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First step. Read these. The advice in here is expansive and awesome:

edit: here's a post list w/ a few more.

Step 2: Never take a single word of advice. Take it all in. Let it simmer and stew and marinate in that brain / heart of yours and make decisions based on what you think and feel. Your decisions will be influenced by the mountains of advice but the decisions will be yours and yours alone.

Step 3: Don't make any big decisions you don't have to. Make little ones and enjoy the journey. I planned on working in television (like I did in high school) instead of going to college. I figured I would figure it out. I hated school and spent more time trying to figure out how to not go to school and keep my valedictorian status than actually going to school. Then I got into NYU Film unexpectedly. Then I dropped out of NYU film two years in because I lost my passion. Then I worked nights editing shitty movies and TV shows for next to nothing (maybe like $50/night). Then I took off to Australia for three months with some Aussies I had met at a bar while doing cocaine one night (no joke). Then I got back home, moved in with my parents, and accepted a job at $13.25/hr editing product videos. Then I taught myself web development. Then I quit my job and started my own business creating websites for people. And here I am. I just turned 25. If you had asked me where I would be at 25 when I was 16, I would have said, "Doing cocaine and producing indie films and living a rockstar lifestyle." I don't produce films (although I occasionally get a corporate video bullshit gig) and I don't do cocaine anymore. I also make websites. WTF? How did that happen?

Life changes and it changes fast. The best thing you can do is roll with the punches and make sure whatever you are doing, you are passionate about. You are never too old or too young to do something big or change the direction you are headed. There is a big difference in being non-committal and giving up, and changing directions though.

I was 100% passionate about film until I wasn't. I tried really hard to find that passion again and spent a lot of time thinking there was something terribly wrong with me and that I had some lack-of-motivation disease (there's a motivation/passion enzyme in your thyroid right?) It turns out I was just over it. I sobbed to my parents for literally an hour straight, sitting on a grimmy NYC curb, before the words, "I want to drop out of college" left my lips. Then I sobbed and tried to catch my breath for another 4 hours or so.

If you don't have passion for something right now, do what you like best and explore the surrounding areas. Eventually you will find something. You are young as shit. I have friends pushing 30 who are still running away to foreign lands and snorting coke and haven't even tried to figure out what they want to do with their life / what their passion is.

Learn as much as you can now though. Real life is not conducive to picking up new skills, FYI. Go learn to solder or some shit. I don't know. I wish I had the time to learn that right now.

However small or nitpicky, there are a number of differences between avatars and images in the sidebar of a users profile.

1. We don't make it explicit that they are allowed (or disallowed) -- the sidebar simply uses the same markup as comments. Some users have chosen to place an embedded image there but it looks and feels fine with or without an image.

2. Avatars would be their own dedicated field and therefore users would feel compelled to upload something. But, just in case they don't, we would also need to make a "no avatar" avatar, which is a more complicated decision than one might expect. Facebook --- Designer News --- Empty States in General Also, do we crop them for you, allow you to crop them, etc. etc. (FYI, if you allow avatar uploading these days, users expect to have the ability to edit/crop like they can on facebook. It's terrible because Facebook's functionality is pretty rock-solid due to years of improvements and user testing and a great deal of code).

3. Would we host these images on hubski.com (eek!) or 3rd party image providers? While imgur is pretty good about allowing users to upload images and embedding them anywhere, they have been known to shut down embedded photos for specific sites/forums if they generate an insane amount of clicks. A random forum I was on actually had imgur block all their embedded images (not just avatars) on the forum unless they were uploaded by a paid account. I don't think the forum was generating that many clicks.

3b. The weight of a page loading images would increase ~100kb (this is a v. high estimate) per image, depending on sizes we allowed and if we implemented some backend jazz to rescale/convert/compress. That means a page with 20 comments would now be an additional 4mb. Even if we say each image is 50kb, that's 2mb for 20 comments.

4. When you visit a user's profile, it is assumed that the content on their page is theirs and chosen to be shared by them. Profile pages are visited relatively infrequently and with the intention that you you want to learn more about a user. If I were to visit a profile page and see a big dong, I would blame that user, not Hubski, and I would succeed in learning something new about said user. However, when you are on a post / pub page (like this one), your intentions are to read the post / comments and interact with others. A dong photo, or any number of photos, would disrupt that experience and give users who came to read the post something that they were not looking for. This is not just for users of the site - I can also take a post page, specific comment, or global feel, email it to my mother, post it on my facebook, or do whatever I want with it without being scared that a dong might pop up in their face.

