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by insomniasexx 4 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: March 25, 2015

Alright. So I'm going to attempt to be real without telling you to go out and rape. Let's see how that goes. (it's only 3am).

Girls like...certain guys. Call them the assholes or whatever. Say "girls don't like nice guys". It's not exactly that but it's what those statements are talking about. There are just some guys that I wouldn't ever be sexually or emotionally/relationshippy interested in. Yes they can be the nicest guy. Yes they can have everything I would ever want. But there has got to be some sexual chemistry. And I don't mean sexual as in literal penis in vagina sex sex. Just like...sexual in nature.

Whenever I hear the words "tell her my true feelings", I cringe. No guy has ever told me his "true feelings" until waaay later. There isn't like a couch scene where you watch a movie and then go "hey I like you" and then you live happily ever after. That is only going to result in awkwardness and force both of you to acknowledge the elephant in the room. In fact, I would argue that if any guy I ever dated or slept with had started with "hey I want to tell you something...I like you", I would not have dated or fucked him.

You know you like her. Trust me, she knows you like her. If the sexual relationship emotional shit isn't there, then it simply isn't there. You can't force it and trust me, even if you could, you wouldn't want it. Relationships and hook ups and all that fun stuff is only fun stuff when it happens naturally.

Furthermore, that "interested in a relationship" line is bullshit. Ignore it...sort of. I have used that phrase so many damn times when I wasn't interested in a guy. However, I have never gotten into a relationship when I wanted one. I have always unanimously (me, my heart, my brain, and my lady-bits that is) decided that relationships are bad and there are better things to spend my time and energy on. But I find myself in them anyways and, for the most part, it's been pretty great.

So, she could be saying "yo, I'm not interested in him" or "yo, this isn't the time or place for a relationship but if something good enough pops up unexpectedly I'll probably forget I said that."

So here's my advice:

1. Leave that shit alone. It isn't worth it. You are going to look back on this and laugh one day. Trust me.

Fully expecting you not to do that....

2. Stop playing the friend game. Don't be mean to her and don't ignore her outright. Simply stop chasing her for a week. Fuck the words. Fuck the over-thinking. Don't call her. Don't text her. Don't snapchat her a picture of your dick or whatever you kids are doing these days. See what she does. My current boyfriend chased me for like 3 weeks and I spontaneously replied to his texts and occasionally our free time lined up and we got to see each other. I wasn't that interested and I was really fucking busy and quitting my job and stuff. I had higher priorities. But the second my phone stopped buzzing ever morning, noon, and night... I texted him. I texted him because I missed talking with him and because I no longer took it for granted that he would text me.

3. Now, if she starts hitting you up, that's a good sign. If she doesn't -> #1.

4. Assuming you are either ignoring #3's direction to go to #1 or she's hitting you up...play it cool. Be responsive. Be nice. Forget to respond to a text or something. I don't know. Stop making her feel like she's the center of your universe for a second. I truly hate saying this because it can be so misconstrued as the "girls only like assholes" but here it goes anyways: I have never wanted to be with a guy when I was the center of his universe. Even when I'm in a relationship. I am fully aware how central I am/was to my boyfriend / ex's lives. But knowing a guy has better things to do than attempt to stick his stick in me is probably one of the biggest turn ons. It means he has found one thing more interesting than sex and that makes him much more interesting.

5. This is the hardest part. You must now force her...without forcing her literally....to get out of friend mode and into something more mode. Usually, I would suggest a nice alcoholic evening and dancing but that doesn't seem to be your style. So instead find something to do...like really do....and ask her to do it with you. And don't fucking take the pussy way out and go, "I got tickets for me and my friend and my friend bailed...wanna go?" But straight up and say, "Would you want to go to this show with me?" Now she knows there is a show. And she knows you want to go with her. If she says no...she #1. If she makes an excuse (I'm busy that day), see #1. If she says yes....then report back and I'll figure out how the fuck all that above shit worked and give you more advice. If you think her excuse is really valid, you can report back too. But I'll probably direct you to #1 anyways.

As for things to do...fuck the movies or anything where you can't talk. Shows really aren't that great as first dates but they work because you typically have a long drive and time in between sets. Fuck dinner because it's way too boring. Look for things like going to the beach (although that's easy to turn into a bunch of friends instead of the two of you) or going to an art show or something where you can engage, talk, and have things to talk about. That's another problem with dinner. There is literally nothing to talk about unless you are fabulous at small talk or happen to converse really, really well with each other.

PS: Also, I know the above was a lot of fucking and sex and stuff but it's all the same, regardless of whether you are trying to get with her or get with her. Even if you don't have sex, plan on having sex, it's still a sexual dance and human nature and stuff.

