I saw him give profit sharing to his employees, even in the lean years. I saw him offer tuition reimbursement and I saw him continue to pay terminally ill employees well after they left his charge.

There is something about this that I find grand, so unbelievably huge for a person to hold forth.

Your Opa sounds like an amazing person. You are so very lucky to had him in your life.

Condolences, and stay strong.

"Officially Amazing" indeed.

Almost done with the exams.

I'm dedicating today to Grammar and learning the semester's worth of data in a day.

I'm dedicating tomorrow to Philosophy, something I'm leaning to study well just out of spite, similarly in a day's fashion.

There's also the tiny issue of PE and me... khm... taking liberties in participating in classes. Something to solve tomorrow... hopefully.

That leaves two exams to the autumn, meaning I have the whole summer to prepare to them. I intend to do unlike this year and give a bit of every single day to learn a tiny bit more, so that, come September, I be ready to crush it.

Been talking to the Psychology teacher. She was impressed by the work I've made with one of the projects (a team work which I did alone) and offered me to write papers with her if I want to. It's an exciting opportunity by itself, but our interests in what we'd like to study don't align. My instincts tell me I could bend over to make it work... The mature and rational part cuts it off: "You've been through this. This never works".

I slowly come to accept the seemingly inevitable thought that people are never going to be comfortable around me because of who - what - I am. I can be charming and sociable, but it takes so much effort that it isn't worth it for most people. Otherwise, I'm that guy in your group you wouldn't talk to, the guy who's always alone doing some odd stuff you've never even heard of.

I don't know how to open up to people - as in, I don't know what it constitutes and how it is expressed, in practical terms - and I don't know where to start learning that. The way I express myself with people, the things I say are often left unattended, even if it's the best damn piece of writing I've done in a long while (warning: Reddit). Those who break through the invisible wall tend to be people with major character flaws... or at least, that's what I tell myself when they get close.

If I'm not going to be sociable, I might as well leave behind me the kind of work that would make people go "Oh, this is good".

I'm sure Dr. Peterson has something to say about it. The man and I speak the same language, I enjoy listening to what he has to say. He's brutally honest about what parts of humanity he's learned about as a Ph.D. in clinical psychology, and I appreciate hearing of all the flaws in how we think laid out the way he lays it out.

Last year, I felt awful about going back to Kemerovo for the summer: it meant that I'd have to be living with my parents again - a thought that, at the time, seemed unbearable. This year, I'm eager to finally return there. I miss the city, I miss the familiarity and the... commonness of it. I miss having a park right beside the yard. I miss the long walks down the street that would give me an hour or two to think about stuff.

And the parents? I can stand that. I noticed how resilient I've become to controversy and disagreement with people, to the point where I can hold my own when assaulted verbally (which some immature people still try to do in games). I don't take things personally lately, which has definitely contributed to my well-being. My parents are going to be mostly living on the dacha for the summer, anyway, and I might very well find myself travelling.

In a proper long message, this would constitute a conclusion. I don't have one for now, so - be well, everyone.

P.S. I'd love to meet some of you and just chat for a while if I ever had a chance. You sound like an awesome company to be in, Hubski.

In western countries women have significantly more social privilege than men, especially if you throw out the outliers.

Do elaborate.

Get well soon.

Already? Another one?

For the last two weeks, I've been staying up until as late as 5 AM. Today was no exception. The sole purpose of such night watch is so I could talk to a girl living four timezones behind me. It's the same girl I've talked about at last week's Pubski meeting.

It's difficult to talk about it without feeling pity for myself right now. I tend to internalize all my failures, and this, being a new experience, has many. I recognize that often, I set myself against an indecently-high bar. Still, being sober in reflection, - I did things that aren't good for any relationship, or for myself. Putting unreasonable pressure on her was one of those things. Selling myself low - another.

It's scary for me to be in a relationship where the other person appreciates me for what I am. Past memories tell me that after such appreciation, inevitably comes pointing out of how I fail as a person, in one aspect or another. Now, without external sources of shame, I make one up from inside to "compensate" for good behavior. I'm accustomed to surviving in toxic conditions that no longer exist in my life, and the survival instinct is difficult to rewire because dangers don't just disappear - not in nature, anyway.

