My partner and I polished off the Red Rising series (Book #7 still to come). They're not literary masterpieces but it was a very entertaining time, they're accessible page turners. My partner is more discerning than I am, about what she reads, so I wasn't expecting her to give it a go. However one day she began the series herself, while I was reading book #4. Then, because she reads so much faster than I do, she read the first three before I finished #4, then stole book #4 from my bedside table. She read it, returned it, and carried on with the series.

I've just started House of Leaves which is uhhh a tonal shift.

I got through to book #4 and stopped, I'm not entirely sure why. I was enjoying the story! Maybe I'll revisit soon..

I really enjoyed the show, which hopefully doesn't skew the rest of the books for me, if I do return.

I love these posts Lil! I'll answer them all because they're good questions and I'm greedy.

1. Think of something about (the place where you grew up; your family; your school) that gave you your sense of the world and your place in it?

My parents treatment of my brother. He has a bleeding disorder that should probably have claimed his life over the years. A combination of the NZ healthcare system and my parents ensured he's still here today, 35 years young. I grew up the middle child, and with my older brother constantly hospitalised, my sister and I were effectively raised by nannies/carers, I'm not going to claim there wasn't any childhood resentment, but I learned quickly that this was an example I could aspire to. To just look after people. The healthcare system never charged us much, for any of the visits, surgeries, medication (maybe a $5 co-payment for prescriptions?). It was covered by the tax payer, and so I'm happy seeing my tax going towards people who need it. My parents did all they could, and they told me years down the line they felt more comfortable than they expected, focusing on their oldest child - because for whatever reason my sister and I accepted the need for this hierarchy of attention. The odd fight and tantrum, but for the most part we knew he needed more than we did.

I like to think that's carried on. I'm doing well, comparatively, so when other people need and get something I don't, I'd rather give than take.

2. Are you an open book? If so who’s your best reader. If there’s 100 pages, what page are they on?

Now more than ever. My partner reads me the best - I couldn't tell you what page she's on but I can tell you she's writing the rest of the story with me.

3. What have you learned recently about your family that wasn’t the story you told yourself?

That we are as dysfunctional as any other.

4. What important lesson did an earlier romantic relationship teach you that helps you in your current marriage?

To enjoy the little things. A previous relationship had me seeking every major thing in life, she wanted to chase big things and I had to want them as well. It burnt us both out, and my current relationship we call a solid afternoon of gardening together a good outing.

5. What is one thing you remember from all your changes in the last 10 years that made you feel vulnerable (beyond your comfort zone) or felt a little challenging.

This one is hard. I need to consider it more!

6. Are you carrying any resentment that you could let go of if you thought about it. Would it be a benefit?

Absolutely. Tiny things people have done that irked me over the years. Sometimes at night when I struggle to sleep, my brain helpfully cycles through these small encounters until I'm angry again. I will be working on letting go of things. Clinging to them does me a disservice and grants them too much time in my head. I doubt they've ever thought of me again!

7. What are some questions you have about your life now that you’d like answered in the next year.

Can I develop the courage to send any of my writing pieces off to an agent? Will my current vegetables be a bumper crop? Equal importance, now that I have them side by side..

8. What is an experience of success that you still feel good about?

Leaving my depressing and stressful office management job, to enter an IT realm where I feel 100x better about myself and my work.

9. What is your road not taken?

Oooh too many. I don't focus on it though. They're just different iterations of me. But I'm the one that's here and now, and I like it.

10. What idea or attitude did you once believe that you later discovered was false?

I once held quite nasty thoughts about the queer community in general. I've long since changed from that, but I don't forget that I was once an absolute shithead for zero reason. I consider myself a staunch ally, and thanks to the behaviour of the past I know what crap to call out when I see it.

11. When you realize that everything is made up -all religions, nations, patriarchy, democracy, etc are ideas made up by people, what then do you believe?

Just here for the ride. To enjoy what I can, with whoever I can, and hopefully leave a small segment of the world better for having me in it.

12. What does an equal relationship mean to you?

When we add to each other. I don't think a relationship will ever be equal in a percentage sense, because we're never at exactly the same levels. But her success is my success, and vice versa.

It happened - I finally got Covid. Aches, shakes, brain fog, coughing and spluttering. By all accounts it was a very mild case. I see how it wrecked the more unlucky people. Two days of flu-like symptoms, a further seven days of congestion.