5. Additionally the content on post pages is a mixture of users and (in the case of muting) can be somewhat controlled by the original poster because it is technically "mk's post" or "_refugee_'s post". Would we see an influx of muting or dissuasion of posting your own posts elsewhere (like facebook/twitter) because there are rogue commenters with inappropriate photos? BTW, what constitutes and inappropriate photo? Dongs? Butts? KKK hoods? Girl in bikini? Hot shirtless guy? Ugly shirtless guy?

5. Photos, even not dong-shots, would be helpful in some cases and detrimental in others. While a flower may remind you who I am, would that flower cause you read my comments, even those comments which are non-gender-related, as if I were a girl? Would that affect the interaction you had with me positively or negatively? While most hubskiers know my gender, there are always a few noobs who assume I am male (because the entire internet is male). Elsewhere on the internet I am more often male than female. I never take offense to this because I don't think my gender should come into play, except when I am using my experience as a female as a base for my comments (ie: I know what it's like to bleed once a month because I am a bloody female.)

Anyways, I'm obviously not a fan of avatars. I do like Designer New's pixel art creation but I don't like that I never feel like mine is good enough or represents me enough. I've also redone it like 10 times and spent upwards of 20 hours on it. The big images were lost during the server move so I started redoing that the other day when I was hungover. I've spent more time on Designer News making pixel art than I have commenting on Designer News.

insomniasexx 22 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: 00000000000000000000000000000000000000

Please, no one link to Hubski on reddit right now.

We were discussing last night how odd of an influx this last one as been. It's been a lot of small waves instead of one massive one, like we've seen previously.

Here's a graph:

Keep in mind, the peeks are ~2000% increase so it's a bit hard to tell our before and after traffic. The after traffic from the last influx was a bit higher than our before traffic, but not by huge amount. Also keep in mind the holiday weekend, etc.

Lastly, we honor do-not-tracks and all sorts of stuff so this is really not that accurate. For example, if we were linked to in /r/netsec or something, we probably wouldn't notice an influx via Piwik.

Interesting factoid! We got ~1000 visits from June 1-July 7 from that weird Mashable clickbait from over a year ago.

insomniasexx 64 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: PayPal Cuts Off Reddit Clone Voat Over 'Obscenity'

PayPal is actually notorious for shutting down accounts for anyone doing anything slightly illicit. Cam girls. Donations on sexy wallpaper sites. Forums not entirely on the up and up. Donations to wiki leaks. Donations to proton mail. Etc. Google search it. It's crazy how clean you have to be to keep a PayPal account open. They don't touch controversy with 100ft stick.

No one... And I mean no one... In their right mind uses PayPal if they aren't a 100% clean business because of their tendencies to randomly shut accounts down. I don't keep any sum of money in there even though all my international clients pay me via PayPal and I pay my international employees via PayPal.

People told voat not to use PayPal the second they started using PayPal. It's odd that they didn't head the warnings.

All and all, this is just another sign confirming my initial thoughts about voat. Honestly, I wanted them to succeed. They had big, albeit naive, ideals. Plus they took all the people who "just want to watch the world burn" and sent the good users for us. ;) . But the more I hear and see, the more announcement posts that are made, the quick flip flopping, make the entire thing seem like no one is really thought this thing out. You know that you are attracting people who DDOS. Be prepared for that. And I don't mean some massive code to prevent ddosing - I mean a couple lines allowing your site to fail fast under those circumstances. Don't use paypal. Don't make promises you can't keep. You know saying "anything goes" is impossible. You have numerous case studies of sites (4chan,8chan) who tried to do the same thing and had the same exact things happen. No one wants to host your child porn, even if it's technically on a 3rd parties server. No one wants to fund that. No one wants to touch that.

I understand that the owners are quite literally kids with high hopes, but when your user base skyrockets and you're getting media attention every single day from every tech blog, it's time to get real.

At least hire a lawyer or two. Just cause you read the Pirate Bay blog and decided Switzerland is the shit, doesn't make your any more prepared for the 8000 issues you're going to encounter for linking to nefarious sites and taking the notorious user base from reddit.

If I were them, I would start by spending every single cent of the donations on a well recommended lawyer, consults with any people who have dealt with sites like 4chan,8chan,tpb etc in the past. Then I would write out a 1 month, 1 year, and 5 year plan as to what I would the site to be. Then I would write out the steps, tone, marketing, ideas, etc that I would need to do to get there.

Then I would get really fucking real and do the same exercise for what the site realistically is going to be based on the current user base, the current media attention, the promises I've made, the tone of responses to announcement posts and so forth.