Either way, I don't believe it's going to matter. I don't think she still takes me seriously as a potential romantic interest. At this point, I'm just glad to have had someone who sincerely - and obviously - likes me. "Obviously" is a big one for me, because my default state of mind on people's attitude towards me is "uh, it's this guy again". Unless people tell me they feel good about it, I don't dare assume otherwise. It's something I've been working on for the past few months, but with the busload of things on my shoulders doesn't do my healing favors.

In other news, I've finally figured out how to not stress so much about university and the pile of debts that I've accrued by missing two months' worth of classes due to depression. It's a job. I may not like it, but it affords me opportunities I couldn't have otherwise acquired. It pays, too... technically: my parents send me money to live on. Besides, it's not the worst thing I could be doing, given the freedom I get for doing it. Just have to do well enough. For now, it's okay.

I'm glad to have found this place. You guys are awesome. There are great conversations here from time to time, and the trove of experiences people bring here is fantastic. Keep up the good work, fellas.

Jesus Christ. I already have a bag-of-holding worth of stuff to read.

Here. I wrote something out of my crazy mind that gives a glimpse of what the fuck is going on with me.

EDIT [a day after]: I'm better.

I'm so glad you're here! Now I get to do some target practice to let some steam off. You aren't coming back, as per your other comment, and you've given me a good reason. It's the perfect opportunity!

Without any experience about this place, you come here and expect things to be given to you. Instead of asking, "why is it so?" or "what can be improved?", you launch rancid spit of no constructive value into the person who has made one of the best portions of the Internet available to the common person.

Do you think we would value your posts after such a conditional denigration? Do you think we would care about what you have to bring into the community? Because you wouldn't've. If it was so difficult for you to accept that things might just have been in the process of change just as your poor ass has decided to visit this shaded place, I see no way you would've survived in a single sincere conversation around here. Folks don't hold off to spare your feelings here.

If you have nothing of value to say in response to thoughts of those who have proven their worth to the community through thoughtful conversation, you have nothing of value to present when - nay, if - you would've gotten the opportunity to do so. People like you aren't welcome here, nor will they ever be. You go ahead and tell that to everyone you meet, 'cause it's the truest thing you've heard so far.

Maybe you should get the nickname out of the title. I can't imagine how easy it is to track inactivated persons on Hubski, but if that might be a problem, we should be careful as well.

I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. I may as well have a panic attack when I'm in class. All the people around me I reached out to so far failed to show any kind of compassion.

Knowing that I'm at the lowest point now is a relief.

Been to all classes today, for the first time. The teachers I've met weren't nearly as nasty about me skipping a whole month worth of classes as I imagined.

Haven't had a highly destructive thought for a while, and fought the other ones successfully. Eaten when hungry, which is enormous. Complimented a girl without thinking too much about it.

The group and I have a tall enough wall by now that, about administrative matters, they dare not talk to me. The dean's office needed our credit books for government reevaluation. I only learned about it today, a day before it has to be done, not from the head of the group but from the only other guy in it, because we still maintain semblance of contact.

(if anyone wants to talk to me about repairing bridges, opening up to people, apologizing first or the giving spirit - not fucking now)

I have no one to reach out to, no one to talk to about how I feel or just spend time with in the immediate vicinity. Best anyone did was ask me how I was and, receiving no reply, say "Oh. That bad?". People only care about me as long as I provide some sort of utility. Without that, I might as well not exist. Same thing about my narcissistic mother. May or may not be related to shit that's happening.

Lost a few friends since last Pubski to the same apathy.

Met half the people I didn't want to meet within the same half an hour today, including Julia. One of her posts later came up as "recommended" in my social network feed. Going to meet another person tomorrow. Shit.

One day I'm gonna laminate my memory of Sveta on Hubski, 'cause I keep thinking about her years after. Watch out for that name. Damn it.

On top of simple desire to dissapate in people for a little bit, I'm experiencing limerence. Fucking hell.

(if anyone wants to talk to me about getting therapy - I don't even have money for food, so not fucking now)

Anyway. Lowest point. Gonna keep attending all the classes, like I promised myself I would.

Haven't seen byonic for a long while. Makes me worried. He's not active on IRC or Hubski.

haven't I always been one to argue close the gates and fuck the outs?

Sounds hella lot like creating an echo chamber.

and am still not as satisfied as I would like with my connections with others in my age range and it's funny - this past week I've heard similar complaints from multiple people. Maybe this is all just a form of escapism.