Back at work now, it passed quickly once the peak was hit - but the brain fog remains. As well as the running out of energy immediately. Weightlifting 4-5 times a week? Oh no no, now you struggle to get the rubbish bins in. It's coming right though. Plus side, my employer has Covid leave baked into the system, everyone is allowed up to 10 days a year before dipping into your sick or annual leave. It's certainly nice to have it up my sleeve.

It's two weeks out from the NZ election and this year has been one of the more tiresome campaigns. Lots of shit people lying to everyone. I'm gonna cast my vote as progressively as I can and hope enough people feel the same. I suspect we will have a shift in government though, from 'left' to 'right'. It won't impact me directly, not a huge amount, but the people that I'm trying to protect with my vote will be all the more vulnerable.

I've finally worked up the courage to share some of my writing projects with impartial readers, for some constructive feedback.

It's been great. The constructive feedback is on point and highlighting things I just hadn't thought about, or noticed, or thought was working but evidently wasn't. I'm really grateful for it. Already edited things in/out/shuffling around.

The positive feedback has also been lovely to receive (as it would be). One reader assumed I was a woman because of the relatable way I was portraying the female MC in the story, then was pleasantly surprised to discover I'm a dude. Dialogue getting some good praise, realistic interpretations of how people might react to things, world feels connected and sense of both scale and time passing has been captured. Overall, it's viewed as a fun read, and each time the person provided feedback they asked for more to read over.

Another project I got feedback on was a series of short horror/sci-fi stories that I was hoping build a little anthology out of. So far each person has said "Would love to see this a full blown adventure" which I was hoping to hear. I wanted to write some interesting tidbits and capture enough of someone's imagination or interest that they'd like to see more of it, and more fleshed out.

Feels good. Onwards.

Missed out on two jobs. One they said of 55 applicants, it was between me and another person. The other person had a degree in IT, so they went with them, but they gave me excellent feedback and are currently looking for secondment opportunities for me. They said "We don't doubt you can do the job, it's just impossible to ignore the very real degree this person had, over your soft skills and potential to learn it all".

The other company they simply said they went with a more junior applicant because they thought "I'd get bored".

I know the second one is much more 'wishy-washy' in response as I answered their questions about why I wanted to change, but I enjoyed the interview process, and got good feedback overall.

It's certainly not all doom and gloom, my job is relatively safe and I'll be earning more come July - was just hoping to step into something I care about. I'll get there, just a little later on :)

I've been interviewing candidates for a position that's been vacant for a month. The person who left, reported to me, but she had been in the department since before I was born - so I let her do her thing, she'd forgotten more than I'd likely ever learn and she did stellar work.

Lots of really good candidates. I have a very informal interview style, I want to see them, not the interview version of them. So we talk, let things happen organically. I learn about them, answer anything they want to know about the role. After about 40 minutes, we're done and they're excited to talk more. I discuss with the team, then make an offer the same week.

Four people so far, all had offers, all have said "Sorry, that's actually a pay cut for me. Can we negotiate the salary?"

Unfortunately, I already did. I negotiated with my bosses to put the offer at the top of the range, and it's still a paycut. I have no other method, nothing else to offer them. We just simply don't pay well enough. The plus side of having the salary ranges publicly available is that I get to be very honest when talking about it with my team. They know what I'm on, they know what they're on. They know what a promotion would entail and they know what they could get elsewhere. Honestly I'm surprised we're only down like 6 staff given there are many opportunities floating about at the moment.

The most recent candidate moved here from Scotland, interviewed amazingly and when I made an offer, she asked for a week to see some other offers. Of course I was happy to wait. She got another offer, from my old boss no less. More money, same organization. She asked very politely if I could match that offer, as she'd like to work with me, but the other role is offering a fair bit more. I told her I couldn't and that she should take that role - it's a good one and she's a good fit and that's a really good boss. Ugh. It's all true. She went with it and I'm sure she's happy, but back to the drawing board for me.

Anyway - my own interview in a fairly entry-level IT role is up tomorrow. Just desktop support/technician. They normally want people with a degree in the field, so I'm pleased they're interviewing me. I'm not entirely sure what kind of questions I'll get asked. When I interview, it's about behavioural things. Prioritizing, difficult conversations and situations. I've never interviewed for nor interviewed someone for a more hands-on, technical role.

I'm confident it'll go well. I interview well, it's just a matter of whether or not I'm worth taking a punt on. I'm wondering if me applying for a role that is a noticeable step down in pay and responsibility would be seen as a negative to them. Maybe? Maybe not?