PSS: I am giving this advise solely on my understanding of the situation from this one post. Sorry if I missed some key detail last week that would make all that advice not apply. Link me to some backstory comments - you don't have to explain why I'm wrong. ;)

PSSS: Nothing. About. Sex. Or. Girls. Will. Ever. Be. Rational. So. Stop. Thinking. So. Damn. Much. ;)

Bring less stuff. Seriously. Pack your bag. Unpack. Throw half away. Pack the remaining half. Unpack. Throw half away. Then you are ready. Maybe.

Make friends.

Fall in love with Skype and Google Hangouts. Stay in touch with people stateside, but not obsessively so. Download whatsapp, chances are you'll be on a plan with not unlimited text messages. Prepare for terrible Internet prices and speeds due to lack of infrastructure. A USB dongle is a better deal than a Internet plan that you typically have stateside.

Get a world unlocked phone here if you are looking to get a new phone. If not, it's not bad to get your phone unlocked there. Kiosks in the malls all do it. I recommend Nexus 5 if you are looking for new world unlocked phone. I love mine - plus it is relatively cheap.

Drink more. Listen more. Engage more.

Flights via Hong Kong are occasionally cheaper than going directly from Sydney to the States. Keep an eye on these and you could score a free trip to Hong Kong when you come home to visit.

Order flat whites at the coffee shop. Don't put sugar in that shit.

Never say no to adventures or things that make you scared. If you are apprehensive and it's not because the activity in question is physically dangerous, it's a sure sign you should do it.

Things to bring rather than buy: make up, cosmetics, hair products, guitars, electronics, things from Victoria Secret, and anything else imported from the states. Things are just more expensive in Australia. I know the above are mostly female based but you get the idea.

Things not to buy or bring: OTC medicine (Australia's versions are better and same price range). Google us brand names to find the medicinal name or Australia brand name before you go to the pharmacy. Pharmacy workers are really sweet and will help you though too. It's quite different than here. Plus codeine in everything.

Money: I had bank of America when I was there and they partnered with one of the biggest banks there, meaning I could withdraw cash for free,rather than 2 atm fees and a foriegn transaction fee. Walk into your bank. Talk to them. If they can't offer you no fees on Oz, get a new bank. Seriously.

If you think you can handle a credit card, get a credit card with no foreign transaction fee. http://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/top-credit-cards/no-foreign-transaction-fee-credit-card/ There's only a couple out there but they are worth it. If you don't qualify for them, go get a chase freedom csrd TODAY. Use ~20% of your credit every month and pay it off every month. Before you leave, walk into chase and attempt to get them to upgrade you to their no foreign fees card.

by insomniasexx 14 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: What do you worship?

I worship this life I live. A life full of ups and downs and unknowns and knowns.

I worship the fact that I have choices. This life of choice where I have control over what I do, who I speak to or don't speak to, what I learn, what jobs I take and don't take, who I piss off, who I befriend, what I listen to on the radio, what I watch before bed, what I buy at the grocery store.

I worship the Internet as well as the people around me in real life. The idiots and the trolls and the nice people and the mean people and my family and my boyfriend. The people on Hubski who never seem to piss me off. The knowledge they offer - even the idiots - that gives me the ability to learn new things and make different choices.

by insomniasexx 63 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: How Do You Know You're Really in Love?x 2

When you are a better person and the world is a better place when you are together. When the way you feel, your confidence, your happiness, your everything is just a bit more shiny. When bad things aren't so bad and when stressful situations aren't so stressful. When it's you two vs the world. When not being together makes experiences more dull - not because you are dependent on one another but because you want to share the emotions from every experience. When you want the other person to be happy, feel amazing, experience amazing things, learn and grow and all that good stuff and their happiness, growth, experiences are as important to you as your own happiness. When it makes you happy to see them happy. When your wellbeing and their wellbeing are closely intertwined and you would do just about anything to make them well. When sacrifices aren't sacrifices when it's for them. When really bad movies don't annoy you because just holding or touching or being with the other person makes up for the horrid movie. When you catch yourself smiling uncontrollably remembering something for yesterday or last week. When you can just look at each other and be like "yup this is cool. This is all I need." when the urge to get shitfaced or smoke or whatever no longer seem as fun because it's more fun to remember the entire night and enjoy each other. When going to sleep is something you look forward to because it means you're going to be with them and no one else and nothing else and no one else can touch that. When you can look at each other and you don't have to say anything, you just know. When you stop trying so darn hard. When you don't wonder what else is out there or who else is out there or mind that this is going to be the only person you'll fuck forever and that actually sounds okay.

I don't know. There are so many little things. The big one is like... You just are good. You just are happy and content and alive. And you don't wonder if it's love or if it's forever or what they think of you. It's that moment when everything is just in place and right and there's no hesitation or questioning or doubts or insecurities. It's like the sky is blue and your boss is a shithead and you're in love. It's simple. It's so simple.