If you've been following my recent Pubski posts, you know I'm in the same boat. How old are you? Maybe it isn't just the youngsters thing.

I want to explore. Next year I think I'm going to go to Machu Picchu.

Come to Russia. Hike the Kamchatkan mountains; visit me smack dab in the middle of Siberia along the way. Hell, I'll show you some decent Russian forests right here in Tomsk!

The compass looks most badass. I can't spare the 600 RUB, but if I could, I'd put the compass on the wall or something.

I wanted to post something here yesterday, but I've had a lot on my mind.

I've had a good feeling for 2017.

This year, I've started being consistent in the plans I lay down. Tomorrow, I'll be finishing my first seven days of exercise and running. It's a big day because I'd have to be running 5 mins x 2 after half a year's lack of any physical, and I'm a bit nervous; but I haven't skipped a day and have been following the protocol, so I should go through with it just fine.

Started writing the outline of the world I'm setting a forum (literary) RPG in. It's about humanity dealing with the sudden appearance of something utterly alien; PTSD-affected superpowered people who went through months of hell; and using one's wits to survive and emerge victorious. Staying on course of trying to figure the world out, instead of abandoning the idea, and consulting a couple of locals helped me get to the point where I have a solid understanding of what I want from it.

I've decided this year to incorporate things one by one, few weeks apart, into the daily routine. Next week, I'm going to include getting up on my German and starting Icelandic.

I'm also going to include more and more details about my personal life into these posts. A Lifehacker video told me that empathy is a process of mutual understanding, and I've been effectively trying to exclude my part from it so as to not feel vulnerable. I think it's going to help me improve in interpersonal communication and empathy.

Next week's the start of the new uni semester, and I feel nervous. I've managed to ruin my image with the group by verbally attacking my groupmate at a slight provocation in the online chat; I'm deeply ashamed of having done so; you can see how it makes me uneasy, being in their company for most of the week afterwards. The idea of "class/group as a family" makes me value the group too much; that, or I'm too used to pushing people away hard the closer I want them to be.

Instead of entering the "easy course" of Literature of the Main Language (where you have to do almost nothing to get the semester's pass mark), I chose to enroll in Masterpieces of World Literature. What makes the difference between those two is the teacher of the course: MWL is led by a woman who's decided to send a message, literally and figuratively, to us second-year students where she stated that she wants no one lazy and stupid attending her classes. This raised an uproar within the group, with words and phrases like "stuck-up" and "thinks too much of herself" abound by the vocal minority. I tried to object so as to not silence people who might want to choose it instead of opting out of education they fucking paid for; it led to... see above. I'm attending MWL because I want to get into literature that I so eagerly escaped as a teenager at school, but I'm afraid I'm going alone on this one. A friend of mine from the year above made it easier on me by agreeing with my choice on the same basis, having attended it herself; she was the one to tell me it's not that bad, either.

There's one other concern I have about the upcoming semester. There are no requirements to pass the Philosophy class, led by an old man too busy complaning about us youngsters during the lectures to actually tell something interesting (his ramblings are so toxic and mind-numbing I went catatonic after the one lecture I visited). There is, however, a tradition that's been going on for years - something our Language Practice teacher told us about - to "thank" the old man for getting the "free" pass marks by "gifting" him a bottle of liquor; I, as the man of the group, am supposed to "gift" it, because the old man has a disdain for women.

It has occurred to me, however, that I am effectively to do is bribe a teacher; simply because it's technically post-factum doesn't make it any less of a bribe, and you don't have to be Rene Descartes to figure that out. If I refuse to bribe the man, the whole group - possibly including myself - might get what would be perceived "unfair treatment" by my groupmates (i.e., being "robbed" of free pass marks). If I do so, knowing full well that I'm bribing someone, I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life, and I'm not okay with that. This "bribery" is harmless and you get to get away with passing an exam or a final test, but it's still morally wrong; besides, his lectures are crap, so it isn't worth it even from that perspective.

If I was in Europe, the university commission would most likely be interested in corruption in education; but Russia isn't Europe, and I'm seeing the apathy too vividly in front of me to go for their help. I don't know how to go about it, either; all I know is that I'm not a cheating man, and I'm not going to bribe anyone.