The reality is, voat wants to make a site where anything goes. That's about it. They want to please their users. Based on the actions they've taken, where they are right now is entirely expected. You could see this coming from 1000 miles away. If you want to be something different, then do it. But you better start having real thoughts and wants for your site that are fucking SOLID. Not hopes. Not ideals. Instead of trying to please your users, be realistic about the balance between pleasing your users and making a sustainable site that fulfills your goals and attracts the users you want to fulfill those goals.

The one thing I can say about mk is that he knows, at his core, what he wants hubski to be and to represent. There are no doubts about it. Anything that makes him uneasy or doesn't move towards that goal is shut down. It's a hard trait to have and one that I don't think I've seen in such a pure form before. If you look at the features and the things we do and don't do, you can start seeing how mk thinks. Even the features that were removed or didn't work out for one reason or another work toward the greater hubski goal. If mk does something, I know it's because it fits into what hubski should be. I know mk has debated it internally for days if not weeks and gotten feedback from external sources. I know this without a doubt. If voat does something, it's because someone came up with the idea and thought it was cool and managed to implement it before the "what are the consequences, however unintended?" question even came up.

Yeah. The condo I currently live in (2bd, 2bth, 1200sq ft, 1st floor, east side of the building) is 750k with $495 HOAs. The top floor, west facing, sunset view 2/2 lofts are just under a million. Fun fact about the lofts—they have balconies but no doors to those balconies for some (permitting?) reason so the owners climb through the window to enjoy their ocean view. Luckily, my roommate bought this place in '08 for 450k. That's a nice little ROI.

We don't have a pool and the rotting balcony repairs are a cost to the owner. Not sure where 36,000/month is going to. Maybe the single maid who mops the hallways and takes out the mailroom trash once a week is making bank?

The housing prices are ridiculous here. There's no doubt about it. Anywhere else would be so much better. But the reality is, we can't move out of the area yet. And paying 3k/month to rent a shitty house in "East South Bay" (Carson) or "10 Minutes from Redondo Beach Pier" (Lawndale), or "central location - beach breezes and close to freeway" (Hawthorne) or "Palos Verdes Adjacent" (San Pedro) or "East Westchester" (IngleWOOOOOOD) is silly when you can buy at that same price. (Yes, those are actually what craigslist people call their areas).

I think Playa / Westchester / Palms / Culver have been hit with the "Silicon Beach" thing the most. I just saw that fucking new apt/condo building on Lincoln with the massive "NOW RENTING: SILICON BEACH" sign. Silly silly silly.

Your building is nice, but no pets (at least for renters?) and the 1bd/1bth was like $2750 and didn't even have a door to the bedroom! Plus, holy hell does the number system ever start making sense? Why are there letters?!??!?!?!?!?!

As you know, I grew up in Manhattan Beach. My dad bought the house in the mid-80s and didn't even look at the house - he only looked at the garage...which had two garage doors so you could drive into the backyard. He was into hot rods back then. My street is one of the last remaining streets in the area that has lots that haven't been split to 1/32 of an acre. My parents and the neighbors go to city council meetings EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. MONTH. for as long as I can remember to prevent the people buying the lots as the owners die from splitting them.

Instead of...you know...keeping a fucking backyard...the houses that have been built are massive, .4 acre houses on .5 acre lots. .9 acre houses on 1 acre lots. People like Vince Vaughn live there now. You know who lived there before? A 90 year old guy who trekked up the massive hill walking his poodle every single day at 7:30am and would say hello to us every single day at 7:36am when we were leaving for school. I remember the day the poodle died because he suddenly didn't have his poodle. My dad walked down with him to help him bury it in the backyard. We came by after school for a little funeral. Before retiring at 65 years old, he worked a normal job, had a normal family (and like 80 grandkids), played tennis in his free time, and enjoyed tending to his lemon grove and walking his poodle. His wife was mid-level HR at TRW/Northrop. People used to be normal!

I was 12 when he died and 14 when the 3bd, 1bath, 1200 sqft house he raised three kids in with 60 years of lemon trees was scraped. Here's the house now. It has two staircases and a bathroom larger than my apartment in New York. I was a little rebellious skateboarder when that house was being built. We used to hide and drink in the massive wine cellar and fuck on the single-slab-of-granite kitchen counter that extends all the way from the massive indoor bar, through a window, into an indoor/outdoor grill / bar / entertainment area, and didn't see the transformation from "people who worked hard as fuck and have become successful enough to own a house that they bought for under 400k" to "people who have so much money they can buy a $17m vacation home that they live in 5% of the year".

Now I'm depressed.