Ah well. Oh shit my gaming pals almost completed a raid in Destiny 2 last night. I went in almost refusing to be involved because I was not in the mood for mechanics and people getting angry at each other, but it turned into just a barrel of laughs as we fumbled our way through everything. Got a couply hours of footage, gonna edit it down to highlight how we share one braincell when we get together. And we'll, hopefully, finish the damn thing this weekend.

The recent episode with Pedro Pascal was fantastic. Josh Brolin's one is up there too as well as Charlize Theron's.

I'd agree with their reasoning behind the steady success. They're consistent in timing and pretty consistent in quality. At the end of it, I like seeing these big names appear decidedly human, in a good way. They swear, they sweat, they get runny noses and cry. They laugh with a full mouth of food and at the end of the line-up, they'll answer pretty much any fuckin' question thrown at them.

The second I stopped caring about dating/relationships I met my now partner of 6 years. Not saying I hope you get blindsided by the 18 wheeler of love, but it does tend to happen when you cast your eyes elsewhere!

6 years with my partner last week. Unfortunately coincided with the passing of our cat, but we went out for dinner this week. Then got ice cream and drove to the beach at night, listened to the waves hammer the shore. Upside of living on an island, you're never far from a beach. Downside of living on an island during a climate crisis, eventually the beach comes to you..

Work is on a hiring freeze thanks to yet another fucking review being 'executed'. So our usual manager team of 6 is down to 4, about to be 3, with no proper replacements on the horizon because people want stability in these wild and wacky times. My own team of 7 is working fine, but I know the stress signs. By the time the review is done, we'll be down a few more. Nothing I can do except advocate for my group, and hope the powers that be aim for a functional business, rather than cut more staff to save miniscule costs.

While I was on leave during March, my remaining colleagues met with HR and explained the ongoing issues with my boss. So now her boss, and HR know the full extent. Nothing is happening yet, as they want to talk to me as well. I'm the sole male colleague and they want to know if I've been getting any different treatment.

Building a tunnel house for my garden, a neighbor in our cul de sac showed me her absolutely stunning setup, four tunnel houses, home made compost bins, every plant under the sun is flourishing. So I'm gonna become best pals with the retirees in our street cause fuck they can garden. Growing kumera/sweet potato down south is supposed to be nightmarish but she showed me her collection and now I want in on this.

Writing is going well, starting the editing of the first big project, and writing a second one. It's fun. I never set any daily goal, but I tend to write about 1-2k words each session regardless, and plan a little for the next session. Current story is a sci-fi tale focusing on a weedy logistics administrator accidentally assigned to a warship full of angry soldiers. They launch into various battles and he's along for the ride. It's dumb. But it's fun dumb.

The gaming crew has settled back into Destiny 2. I argued. I didn't want to go down that route again. But it is fun with friends, the gunplay is smooth and I get to be a bit of a menace and let off steam. Currently also playing through that Star Wars: Fallen Order. I heard it was a buggy mess at launch, but it runs well on my PC. I've never been a huge Star Wars fan, so I'm going in with pretty open eyes about the whole thing. So far it's been fine.

Under $1,000 to go on my student loan. Then that's an automatic payrise.. .That I will chuck directly at my mortgage.

This weekend past I travelled up the island to do two things:

1) Attend Dramfest the NZ whisky festival

2) Go to the screening of Back to the Future, accompanied by the Christchurch Symphony Orchestra.

So uh, trip report? I guess?

I travelled up with my friend and his father. My friend and I would be sharing a hotel room. No biggie at all.

Until the snoring began. It was like 3 rusty chainsaws spinning around the room. I've had broken bones I'd welcome back with open arms if it meant distracting me from that clarion call from hell.

4am I wound up in the hotel lobby, working on my next story because, why not try and be productive? 6am I ventured out into the early morning breeze to find some food, and when I got back at 7am, my friends father was in the lobby browsing his phone for breakfast options. He saw my face and knew immediately. He opened with "He's fucking loud, isn't he?" with considerable sympathy. The day kicked off quite well, the whiskies were set to be poured at 1pm, so we went shopping. Walked into a store that sold rolexes because my friend is really into them, got talking to the staff there. At first we got some odd looks because he is covered head to toe in tattoos and wearing the shirt of a black metal band he likes, while I was wearing rugby shorts and looked entirely beffudled by the items on sale.