Other than that, things are looking up for me. I'm going to take my education more seriously and get as much as I can from it, because so far, I'm disappointed of not getting enough of the really interesting stuff; hopefully, things are to change this semester, with the introducion of the cooler linguistics subjects such as Theory of Language (led by the former dean, no less). I'm going to take my 2017 To Do List seriously and get stuff done. Like Bruce Lee said, "If it kills you, it kills you". I'd rather die from what I love than from fear of not getting it right.

To finish, here's a Russian cover of Johnny Cash's awesome God's Gonna Cut You Down.

There's a saying in Russia: "Нет худа без добра", meaning "There's no evil without [that doesn't also bring] good".

I've read somewhere - I think it was Brian Eno's interview - that Trump's presidency stirs the bowl, making people get their shit together. If this is the result, then by all good and holy, I accept it. Best wishes to the scientists willing to contribute to the political progress of the country.

Not all scientists are going to run for office: only some of them, a small number compared to the scientific apparatus that the US bolsters if my understanding of the size of the Congress is anywhere near correct. Having even a few who'd advocate the interests of one of the most essential activities of humanity - scientific research - can't do any harm and will most likely improve the situation.

Pubski already? TIme flew fast.

A. S. Made a long-winded comment. Deleted it. Made a concise version, instead.

Been thinking a lot about relationships today. Realized today that never but once have I felt a sincere connection to someone, and Sveta's no longer a part of my life. Other people, even those I'm on good terms with, feel like no more than that to me, and I'm bothered by this disconnect. I want to make connections, I want to be able to talk to people in a more... normal way, but I have no idea how or how to figure it out. People expect me to follow common-sense rules that I've never learned; it's no wonder, then, that people avoid me the way they do.

I don't feel like people like me. Not "most people" - that would be natural - but people overall. I suppose it's the reflection of my own self-esteem, to assume that people can't like me. I feel like the best I can do is hazard a guess at their current disposition towards me - a relic of my time under a narcissistic mother, trying to survive the waves of the whim; I don't feel like I can say with certainty what the state of things is unless I get the confirmation of it often enough. This may be why I need so much contact with people: to know that they didn't stop liking me yet and are still my friends, because this is what I'm wired for: to be liked as if it's the only reputable source of one's self-esteem. Doesn't help that best I get from people ranges from ignoring me to mixed signals to "I have other stuff I have to take care of" and never messaging back.

Further complexity brings the fact that I don't do well with normal people, those who have few problems. It can be fun, but it's never as exciting as being around broken people. I thrive on helping others overall, and broken people are most in need of "help" that, for me, really is "fixing" them. Without helping - or "helping" - I feel useless and my existence - pointless... and I know there's a better way for me to exist than that. I want to do better than that, for my own sake. I don't want to be everybody's teddy bear or doormat: I want to be appreciated, accepted and loved for being myself, something I never had growing up.

Perhaps it's a reflection of the fact that it's much easier to help others than oneself, and some of us choose to escape solving what bothers us from within with solving what bothers us from without. It's a vaguely massive pile of garbage that we have to throw away, and doing so seems like a daunting task; besides, it would necessitate that we take responsibility for cleaning it up, and that means we'd have to act on it or feel guilty; so we escape the conflict by shifting our focus and trying to not mind the smell.

So maybe I don't have a base to complain about people not liking me when it's I who acts like a doormat for people to use. I provide social utility, but not much else. I'm the smart guy who's good with electronics, and people often ask me about stuff since they think I must know it. People tell me I'm one of the most interesting people they've ever met (if not the most), but this is where it ends, every time. Sveta - the person I've made most contact with - said as much but never did as much as message me first. Dasha - the last person I've tried to build a sincere connection with, after a year of going back and forth - said that she enjoyed the fact that she could talk about everything with me and that it was interesting, which is why she didn't want to lose contact with me but, for some reason, couldn't find time to give me.

Maybe there's something I should change about the way I treat people. I wish I knew what it is. I need a plain-language and straightforward framework to work my way off of, and I don't know where to find something like that. Any tips?

* * *

The character of Harold Finch from Person of Interest has always been one of my favourite: he's not a strong man physically, but his ethics are impecable, and that, to me, is most admirable. Having played a character as close to his as possible in Choice of Robots, a CYOA, I was reminded of the value of sincerity and following one's code with integrity, no matter the cost. Though I may not have what it takes to make my future the way I want it, it is an admirable way to walk the path.