I'm. Like. A. Fucking. Hallmark. Fucking. Card. Shoot. Me. Now. :D

by insomniasexx 148 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Goodbye Hubski, Thanks for Tryingx 2

bolds are notes that I added after writing it initially

Alright. I'm hungover as balls. I'm upset that I'm too hungover to enjoy Halloween again tonight. I'm mad that it fucking downpoured last night and I was stuck in Hollywood...in the rain....with 10,000 other people trying to get Uber/Lyft/Cabs/etc. I'm pissed that the cab ride we finally got cost us $106. I'm really upset that the costume I spent 2 full weeks creating and sewing (I don't even know how to sew!) was worn for 6 hours total and is now soggy.

And now I am sad and mad about this. The shallow, hungover side of me wants to respond "oh fuck off", hide it from my feed, and not deal with it. This is the third post in as many months that address similar themes in similar tones. All have left me feeling increasingly shitty and concerned.

One thing that worries me is that this is suddenly a pattern. I'm not sure if these posts are partially the result of the previous posts - are they like suicides, where one person jumps from the 18th floor of the library, and suddenly everyone decides to kill themselves by jumping from the 18th floor of the library? But, one person jumping doesn't cause everyone to jump - individuals still independently, and for their own reasons, decide to die. The pattern only lies in the method.

Which is why it's not okay for me / us not deal with this. Obviously, something is going on that is causing people to feel this way. Even if I don't agree with and don't respect the choice to antagonistically and selfishly peace out in this manner, I'm going to do my best to understand what is causing people to feel like this. You can't keep going if there is a problem and you can't fix the problem without knowing what the problem is.

Just like em's post. Just like the last post of someone leaving. I'm going to start by saying:


You have some valid points. Hubski is not perfect. Hubski does not perfectly encapsulate "a place for thoughtful discussion" all of the time. Sidenote: I'm not sure when the tagline became something that people are are using as evidence that Hubski is a failure. It's what Hubski aspires to be. It's what Hubski's goal is, has always been, and will always be. Perhaps it should be more explicit: "Hubski: where we try to be the place for thoughtful discussion but utterly fail.)


I'm also going to explain something not everyone knows. A while back, I fucking blew up at kb. It was not one of my finest moments. It was pretty terrible, and I managed to let loose on a comment of his that definitely didn't deserve it. (like...seriously...I could've picked any other comment and, while it wouldn't have justified the way I handled the situation, it would have at least made a tiny bit of sense. Nope. I like to do things the retarded way.) But at that time, I shared some of your sentiments about kb. I thought it was deliberately and purposefully pissing people off. I imagined he survived exclusively by drinking fat glasses of malice and I saw each comment as a steaming stream of malice piss... all over my face.


While my attack on kb was pretty much uncalled for on every level, the reasons I felt the way I felt about him were even more wrong. I can say, without a doubt, that kb does not write comments to piss you off. He does not get off on being a dick to you. A majority of the time, he doesn't even mean to be a dick. (There are times when he does - but they are blatantly obvious and usually short and sweet. They are also usually in response to people being dicks, or being outstandingly stupid and not even trying to not be stupid.) I will agree that kb likes to debate/argue/instigate/etc and once in a debate, he likes to win. He's also good at it, which is probably related to why he likes it so much. I like winning too. If I had any motivation, I would read the books he's recommended - or persuasion and anything else. (you're going to have to google site:hubski.com kleinbl00 books and start making a list.) At least then I would be armed with more than my 24 year old emotions before meddling with the devil on his home court.


Alas, I had no motivation and I found it much more productive and stress-free to simply not read every comment of his like he intended to piss you off. If you read them with the same respect you evidently feel that you deserve, you might find his tone is not as aggressive, combative, or personal as you make them. I know that simple change on my part allowed me to be more open minded, realize that kb is actually a pretty cool guy with a lot of crazy valuable insights, and actually will go out of his way to educate, discuss, and be helpful if you communicate with him. (Actually, even if you don't communicate with him. I think I have a still have a string of notes that I meant to respond to and never did....oops. Sorry kb!)

TLDR: HEY MAYBE KB REALLY IS A DICK TO YOU AND IM TOTALLY WRONG. (really - skip this part I'm only keeping it because it took me a lot of time)

You made it fucking difficult to find the shit you referenced when you deleted your account. I managed to find the latest movie thread, where he didn't respond to you...not even once.

1. I went through every single movie post tagged #movieclub and did a search for both "user-" and "klein". I found zero interaction...ever.

2. I did google search for hubski and your name and pulled up every page that google has indexed, and then searched for "klein". I found one interaction, from 106 days ago (you joined the site 155 days ago): https://hubski.com/pub?id=166843 Reading that thread, I see a fucking boatload of snark and instigation coming from you. Like...holy shit:

    It's that easy, but don't worry yourself over the fact that it makes no sense.