Anyway we got talking to one of the staff there. He noticed my accent in particular, a Southland accent, where the "r" is rolled aggressively. Work becomes "Worrrrrrk". He asked why we were up and we explained, the whisky! He stood from his table, disappeared for a moment and emerged with a bottle of Kavalan, a Taiwanese whisky I'd never heard of let alone tried. So at 10am we had started drinking. We never bought anything, he just poured a few drinks and talked to us about what we wanted to try. Turns out all the rolexes are so far on back order and my friend would be waiting 6 months to a year to get what he was after. I've no idea if that's accurate, but we got drinks out of it and went on our way.

I visited Scorpio books, because it's an amazing book store with a huge variety. Picked up a couple I'll chuck into the next bookski thread that crops up.

1pm rolled round. The line to get into the convention went a few blocks, but the staff were very efficient and we basically walked non-stop to the front once the line began to move.

--

Whisky. I took notes in a wee book they provided, and my chicken scratches read as follows:

- Glenfarclas 12 years:

'Tasty, why so famous?'

- Cadrona Full flight:

'Fucking excellent. Going back for more.'

'$275 for a 500ml bottle. Unsure if feasible. Will try again.'

- Glenturrent peat smoked, 10 years:

'The name has the word Turret, so I had to try. Not great, but not awful. Mellow compared to my usual peated faves'

- Ardbeg, Uigeadail:

'The GOAT. Like being punched in the face by a campfire.'

- Kavalan classic:

'Tasty. Hints of drinking at 10am in a rolex store.'

- Starward Nova:

'Made in Melbourne. Very sweet, welcoming. Could offer this to a few people. Or hoard it for myself.'

- Teeling Blackpitts:

'Not bad. Weak smoky flavour, would like more. Ardbeg revisit?'

- Famous Grouse:

'Lol'

- Buffalo Trace Stagg JR:

'Strong, a little overpowering. Oh it's 64%. That'll do it.'

- Glenfiddich Project XX:

'Tasty, about what I expected'

At that point I had tried my fill, and knowing I had to attend the BTTF orchestra that night, headed off to meet my brother for an early dinner. We went to a beer garden, in the upstairs section of the nearby market place (seriously, hotel, convention, marketplace and BTTF all within about 500m of each other, it was amazing). Pizza, beer to cleanse the palate, and we were off!

--

Back to the Future.

It was awesome. There was a model DeLorean in the foyer, I touched the wing door that was open. Soooo many people dressed as Marty McFly. Jeans, sneaker, the life-preserver. So many dorks thinking they're gonna drown! The orchestra were absolutely killing it, all the music was spot on. The conductor, at the beginning, encouraged us to clap, cheer and laugh whenever we felt like it. They seemed to be having such a blast performing.

During this show, my friend messaged me asking if I could stay at my brothers rather than the hotel room. He had hit it off with a girl and wanted to take her back to the room. I'm sure he felt bad about asking, but I was ecstatic. "Absolutely" I replied, and after the show I gathered my things to have a proper nights sleep. The next day, rather than being disheveled and angry, I woke at 10am, helped my brother setup his lounge for the upcoming UFC fights (He's a huge fan, I just like the sudden and insistent advertising drops by the commentators. "This round bought to you by Toyo Tyr-OH MY GOD WITH THE GUILLOTINE!"). Watched fights, wrote some more, had many snacks. Just had a lazy day. Eventually I had to drive down south though, so I was taken back to the hotel, met with my friend who unfortunately had not been successful in his venture. He was feeling quite bad now that he was sober, sans girl and also sans his friend. But I didn't mind. Not one bit. Plus I got to hang with my 8 month old nephew, who has the most kissable cheeks you ever did see.

So yeah, good trip. Lotta whisky. Lotta music.

The phrase we use around the office is "tyrannosaurus arms"

I'm stealing that. I can picture it, it's perfect and I'm stealing it. Actually, we've traded words before. Literally. I do use 'shitcamel' when the need arises.

I really have to agree with what you're describing. I can make the printers work in the office. I can make the printers work in other offices. Converting to pdf, yep. Formatting a pdf.. Actually anything with fucking Adobe seems to be wizardry to a lot of my colleagues. My very smart, medically qualified colleagues. I showed someone how to use a pivot table in excel and I think she sees me as some basement dwelling, DnD playing ubernerd. Which is only half true.

