house, or this woven piece, or this heart, and this cat. Because the other week goobster and I were talking about visible mending, I feel like I should give him a shout out so he can check out these jeans. Everything of hers I see, I love, love, love. Shallow Deepness Ahead I recently had a brief text exchange with a friend, about how I'm going through a pretty intense but also enjoyable period of self discovery and change and some of the challenges it brings, like for example I'm becoming a bit more reclusive exactly when a lot of people around me are becoming more outgoing and I feel like the timing is unfortunate. We talked about how these periods of change seems to come about every five years, which coincidentally, is about the same timeline the cells in the body are considered to be all new and different. Sometimes I wonder about the nature of our cells in the relation to ourselves and how they're a tangible expression of self, being a whole, single unit, compiled of countless minute units. Countless cells, countless moments of life lived and experienced, each can be broken down and quantified, appreciated on their own, but the collective whole is so much greater. For fear of getting too spiritual/philosophical on here, I've been thinking about just like our cells don't all renew at once, but gradually over time, we obviously change gradually over time as well, still ourselves, but also to the point where we often feel completely different than who we were in previous decades. I think it's important to keep this process in mind, to embrace change and growth, and most importantly, make the conscious decision to do what we can to direct those changes and growth in a positive direction. Dunno. It's been riding my mind ever since that text exchange. Sorry for the ramble. It's been a rough week. I think after I'm done with laundry, I'm gonna head to the park, sit, and just watch the birds. Here's hoping you're all doing wonderful, Hubski.
White Kermode bears are not albinos as they still have pigmented skin and eyes. Rather, a single, non-synonymous nucleotide substitution in the MC1R gene causes melanin to not be produced. This mutant gene is recessive, so Kermode bears with two copies of this mutant, nonfunctional gene appear white, while bears with one copy or no copies appear black. It is possible for two black bears to mate and produce a white cub if both of these black bears are heterozygous, carrying one copy of the mutant MC1R gene, and both mutant genes are inherited by the cub. Additional genetic studies found that white Kermode bears breed more with white Kermode bears, and black Kermode bears breed more with black Kermode bears, in a phenomenon known as positive assortative mating. One hypothesis is that this happens because young bears imprint on their mother's fur colour.
unplugged for convenience of portability and my dedication to energy conservation. i don't buy much of anything and i hate all the "gunk" that is applied to fabric art these days. it interferes with the nature of the fabric. i believe in recycling and re-purposing and my work is mostly given away but i have opened a shop for smaller pieces. hand sewing is meditative and beautiful. i do occasionally plug in but machine stitches are just not the same.
From the article. Which is where I'm getting my concern from, because fifteen hours a week doesn't sound right. That's either only two full shifts or three part time shifts and unless someone is pinned, that's not a lot. As weird as it sounds, an extra five hours and change makes a huge difference. Not trying to argue, just explaining my reasoning behind my math in the original comment. THAT is what is going to tear the future apart. I really don't mean to be dark, but through ignorance, apathy, and cultural inertia we live in a world where a lot of nasty stuff is going on that I don't even want to say out loud. But we got kids these days fighting for the environment, we got people waking up to the ills of big business, we're holding people responsible for the opioid crisis, we have a collective weariness against war, we have a collective weariness about women and minorities being treated poorly, on and on I could go. I mean, things are really dark right now, but things are also really good, and maybe we're at the point where society is ready to pay attention to its shortness of breath, the ballooning numbers on the bathroom scale, and that pervasive back pain that won't go away and not only go to the doctors, but actually start taking their advice. Yeah, giving up cigarettes is hard, dieting is no fun, and exercise isn't always an adventure, but it beats the alternative. Ten years ago, if I told people I was cutting back on meat, all but swearing off synthetic fabrics, and refusing to do business with companies like Disney and Amazon, they'd think I was just plain weird. Now when I talk to people about those kinds of things, either they're on board and do similar things, or they think I'm weird but at least understand where I'm coming from. That's progress. Are we all pretty screwed? Yes. Are we probably more screwed than we were ten years ago? Probably also yes. Am I more hopeful that things are starting to change now, though? A hundred times.It's $215, for 2 weeks of work.
Let's assume for the sake of argument that she has no viable skills. She's got diabetes. And she's one pay hike away from being roboticized out of a job. How do we solve a problem like Cierra?