    This is why I stopped trying to have a conversation with you. For irony, I'll go ahead and mute you. I know it won't prove my point to you, but clearly you're incapable of understanding it anyway.

If you had responded to my points in that way, I would have gotten very agitated with you. I'm surprised that KB's responses were as mellow as they were. I was expected to find a battle. I found him making a few concise points with only one line that is not as concise, but not exactly earth-shatteringly snarky or aggressive: "The choice is simple: Are you willing to abase yourself enough to bridge the gap of discussion? Then do so. Would you rather sit in your castle of high dudgeon maintaining that you have no need to apologize? Then accept that you've been muted." (I'm curious if KB had muted you at this point and was using you to literally or if he was using you as a general pronoun? Based on the entire context, I am 99% sure its the latter and this may your first interaction with him.)

3. I then went through KBs comments for the last 50 days. proof

This is the ONLY INTERACTION BETWEEN YOU AND HIM IN THE LAST 50 days (besides the relationship post) here.:

Debate about NaNoWriMo where kb covers NaNoWriMo in a pile of shit

--- [KB attacks 8bit: "Never ask your parents or your friends for an honest opinion about your writing." :( 8bit: "Why ya gotta stunt on a brotha like that, Klein." Klein admits he's truly in love with Hubskina.}(https://hubski.com/pub?id=185751) :)

---- KB attacks NaNoWriMo with stats

---- You say why you write NaNoWriMo, agree with his thoughts on NaNo, disagree on...um....I'm not sure honestly

--- but then we end up at one lined snarkies by both sides -> you dont want to debate it further (what debate?) -> kb, "understand if I didn't give a shit about you and your writing, I wouldn't give a shit about this." -> you "I have no plans to mute you. I disagree with you, and that's the end of it" -> HUGGIES!

-------note: the above love from kb directly contradicts this statement you make: "and you definitely don’t care about the person to which you’re responding."

I don't even know if that's you. I hope its not serial lurker confusing me again. :(


Granted, if he responded to you and you never responded back, it wouldn't show up in my "user-" search on his comment page. So if that's the case and kb is literally commenting on your comments and posts incessantly and insulting you, I apologize. I truly don't think that's the case though.

and now I am upset for an entirely new reason.

Because you just made this fucking post and rage quit on us. I went and spent a good amount of time trying to figure out where the issues were, why we have people quitting on us like this, and what the fuck is going on. I wanted to know why Hubski is suddenly a place for not thoughtful discussion. What I found was that there is literally no evidence backing up your claims that KB is a dick to you, is everywhere, and is ruining your experience. Nor that hubski doesn't want to be thoughtful. I thought there were problems and omg the world might end. I feel deceived, and exhausted.

Fuck you.

Just kidding.

Interacting with people is what you make it. Hubski is what you make it. Somehow, you seem to have become obsessed with kb and perhaps it is this obsession that has caused you to think that he has invaded your space and is inescapable.* He is not. He does not dominate Hubski, as much as his follower count would lead you to believe. he average share of Kb's posts are no higher than any other active user who has been on the site for a bit. He may comment more and comment longer, but I don't see how his comments lead you to be unable to comment as well. I mean...just read the post and comment, man. Don't get all wrapped up in kb's comments.

Being obsessed with KB is a fairly typical thing - I wouldn't recommend asking _refugee_ for advice on how to not be obsessed with him, but perhaps you can start a kb-obsessed support group or something?

The fact that he doesn't seem to respond to you as much as you've lead us to believe also makes it very hard for me to understand the line about "...But I won't put up with being chased around and shouted down at every opportunity" I was genuinely concerned that kb may have turned into a rapist. But I think ref's point, "This reminds me, uncomfortably, of people who tell women to smile more....." is pretty spot on. The fact that you are the one who is publicly defacing kb shows a lot about your character.

This line doesn't make any sense to me: "

    Hubski could be better, but it won't be, because it doesn't want to be. There's no reason for me to participate here. I want to, because....I enjoy the community. But I won't...
" Why isn't there a reason for you to participate here? What are you trying to get out of Hubski? Do you not see yourself as providing valuable insights to Hubski? Do you not think you are getting enough attention? My turn to be selfish and melodramatic: if you enjoy it and gave a shit about any of us, why did you leave, especially in this fashion?

It's a real shame that good people can do a single thing that will forever change the way people perceive them and remember them. Frankly, I found you to be a cool guy and welcomed another developer on Hubski. I enjoyed the myriad of threads that we had that went for days (sometimes because I forgot to respond - other times because we just wandered about the conversation). As much as I'll try to remember those times and not this post when I think about you, the reality is is that this post carries much more weight as it is charged with emotion. Everything about this sucks...and it's raining again. Ah well... all those moments will be lost...like tears in rain and shit.