There was one moment that will always stand out. I had just helped shift an entire department from one area on campus to another. Took me like 2 weeks of overtime, because I was doing my usual job, on top of getting them from A to B (it was my office too, but they're academics and are honestly just too busy to help). So during this time, I had arranged the moving company, received and created the several hundred boxes that the academics would use to shift their items, arranged for phone and internet ports to be shifted/activated/deactivated as needed, setup the dreaded printers in the new area, and altered the signage and website so people knew where the fuck we were now.. This is just to paint a picture of my mental state at the time of this specific memory.

I had turned up early, to help cart everything into each respective office. I had a map of the new digs, so I knew who was going where, and I had labelled the boxes so myself and the moving company knew what rooms needed which items. All going smoothly. About four hours into this, I'm a sweaty but accomplished mess. Cue, our academic and palliative care specialist. A practicing Dr when she isn't teaching or researching. Very bright, very driven. I hear her rootling around in her office, and her voice echoes down the hallway. She's a rare American on our staff, so her voice is distinct. She also shortens my name from five letters to three, so it's even more distinct. She calls out. I trudge into her office, probably trailing an extension cord and an errant HMDI cable:

Her: "Hey my computer won't turn on. I thought you set everything up before we got in?"

Me: "I sure did. Might have forgotten something though, I've done this office and the other 20."

Her: "Oh man that's some work. Can you have a look for me?"

She stands from her computer and offers me her seat. I don't take it. I know what the problem is. I press the power button on her desktop. It whirrs to life and her screens light up. She hasn't noticed what I've done, only that things are working.

Her: "Oh amazing! Thank you!"

Me (already halfway out the door): "No worries!"

Again, she's super bright. Has a wealth of life and professional experience to call on. But she didn't think to try turning the fucking thing on before calling for me. I'm 100% enabling them, I know it. But being the 'IT guy' without being in IT does have its perks. IT love me because I keep tickets from being logged in my areas, fixing the problem before it reaches their overwhelming task list. As a result, when I have a genuine IT problem and raise a ticket, I get priority. Same day response when 3 days is the norm.

Still, tyrannosaurus arms indeed.

How many Welsh Corgi's across are these galaxies?

Seriously though I fucking love space. I have no mind for numbers, so pursuing anything with the cosmos as a career was out for me, but fuck I could read about this shit all day.

six potential galaxies that emerged so early in the universe’s history and are so massive they should not be possible under current cosmological theory.

However accurate this might be, the concept is what I love about science. Being wrong is exciting. Sometimes terrifying. But learning more all the same.

Cyclone Gabrielle basically tore the North Island asunder with winds and flooding, and down in the dirty south we're sitting under summer skies and under voluntary water restrictions. Two extremes that we're going to see more and more of..

Our wee cat, Elvis, is going through a run of bad health. We took him for a checkup and he had A) an ear infection, B) high blood pressure and C) stage three kidney disease. Ear infection is cleared up, the blood pressure is being handled but the kidney disease is essentially going to be the thing that gets him, one way or another. I've lost pets before, to old age and health, but my partner hasn't. She's already dreading losing him. We're not going to have kids, so pets are the closest we'll get and we pamper our cat with that in mind.

We know his poor health has been exacerbated by the fact that he was treated poorly by his previous owners (no check ups, no diet concerns, and he was abandoned when they sold their house. He had to have 6 teeth removed when we took him in for his first checkup!), so we were always expecting an uphill battle. Just trying to keep my partner focused on the fact that we have given him his best years and he's been super comfortable, happy and safe since we rescued him.

We still have time, possibly years. Just trying to appreciate having this wee creature who has attuned his body clock to our own. He gets up when we do in the mornings and he's at the door at 5.15pm when we come home from work. If we come home any earlier than 5.15pm he's disheveled from a nap and all confused. He knows dinner time means he gets some tasty food too so when I'm cooking he's at my feet waiting for it. He has to be as close as possible to us, preferably laying over our heart so he can hear the beat (apparently cats find it comforting?) He's never swiped or hissed at us, even when he's clearly scared, and when we shifted house all he needed was us in amongst the furniture and he adjusted within a couple of days. He's just really cool.

On a confusing note, the valuation on my house arrived this week. Up to $540k, some of which is accounting for an apparent "$45k of home improvements since 2021", and given we bought the place in 2021 and I can confirm I've only installed raised beds, a coat hook and mounted the TV, I'm unsure where that extra is coming from. Like, yay increased valued, but nay increased rates and continuing the fucking horrid housing issue in NZ.

On a more positive note, my student loan has about a grand remaining, of $42k. That'll be great to knock that in the head. Thank fuck I never had to pay interest on it!

Finished up:

On Writing by Stephen King - very much enjoyed it.