* * *

One other aspect I'd like to talk about is my potentially drama-seeking behavior, but I'm already at a very long comment. I'll put it here so that I won't forget it next time Pubski comes.

It is as if Amazon wants you to buy stuff with much less restrain...

Fuck this country, man. It's wicked. Corrupted.

Russia not taking care of its own fucking problems is one thing. Russian getting its dirty paws into someone else's business (especially into the electing the fucking president of another god damn country kind of business) is something else entirely, and I'm not the least bit okay with that. Power games lead to nothing: you can't take power to beyond the grave... but try to persuade rich that their gold is not their savior, especially against the sins they're running away from.

I don't want to rant, but I can't just sit here and watch how the hole keeps getting deeper.

Somebody's joked before that there might be a need to raise funds to get me out of the country. If there's a university somewhere in the US or Canada willing to get me through a Linguistics degree, I'll be accepting donations happily.

A. S. I'm assuming you're the author of the post. Whether this is the case, whenever I address "you", I address the author.

All of them [grammar rules] came about because someone thought what people were doing was wrong, and convinced everyone else that was the case.

Not all of them. None of them, in fact. Those aren't grammar rules you're referring to: those are stylistic rules. Grammar rules are generally followed without exception because they're what makes the language itself.

There are, of course, noticable changes going on currently like "whom" (accusative or, in terms of English grammar, objective case) being steadily replaced by the nominative "who" or dropping the use of Present Perfect tense in favor of Past Simple ("I've just seen" vs "I just saw"). One might argue that "whom"/"who" is a stylistic issue at this point, since everybody understands what "who" stands for what in a sentence. The evolution of language is a topic in itself.

I’ve often wondered why some words are spelled so oddly.

That - the fact that someone doesn't know where the words come from, historically - has bothered me to read to a surprising degree. I've always been keenly interested in the development of language and what ties there are between the modern languages and the ancient ones. For me, of course it's "debitum": that's part of the reason we've been studying Latin! Obviously, the perspective is quite different for a layperson: most of the people don't have to deal with nor are interested in languages as a topic or in historical linguistics in particular.

Still, it feels weird that people aren't taught the origin of their main tool of communication. It seems highly superficial to me, like teaching someone not to put their fingers into an electrical socket without telling them why (electricity and the possible dangers of exposure to it). I'm not saying children should be put through a course of Latin or Greek, but a sidenote every once in a while would surely stimulate curiosity of a young and inquisitive mind about something they are most likely to use to the day they die.

One of the biggest ways languages change is through shortening.

Not simply shortening, but becoming more succinct or losing what feels to the speaker as excessive weight. There's a tabletop game, Dialect, up on Kickstarter that shows this process quite simply. Let me quote them:

In this example, the table decides that the terrible accident was when STATION SIX mysteriously blew up, for reasons that no one still fully understands. With time, we shortened STATION SIX to STAYSIX which has become our new word for any BAD OMEN or related concept.

In other words, things are getting shaped with the meaning they become associated with more and more as the time goes on. Sometimes, the original word or phrase get "trimmed" ("station six" -> "staysix") because the semantic weight associated with the trimmed parts has been lost - that is, people no longer need or use the full name to associate it with some kind of a station or the number 6.

It's a fascinating process which, again, is a topic in itself. Good job on taking a footing there.

“Ask” actually comes from the Old English “acsian”. So “ask” yourself why one is superior to the other. See my first point.

You have tripped yourself there, I'm afraid. The English Wiktionary says that it comes from "āxian, āscian" (confirmed by the The Concise Oxford Dictionary of English Etymology here and is cited by the Online Etymology Dictionary as "ascian" here) and is led towards the modern English with the verb "asken".

"Aks" is easier to pronounce than "ask", which requires effort to make that additional barrier for the air to wave around, so it's no wonder those less educated would take a simpler route. It's not in the current English grammar (more topics) to "aks" anybody - only to "ask". Why is "ask" superior, you might ask? It isn't. It is, however, very much omnipresent compared to "aks", and from my point of view as a linguist, such deviations are not in the general language that's supposed to be taught and learned. You may learn them as part of your subset of the language when you grow up or you may learn it when the subset has already settled, but it isn't something you would be teaching your child at school.