Alright. Here's my thoughts on this article, written over two days and via phone a bit in the cab drunk last night.

Shouting out flagamuffin bc you asked my thoughts. 8bit and cgod and kleinbl00 - you might find this interesting but I won't waste your notification space on it.


I joined Twitter for the first time in 2008, right after arriving at NYU, right before Obama was elected, right after sitting through orientation after orientation, listening to this liberal ass liberal arts school preach to me (this is a direct quote), "We won't tell you who to vote for but VOTE CHAAAAANGE!!!!!" MASSIVE CHEER FROM 1000 INCOMING FRESHMAN OVERWHELMS EVERYTHING Yeah. I was oriented. I was surprised that there were so many people who were so easily and enthusiastically for VOTE CHANGE when I was fully aware that I had no real idea what to expect from either candidate due to my ignorance about them and due to my ignorance of politics in general.

I grew up with parents that didn't talk much about politics because they didn't care much for it nor did they agree with each other. They always voted though and always respected each other's opinion, when the subject was broached. My mom was a teacher at a LAUSD continuation school (definition: " small campuses with low student-to-teacher ratios offering instruction to students between the ages of 16 and 18 who are deemed as risk of not completing their education." - basically a mixture of fuck ups, ESL kids, bad homes, etc.) My dad is an engineer, tinkerer extraordinaire, self-made (unknown sums of money)-aire.

In high school, I spent all of my time in video class - video prod and broadcast journalism. I read the LATimes every morning with my breakfast (by choice) but was required (for class) to do a write up of the minutes of NewsHour and a primetime cable news show each week: break down the minutes/seconds spent on commercials, ins & outs, human interest stories, investigative journalism, interviews, etc. Any interesting notes about b-roll, sound effects, on site anchors, etc. Compare and contrast the angles of any related stories. Basically, I was always up to date and analyzing.

In college, I found myself not reading the paper, not staying up to date, and feeling out of touch with the world. I rejected the mass following of Obama simply because he's Obama. I wanted to know what was going on and what people thought - all people thought - so I could try to figure out what I thought.

Enter Twitter.

It wasn't full of brands and it wasn't full of promotion. It was new. Oprah had yet to mention it. No one had a million subscribers. You talked with other people with similar interests. There was an "all tweets" feed and I would browse it a lot. Everyone did. Twitter started as a way for me to get news, see a variety of opinions on anything at any given time (man, watching the election and the VMAs with tweetdeck open was the best), and connect with random people who may or may not share interests with you. A quick follow of random people from the all feed and a couple news sites ensured you knew what was happening at any given time - all in 140 character snippets. That's all I had time for. Click a tag and figure out if it's popular or not by how many new tweets showed up on refresh. There was no auto refresh - you were limited to like 120 API requests / minute and a larger number but not 120x60 / hour.

I got into debates with movie bloggers (we used use twitlonger for debates without shame) , made random friends in the LA and NYC areas via apps that showed tweets posted within 5 miles of you, read stories, and mostly tweeted about movies, ranted about college, bragged getting drunk and my super awesome videos and scripts, and made vague and not-so-vague sexual comments that a typical 19 year old, sexually charged, liberal arts college girl would make. I am glad twitpic is going to die because there were no images in twitter and so all mine are there. If you feel like being nauseated by the shallowness of my early college years, here you go. I wouldn't recommend it. cringe

It was awesome. I've met probably 10 people from twitter over the years. 2 remain extremely close friends of mine and I value and respect their opinions and input on decisions I make in my life. A few still like and comment on my instagram. There were two people that I was really close with and we probably tweeted with each other every day. We'd always @ each other and bring each other into the conversation. The conversations weren't deep or intellectual or about anything besides day-to-day life, drama, parents, etc. But it was nice. Kind of like the pubski threads.

The biggest thing was your @username tweets showed by default. If I tweeted @username, everyone who followed me would see that tweet. This had a huge effect on how you found people to follow and what kind of conversations were started. I would see random tweet about a movie at another person, and follow him. Now you have a group of three, sort of. I would see a inflammatory tweet at a person, scroll both feeds forever trying to piece together the debate (there were services that did it automatically, but twitter had yet to implement any sort of 'this tweet was a reply to this tweet' feature. Then I would jump into the debate between two people who I had never talked to. We'd all follow each other and soon, there was a group of maybe 30-40 of us who were all either really into movies, small time movie bloggers, or even some of the "big guys" with legit sites and numerous authors. Those accounts - the ones with the name of the website - were not automatic. They were not just posts from the blog. They were real people, having real conversations, saying real things. That was the only way to get people to follow you. And twitter wasn't big enough that any off-color remarks would damage your brand.