Elements of Style (admittedly a very short book) by William Strunk Jr. Something I'll return to when writing as opposed to chewing on it like other books I'm reading.

A Closed and Common Orbit by Becky Chambers - another wholesome tale.

Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo - I had been waiting to read this, so was super chuffed to get my mitts on it the week it came out.

Next on my list:

Stein on Writing by Sol Stein (cheers for the heads up on it, kleinbl00.)

The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. Le Guin (for my workplace book club, I'm excited to tuck in.)

Record of a Spaceborn Few, again by Becky Chambers. I'm getting through her works by sprinkling them in when I want something light. Basically if I re-read anything by Joe Abercrombie, I'll need her books as a palate cleanser.

Pondering:

Anything by Guy Gavriel Kay. Apparently it'll be right up my alley, keen to explore.

Tis the longest day of the year in NZ.

Last day of work for me and I'm clearly knackered. Trying to do too much. Example:

My mum messaged me this morning "Were you able to buy some BBQ goodies? Are [partner's family] coming along?" I misread this entirely and called her to say that we had confirmed my partner's family were attending Xmas with our family some time ago, and they had sorted accommodation etc.

Turns out she meant for an Xmas Eve BBQ that I had forgotten about and failed to invite my partner's family to.

But when I read the message I immediately went to "Someone's fucking forgotten the Xmas day plans and I need to organize everything" in 0.4 seconds, when I had absolutely no reason to, and it was actually my own fault for forgetting to mention it to the party in question.

So yeah, I'm snappy and cranky and god I want to sleep. Plus side is, everyone is attending a nice Xmas Eve BBQ now. I'm grateful that my family gatherings are genuinely fun and exciting times. We don't have any major drama, or people who don't get along, so I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone and cracking a few beers in the Summer sun. Maybe I'll nick Dad's BBQ tongs and turn the sausages when he's not looking.

---

Also I just read this in today's news: https://www.odt.co.nz/regions/central-otago/super-turd-cadogan-celebrates-wastewater-project One of our regional mayors dressed up as a giant piece of shit to celebrate a wastewater milestone. Onya.

And Happy Summer Solstice from away down here.

We're on 37.5 in our organization, I'd happily switch to a 4 day week, and even our HR staff are pushing for it. Doubt it'll happen though.

Most of our roles are becoming increasingly remote-capable, but our employer wants us in person, bums on seats at all times. The reasoning will be a mixture of trust issues, keeping up appearances, and the gigantic amount of money they have in leases of buildings. They've paid for the space, they'll want us making use of it.

But as they throw the term "financial crisis" around, force people to absorb work with no compensation, and host stupid fucking condescending workshops where we're asked as managers to "band together" in the face of insurmountable workforce losses... Something has to give.

2x resignations from my team this week. Both off to greener pastures, but it still sucks. I can teach whoever steps up, how to do the job, but it's the 'fit' that I'll be hunting for. They're both exceedingly nice, organized and calm under pressure.

Christmas plans are afoot. 2021 Christmas saw us huddled in Christchurch Women's Hospital, as my mother had an aneurysm on the 13th of December. She was operated on, recovered and is kicking life's ass once more. That said, while she is 'hosting' Christmas this year, we're all making sure she doesn't actually have to do anything. All extended family is driving down, we're all bringing the food, Dad will handle in-house logistics. She just needs to be there; we'll take care of the rest.

On that note - it's warming up something wild here in NZ. Maybe a snowy Christmas is overrated, but I'd love to have one just once in my life!

Gym related/1st world whinge: it is so fucking hard to find motivation once you've hit all your goals. I did everything I could to get stronger, to hit certain numbers, and now that it's done I'm just sort of... In maintenance mode. I have one potential goal that I was happy ignoring, but now that my commitment is waning, I might look at it. 100kg overhead press, coming at ya.

I think over time I just eased away from gym training. I did what I set out to do, and now I have new goals in new areas. I still train, there's just no intensity. And I'm usually thinking about my vege patch, or writing, or house renovations.

Back to family stuff. This thing has been doing the rounds since my grandfather died in 2019. While his daughters (my mother amongst them) were sorting out his items and selling the house, they came across this little ceramic number. Each of the three sisters declined to take it, and a playful argument emerged. My mother opted to take it to settle things, but she swiftly started a game. The goal is to sneak this little statue into another family member's house, and leave it there for them to find. Once left, it's on the new owner to sneak it into another member's house.