The same feeling of superiority has overcome you, perhaps? It did sound snarky.

Eskimos do not have more words for snow than other languages. That’s a myth.

Again with the not explaining stuff!

Worded by the idea coiner himself, Franz Boas:

To take again the example of English, we find that the idea of WATER is expressed in a great variety of forms: one term serves to express water as a LIQUID; another one, water in the form of a large expanse (LAKE); others, water as running in a large body or in a small body (RIVER and BROOK); still other terms express water in the form of RAIN, DEW, WAVE, and FOAM. It is perfectly conceivable that this variety of ideas, each of which is expressed by a single independent term in English, might be expressed in other languages by derivations from the same term. Another example of the same kind, the words for SNOW in Eskimo, may be given. Here we find one word, aput, expressing SNOW ON THE GROUND; another one, qana, FALLING SNOW; a third one, piqsirpoq, DRIFTING SNOW; and a fourth one, qimuqsuq, A SNOWDRIFT.

@ Handbook of American Indian languages (1911)

In other words, Boas didn't say there were many words for different kinds of snow in the Eskimo–Aleut languages. He said that there are in those languages - and there may be in others - the form of expression of what, to one language's speakers, is a singular, if broad, entity in distinct words with, to the speakers of the other language, distinct meanings. In English, we have "snow", which can then be modified in meaning to reflect its state ("falling snow", "fallen snow", "snow on the ground" etc.). In the Eskimo-Aleut languages, on the other hand, there are different words for each of those meanings - possibly because, according to linguistic relativity (aka the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis), the language we speak both affects and reflects the way we see the world.

This took me a lot of time to wrap my head around, but people do not think in languages like English or French.

I do. I've noticably switched from thinking in Russian to thinking in English in my teenage years and haven't gone back. It's the internal dialogue - a feature present in many - which is in language. There is, of course, the non-verbal part of thinking, which obviously can't be in any langauge: images, sounds, smells, tastes, emotions...

So here you go. If you have any questions, feel free to ask: I will be glad to explore the topic further.

When the sky is clear and the Sun is shining bright.

If you read my latest posts, you know quite a bit about what happened in my life in the last week. Check them out.

What I didn't say was:

I asked a girl out recently. Planning to go out tomorrow night. Hopefully she'll be able to make it (she has classes until 8 PM, like most of the uni this year). She promised nothing but said that she'll try to find time. I presume you don't say that if you aren't interested.

Had my first "man talk" today. A curator male friend of mine asked me today what I think of the female curators (about our age) "as girls". I said I didn't really think about it, which is true. He told me he liked one of the girls, Masha (the same one I wrote about in the Curatoriade posts), because she had "unusual beauty" - as in, not a model, but attractive nonetheless. I was surprised that he started that kind of a talk with me, but apparently, I grew up enough in his eyes to warrant it.

My guys (the ones I curate) have been addressing me with the respectful "you" ("Вы") until very recently. I appreciated it at first - it was nice being called that - but soon I realized that it just pushes me away from them by making me into some sort of an unreachable authority figure, and that's not what I want.

You can see how a lot of my recent thoughts revolve around curating the freshmen. It really does take a lot of my time and energy, and I may complain about it from time to time because I'm not used to it, but I've never felt so alive and full of energy.

I've met the British exchange students in TSU today. They sat on the floor, talking about stuff. Will and Arthur. I didn't exactly catch the uni they exchanged with: it goes along the lines of "Dortham" or something like that; it's in the north of England. We had a class right next to their class' room, so I came by and got to chat with them. They didn't bat an eye when I said "Hey fellas". Turned out to be really cool guys, someone whom it's nice to chat with.

Some of my groupmates talked to them, as well; they seemed to be pretty receptive to that. One of my groupmates refused outright because she was so shy about her English, despite the fact that she talks fine, and the flaws in the language that she has are negligible, definitely so by the Brits who came here to practice Russian. I got a bit of a stutter talking to them because I already had a full day of running around behind me at the time, but they both appreciated my command of English nevertheless.

I'm aiming for a student exchange the upcoming spring, as well. All I have to do is get the papers in, but it doesn't guarantee my success. I am a pretty good student, as per my exams, so this should win me some points. If I get to visit the US or Germany, that would be fantastic. My German is not very good at the moment, but hell, I'll practice hard for that kind of an opportunity.