The first change that sucked the community aspect out of twitter was removing the @ posts from the feed. Now someone had to choose to type .@username or some other hacky way if they wanted others to see it. But that eliminated the spontaneous nature of interactions that was occurring before. Plus, people didn't do it much because it was blatantly asking for attention.

The next big thing was Oprah. When she mentioned it, it suddenly became a thing that mattered. While this obviously was the start of "every brand, every blog, every promotion, etc" being on twitter, it had more subtle implications at first. Remember the random guy who ran of Big Time Movie Blog and tweeted from that account? He used to say things like "aw naw fuck j-Depp and the horse he rode in on. hes fuckin terrible in this. get a new fricken character dude." (I just made that up) . But no one fucking cared. It wasn't big enough to matter and no one would see it, no one was watching, tweets didn't make the news - even TMZ. Once Oprah got on that shit, it mattered and people had to watch what they said, especially from brand accounts. Everything became about promotion and branding and you have campaigns and teams of people dedicated to running the twitter accounts. Fucking up on Twitter is cause a front page story in the news now.

Here's a snap of some convos from as far back as Twitter API will let me go. 1 2. It's cringeworthy. It's ridiculous. It's spastic. It's insanity. I half-named stuff because I don't want this indexed by google like that...but I've met gso he's awesome still & in LA. He took sick photos of me on the beach when I first got back to LA in 2012. He had just quit his job to freelance and was so happy - when I decided to quit my job, I thought a lot about what he said that day and how fucking happy he was. I still talk to Calilaksdjflaksdjfuy on pretty much every social network...zomlaksdjflaksdjfbot too. justlikelaksdjflaksdjfnovel - I miss her. WarLorlaksdjflaksdjfdWrites was awesome - into poetry - from minnesota always making me feel shitty for bitching about 20 degree NYC weather. keilaksdjflaksdjfhsssdavis was one of my professors - I would tweet him during class and make him blush for fun. His bff was da......lmo and we would say horrible things to each other. He was prof for a class after mine the next semester and we'd leave each other candy in the green room - that dude just made a sick ass movie and I couldn't be happier for him. Also, $20 bucks says no one gives a flying fuck or reads about this ridiculously long self-centered comment. Holy shit, it is long. That's what I get for writing over the course of two days. Or, rather, what you get. :P Anyways, Rich was at Marvel, moved to LA to be at Disney last year, reached out & my mom gave him advice on which areas of LA would be nice for a growing family.

The point of the above gibberish is that yeah...I think twitter used to provide some sort of weird awesome community. There were connections and circles that were created over time. No one really cared about anything they said and it was all gone (well obviously not gone gone) in a day or so. It was never a community of intellectuals around a set of topics though - these were spontaneously formed communities between me, a person in my class, someone from his home town, and a random twitter buddy of his all talking about a movie or getting drunk or something. It was never conducive to discussion but in 2009 and in college, everyone was just looking to connect without being totally anonymous, but being anonymous, with no expectations or implications or rules.

Today though? Yeah. It's been taken over by big brands. It's 90% bots, 90% automated tweets, accounts have been sold, been bought, SEO accounts are everywhere, auto follows, auto responds, auto DMS - it wasn't like that before. You could and did have conversations. You had conversations with professors and classmates and literally random people that found you on the all feed that you would never have on Facebook or in person. You made friends and everyone saw everything and everyone saw nothing. You didn't buy followers. You didn't proofread tweets. You didn't post links to your blog only - that would ensure a drop in followers. You didn't auto DM on follow - that was tacky and proof that you were a bot.

The tags were awesome too. They still are - I genuinely think watching tags of live events is the best thing about twitter still. But you used to find people in the same area as you from twitter tags...and then become internet buddies forever. You would know about things before other people did and get photos of it delivered live and refreshing up as much as the broken, ghetto API would let you. There were no trending tags either, unless you had an outside app like tweet deck. Even then, it wasn't accurate. So those feeds were real people, not automated bots cluttering up the tags feed because they know people are looking at it. You didn't have lists. You couldn't follow lists. You could only follow like 200 users a day. You would constantly get the fail whale and too many API requests.

And yet somehow, even with no functionality, even with a fail whale site, broken api, limited search, horrible discovery, and 140 character limit, you could connect with people, make friends, and learn all about their life and they would learn all about yours. And we did.

As for whether I agree or disagree with the article, it's pretty irrelevant. People don't fucking expect community from Twitter, never did, and if you expect that, then you're a massive retard. This guy is massively retarded in that sense. Seriously, you are looking for the wrong things in twitter and then getting upset that it doesn't cater to you. FYI - it's not trying to. You ain't special - 60% of the people I talk to have a ballsack too, dude.