The most recent movements: My mother snuck it into my cousins house after said cousin had just given birth to her first child, my cousin snuck it into her mother's house when visiting, and her mother, snuck it into mine when she visited me last year to see my new house. I have it now, and I've been biding my time. It's going to travel further than ever before, 5 hours up the island to my brother's house. It might even skip islands from there, over the Cook Straight.

Anyway, hope you're all doing well.

The week off work has been productive. Veggies all taken care of, lawns maintained, chapters pushed out on my projects, and a surprising amount of Overwatch 2 played.

However.

There's this one cat in my neighborhood, I'm pretty sure I know which one, who has been leaving a steaming pile of shit on the top of one of my raised beds each morning.

I say on top of, because I anticipated cats treating them as a giant litter box, and fashioned a mesh covering to protect the veggies from any attacks, fecal or otherwise. This cat? He walks onto the mesh, lays a turd on it and leaves. So I wake to find a suspended pile of crap nestled above my potential potatoes.

I even set the mesh up in such a way that it sags when touched, to hopefully startle the cat or make it feel uneven enough not to sit there. It doesn't care. Bombs away.

So I'm scraping it off each morning considering other options. I can make proper hooped coverings with pipe and netting but every store nearby doesn't have what I need, for now.

The war continues.

During this week off, I checked my emails sporadically despite knowing I shouldn't. But I have a team and I want to make sure they're okay. They know what they're doing, shit they don't need a manager, but occasionally one panics and if I can help, even on leave, I will. I logged in to find a series of emails from an academic freaking out that I'm on leave, cc'ing my manager in (big fucking no no) and wondering where everything is for a clinical hire she was wanting to make. Suggesting that this is a poor time to take leave when she needs me there.

The work was already done . It was done two weeks ago and I kept her appraised of everything. She just ignored every email and phone call until I was gone, it seemed. Thankfully my manager, in a rare moment of backing me up, explained that I was on top of it, here's their contract (that she also received) and that I have to take leave because I have accrued so much HR sees it as a massive liability, and I accrue so much because I tend to never take leave out of fear of an academic hurting themselves in their confusion.

It's just past 8am here. Time to see what presents have been left amongst my spuds.

I sometimes watch deadlines approach with an almost morbid curiosity. That's happened more the longer I'm in my current job and likely linked to my decreasing ability to care about it.

I've realized if I had to relocate to the USA and got to pick where to live, I think I'd go with PNW. It's so moody, I love it. It looks very in line with where I live in New Zealand, and I'm a sucker for a familiar landscape.

I'm grumpy, I've hit my gym goals and I'm a little lost, I'm otherwise not hugely stressed et I'm grumpy all the time at the moment. Be kind to yourselves!

- Work:

Completing work to the best of my abilities while attempting to extricate myself from the area as smoothly as possible. It's performance review time, so I'm gathering all the excellent feedback from people (most are aware of my situation) to be directly inserted into the review. If I have to stick around a while longer, I want that pay rise to compensate.

- Life:

Almost a year in our house. Spring has arrived in NZ, so time to plot the garden and get stuck in. We have more space than we know what to do with at the moment, which means I get to plant but also build some new beds or install a shed or something. Empty space. Lots of potential. Interest rates have been climbing, but we're not in panic mode. We re-fix late next year so will go over out options closer to the time.

My brother and his fiancée had their baby (Cooper) in July, I'm yet to meet the critter but I'll head up the island this month to finally see him. Looking forward to that!

- Books:

Currently reading Jade City by Fonda Lee, I think I like it. Slow to start but I'm enjoying the journey. Recently finished The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers, a nice change of pace to my usual reading. Wholesome, funny, slice-of-life. While on holiday in June I started and finished John Gwynne's Shadow of the Gods and Hunger of the Gods and now I just need the third book to arrive so I can get on with my life..

- Games:

Finished Cult of the Lamb, been playing Risk of Rain 2 with friends and that's a good amount of silly fun. Fiiiiinally started Disco Elysium and having an absolute blast with it. Occasionally dropping into Battlefield 2042/V depending on who's playing what, but my love of those games has gone since 2042 dropped. I don't even enjoy being 'good' at it anymore, it's just not fun. Aforementioned friends are gathering online this Friday for a Phasmophobia night, beers and spooks.

- Writing:

Working on my big, big, big project (it'll take like.. a long time). But also have been tinkering with a bunch of horror short-stories. I've completed about 7 of them so far, and I've been using single word prompts and challenges to make things interesting.