I will say that his points about being a glorified link aggregator, harassment, and being all about brands promoting shit are spot on. But that's not original or insightful at all. It's not that I didn't find his thoughts interesting. I did. First, because I didn't know having those thoughts about Twitter was still relevant and then because what he says and doesn't say about communities:

    Communities are, above all else, defined by membership, the ability for people to identify as a part of one, and to participate in activities, and share things and experiences with the group.

    Every user floats by themselves, interacting with who they please. This denies us the ability to build communities, to set social norms, and to enforce them.

    Twitter has absolutely no way for me to share with others that someone isn't a person I want in my communities

    It's fundamentally impossible to create a safe space with a public account, at any time anyone can jump in, and no one is empowered to help moderate it.

This is what is truly interesting: the same things that this guy despises about Twitter are the same reasons I loved it and what allowed me to connect with people. It's what makes twitter special. It's also what makes it horrible for communities and great for brands. But hey, get in before Oprah, and times were good.

I also find it interesting that moderation is such a huge part of what defines community for so many people. Like you can't do anything if you don't have a team of moderators making sure everyone is happy and no one gets injured. His thoughts that communities should " the ability for people to identify as a part of one, and to participate in activities, and share things and experiences with the group." is so lame I can't even hear myself think. Seriously? Sure, I guess that is true technically. But that sounds like a quick trip to echo chamber land, zero users land, and boredom land. How do you learn, grow, and meet new people if you are confined to a private board with heavy moderation and no way to have spontaneous interactions or off topic interactions?

What he says he wants is similar to Hubski: "I want a product that enables me to build and participate in communities, that encourages discussions and expressing meaningful ideas." I just find it hysterically silly that he believes that membership, being able to (publicly) identify as part of a group, participate in activities (hey, ever heard of adult rec leagues?), ways to hide posts from all outsiders he chooses, has moderators who ban and kick everyone who doesn't follow the rules to a T, disallow anyone not included from jumping in, and a UI / functionality that allows you to follow threads easily.

Sounds like he wants Facebook Groups. Yet, somehow, those don't spawn anything remotely interesting. I wonder why that is? Oh right...because you are creating a stagnant "community" with a rigid, big-ass wall around it, ignoring the fact that everything that makes online interaction unique stems from tearing down that wall.

by insomniasexx 186 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 24, 2014

So exactly one week after I quit my job (read: after exactly one week of laziness, beach days, day drinking, partying and sleeping in until noon) I sent a random email to a old client as I was cleaning up my email. He was a guy who reached out to me via reddit almost 3 years ago for some tech copywriting and freelance work. Nothing big ever came of it but his email was still starred so I figured, "what the hell" and shot him a reply to his 3 year old email. Side note: I wouldn't realize until later that his email wasn't in my standard, professional gmail account. No. It was in my insomniasexx email account. That only makes this more impressive.

He gave me 10 minutes and zero interest. I called, we caught up, he was busy and not interested, I shot him an email with my recent work and outdated portfolio, and patted myself on the back for at least reaching out to him. It was kinda scary but it felt good after. Like, "Oh - that wasn't so bad or awkward." I emailed Thursday at 2am and the call was a Tuesday, Sept 2nd at noon.

The next day, my friend and I decided we were going camping. On the way to Jalama Beach in Santa Barbara, I ignore a call from an unknown number. Seconds later, I receive and email from the guy I had talked to the day before. I call him back and he patches in his creative director.

They ask me all sorts of questions about my process, the work on americhip.com, etc etc. Then they say they have a meeting with [two huge tech companies that you all have heard of] on Sept. 26th and need a site / company built out. The product exists and works, the funding is there, contracts with suppliers and distributors and all sorts of stuff have been signed. They just need to look like it's an actual company before Sept 26th.

Naturally, I said, "sure why not. I love a good challenge." I sent them a scope of work and estimate from a grocery store parking lot, from from my phone, and figured whatever. I over estimated my hours and gave the highest hourly I've ever given. I figured, even if they want 6 months of work in 1 month, they're still going to pay for 6 months of work! I let them know I won't have cell service until 10am the following day. That was Wednesday, Sept 3rd, 10am.

I drove up the hill to the cell phone spot and I had at least 6 emails of varying degrees of urgency. I find myself unexpectedly on a call with 6 guys with Big Ass titles to go over the project in more depth. I was in gray sweats, gray sweatshirt, greasy hair, no makeup, and sandals. I was sandy, dirty, and covered in smoke from last nights fire. I was standing on a hill with a foot of thorny grass poking my feet. My moleskin was propped on a decrepit old fence / barbed wire and I was trying notes faster than I could think. There was so much information to take in and this was so not the state to take it in. Oh well.

They tell me they've emailed me NDA, vendor service agreement, and signed off on my stuff. They will need an invoice and my banking info so they can wire me my 1/3 deposit. That was 9am Thursday and I hadn't showered since 9am Tuesday.

I received the deposit (about 125% of what my total monthly income was at Americhip) when I was driving back to town the next day.

Since then, I've successfully built a site essentially by myself for an industry I know nothing about. I learned Eclipse and the ridiculous Java based back-end their using so we don't have to code all the user permissions, accounts, etc. I still have to integrate the Java though. I don't know Java. Fuck Java. I've learned how to set a tomcat server and build the template / theme / project / permissions to it. I've learned what a permgen mem error is and how to fix it - even when the server won't restart.

I've read heaps of documentation and averaged 60/hours a week of work. I just got off a call with one of the guys regarding content, which should be done by tomorrow night. Because having content done 12 hours before a big meeting is the way to do things.

I worked 17 hours yesterday and went to bed at 3am. I woke up at 9am today and will probably work until 3am again today, with a sex/sleep break somewhere in there.

If you read my initial post on quitting my job, you know I went into it not expecting to make money, especially this soon. I'm making 3.5x what I made at Americhip from one client this month. I have 3 other clients I'm not even including in that number. In addition to the nice, unplanned income increase, I've done exactly what I wanted: I've worked with new people, learned new skills, and challenged myself to grow every day. So far, I've done it. Fuck yes.

All I can say is, thank god for sex. Otherwise the stress from this turnaround time would have most certainly killed me by now. 2 more days and I'm back to beach life. This was a nice little break though. :)

Checking my email on the hill:

The fence & sign at "Cell Phone Spot":

Hubskified that shit

Holy shit I just made a butt load of moeny and I look like this

Let's go surfing!

by insomniasexx 264 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Mid-2014 Hubski Sticker Vote Thread

tapping out. goodnight kleinbl00

by insomniasexx 291 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Impromptu Hubski meetup

Wow - We have some incredibly good looking men on Hubski!

    every Hubskier that I have met seems the kind of person that I would hope the site would draw.

I have found the same to be true. Everyone from Hubski that I've met has been interesting, intelligent, functionally-alcoholic and a great conversationalists. Glad to see the trend continues with blackbootz!

by insomniasexx 295 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: LIVE HUB: Boston Meetup


by insomniasexx 324 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: The Executioner's Lament

I am 100% against internet explorer (especially older versions - the newer ones suck less) but I also understand that there are very few people that choose to use IE. Typically it is by force - at work, on a family member's computer, etc. I never really understood the work thing as older IEs are hopelessly insecure but a lot of webapps and older databases look good in IE8 but load weirdly on newer browsers. IT departments are also lazy and the thought of updating 2000 employees computers to Chrome can be scary. The thought of letting people install their own apps and dealing with 1000 viruses per day is even more scary. It's simply a tough situation.

I have used "upgrade your browser" pop ups on a couple of microsites and client sites. On Hubski, I'm against it because the amount of people who are visiting Hubski AND using IE by choice are so miniscule. People like _refugee_ don't have any other option. By including a pop up, we would just be adding insult to their misfortune. I'm sure they already know that they should upgrade their browser.

I am not promising to keep the code updated or bugtest Hubski on IE8 for every change we push. But if I can cut some of the most glaring errors so refugee's experience is slightly better, I think it is worth it. To be 100% honest, mk has ignored internet explorer idiosyncrasies since day one. I don't blame him - it's an overwhelming and depressing task to take on after you've spent days and weeks sorting out normal browser / code idiosyncrasies.

by insomniasexx 339 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Open Source Hubski

Alright I'm off my phone.

Basically start with this stylesheet: https://hubski.com/clean.css-4-23-14

Then run it through here: http://www.codebeautifier.com/

Then copy that and put it in your text editor. In google chrome, you can edit live using inspector. However, make sure you copy and paste your live edits to a document you can save often. The second you accidentally click a link, that edited CSS goes "poof".

To do this, right click the page and click inspect element. Click on the icon in the upper right of the bottom bar. It looks like a little square. This will pop it out.

Now, click on head and "clean.css-4-23-14" or whatever you style sheet is. Replace it with your beautiful css. Now, feel free to add, delete, etc. When you get something wonderful, take some screenshots and make a post about it.

You (nor I) can edit the HTML so you have to deal with the built in classes and structure. Everything pretty much has a clearly defined class or ID so it makes it easier to edit. Some things (ie: .box and .score) have two slightly different uses on home page and chatter page, etc. So if you make changes to those, I would recommend putting them in their container in the CSS so you don't accidentally screw the layout on a different page. (ie: .sub .plusminus .score {} rather than just .score)

You'll see when you start playing with it why I choose to play with the styling in stylebot. Enjoy!

D'awww. Thanks for the badge! I stumbled upon this today. Learned a few things. Chrome DevTools Features You May Have Missed