- Health:

Haven't had a panic attack since 2018. Proud of that! I cancelled my gym membership, sucks to lose the social aspect but I do visit occasionally just to say hi. I've slowly built a home gym in the garage and while it's expensive to start, the equipment should last the better part of a lifetime so, in a few years things will be paying for themselves.

Aw what a lovely idea. If I'm doing the time conversion right, 6PM EST for me is ... noon Friday the 11th?

Time travel yo.

Cheeky little shits keep trying to escape quarantine here in NZ. Running the risk of ruining everything we've achieved so far, so they can visit a supermarket. No community transmission in like 60(?) days now.

Senua's Sacrifice is still on my mind. Video games are often on my mind but this one has really stuck with me after completing it. Throughout 8 hours I genuinely felt horror, elation, hopelessness, determination and even a little bit of peace. It was an absolutely wild experience.

The group of people I regularly game with have a very active Discord server, I talk to them more than my local group of friends sometimes. I caved a bought a webcam as they had never seen me in about 7 months of knowing me, and they all tend to use webcams when talking or doing their DnD campaign at least. Turned it on and they all had a beer/drink in hand and they clinked their cameras for me, it was really sweet. The absolute nerds.

New Zealand is carrying on as best it can - job losses are starting to mount though, the next wave of covid-19 related crap is fast approaching.

Some 54% of workers surveyed report management telling them not to discuss wages with other workers

Fuuuuuuck that. Both my previous and current job had most of the company payscales known to everyone. Shit my current one you can even find online without being a staff member - It'll have to do with both roles being government funded though, need transparency etc.

Having said that, they're still actively trying to fuck people over here - I need to join the union.

Question for the 'Muricans - do you think that, if Bernie was to run against Trump in the big dance this year, would he stand a chance?

Liike Goobster said, I like the world Bernie paints. But looking at the political spectrum over in the States, compared to here in NZ, it seems like Bernie is going to be way too 'left' to ever get enough support around the nation.

In NZ, our two major parties are about centre left and centre right in our spectrum, but they'd both appear to be heavily left in the American version of it. Just from watching things unfold, Bernie would have a solid spot in our country, but in America? Dunno.

I have plenty about my own father but I need time to pick the right one - so for now I'll do my favourite story about my mother's dad - who passed away November 2019. Grandad was named Donald, but none of us grandkids could say Grandad or Donald properly so one child settled on "Dons" and it stuck. It's even on his headstone now :)

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Dons went to the same University I went to, and the one I now work at. Shit we even attended the same High School and lived on neighbouring farms on the Clutha Delta.

At University he did his Masters in Music Composition. He was an incredible pianist, which is a key part of this story.

So after finishing his Masters, he and 4 of his friends planned their OE to Australia - they hopped on a ship leaving Dunedin and eventually landed in Sydney. After exploring the city a bit, one friend got the wild idea to have a race down south, to Melbourne. Everyone split into pairs except Dons who had a masterplan he wanted to try by himself. One pairing opted to try and bus down, the other pair tried hitchiking. Soon after they had left, Dons headed back to the port they had arrived in, found a ship headed for Melbourne and offered to play the piano during the nights in exchange for lodgings and food. They accepted, and he spent a leisurely time sailing down the coast taking turns with other musicians at entertaining the wealthy guests. He arrived 3 days before anyone else, left a note at the CBD post office that read "Eat my dust - find me at the [local watering hole]". The two other pairings of friends made their way in and enjoyed the rest of their trip swapping experiences.

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Knowing what I do of my grandfather, he seemed the least likely to ever try some wacky stunt like that. But I've only ever known him as the master gardener and pianist, an ex-teacher with a stern frown when you misbehaved but nevertheless a warm embrace when you arrived.

It was just quite cool knowing he pulled shit like that in his heyday, just like any other youth with life ahead of him.

I will continue pondering something on my own father!

Aw looks like a great time, always pleased to see meetups like this.

That sounds like a fantastic night.

Topped off, we had wonderful service all throughout the night. The place started off really busy but our server was on the ball the entire time - remembered everything, even the smaller requests and weird drinks we were trying and who ordered what. You know how sometimes the staff will come along with meals and say the name so whoever ordered it can indicate it was theirs? No need for her, she just scooted by and popped them down without having to double check - spot on.

At the end, I mentioned to her at the counter that it felt odd not being able to tip (it's not done here in NZ) for such awesome service and all she said was: "Just come back and eat here again, that's our mark of great service".

So we did!