I agree with you. I wish there was more content too. I try to post all I can but I have a problem with posting things I don't find like..super awesome interesting.

I think there just needs to be generally more people (and I'd love more diversity—I feel like we have a lot of writers and musicians but not a lot of designers...or brain surgeons...or veterinarians....)

It's sort of a catch-22. If we had more people there would be more content (even though it might be shittier?) But, if we don't have awesome content, we don't get people. We don't market or advertise (besides STICKERS!) because every time we've even thought about it, we've realized it may be detrimental to the community. I mean, if all of fatpeoplehate came here, I think it might be a bad thing.

All I can say is keep posting, keep commenting, invite people who you think would be awesome, mention Hubski around town, and we'll get there. That's what I do (and try to do better everyday) anyways.

insomniasexx 84 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Harm Reduction Pamphlet for MidBurn 2015

I'm really glad you reached out to me! The final chart is impressively clean and easy on the eyes, especially compared to the original. I'm also quite proud of you for being able to take my design tips, which were pretty high level rather than "make this cell this color and this cell that", and action them. Keep up the great work and thank you so much for sharing the final!

For those who would like to also go to the insom school of design, here's the exact message I sent Cumol:

Seriously - you have a remarkable ability to pick things up and make things happen with little direction (and messy direction) – that is a seriously great skill. Be proud of yourself, keep it up. I have no doubt you are going places.

insomniasexx 90 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: David Foster Wallace - Consider The Lobster

I've caught a lot of lobster off the coast of LA. We hoop net by the breakwall in Redondo. Usually they're just over a foot long at the beginning of the season and by the end it's hard to find a legal one. I always let the men deal with the killing part. They use the "knife through the skull" method instead of the boiling alive method.

They also had the same mentality as the David Foster Wallace mentioned:

    ...plus that a willingness to exert personal agency and accept responsibility for stabbing the lobster’s head honors the lobster somehow and entitles one to eat it.

Typically we catch 10-20 lobsters a session, so the rest of the tails get frozen in milk cartons filled with ocean water until they are ready to be eaten. Fresh lobster is better, but 2 day old lobster that's been frozen in saltwater isn't noticeably different.

It is fucking ordeal to catch lobsters yourself – which is why those lobsters taste way better than the same lobsters from the fish market. We typically get down to the harbor at 4:30 or 5, grab some scraps of bait from the fish market, untangle the nets, hope there aren't maggots in them, put the bait scraps in pantyhose, tie those to the nets, find leftover 2 liter bottles in the recycling, put glowsticks in them, tie those to the nets, pack everything and a case of beer into the dingy, and set off. Then we drop all the nets one by one, circle back to the first one, pull it up, grab any lobster, check the length, throw them back if they are undersized, add new bait if it's gone, drop it the net back down, and repeat until we've hit our limit or we are too cold, wet, and stinky to do it anymore.

I never really thought about the killing part or pain that the lobster feel, beyond the fact that I'm too squeamish to take part in it myself. I don't necessarily like it but I don't know if it is better or worse than the slabs of pink meat I pick off the shelf at the grocery store every week. I have a higher respect for hunters who hunt, kill, skin, butcher, and eat their own meat than I have for myself picking $15 steaks out of a fridge. There really is something to eating something that required effort to obtain.

I don't know.

It's easier to ignore the death or horrible shit or pain or whatever. (This applies to everything - not just lobster.) Taking a moment to think about it instead of ignoring it or forcing it to the back of your mind is probably better in some sense. But it's also fucking depressing. One thing about being human is we get to rule this Earth - for better or for worse.

I think the takeaway from this piece is that we should all be more aware and reflective about the things we do, or animals we eat, or choices we make every day. The things that are easy to ignore can be quite interesting when examined – especially when examined by David Foster Wallace in ten thousand words. Does it mean that I'll stop eating lobster? No. Does it mean I'll think twice before throwing the lobster into the dingy next season? Not at all. But I'll probably think back to this essay next time I'm trying to wash the saltwater and fish smell out of my skin while licking my lips and watching lobster tails boil magnificently. Another thing about being human is we are capable of being reflective and empathetic. Maybe we should try to do more of the latter as we are ruling the world.

insomniasexx 154 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: March 25, 2015

Alright. So I'm going to attempt to be real without telling you to go out and rape. Let's see how that goes. (it's only 3am).

Girls like...certain guys. Call them the assholes or whatever. Say "girls don't like nice guys". It's not exactly that but it's what those statements are talking about. There are just some guys that I wouldn't ever be sexually or emotionally/relationshippy interested in. Yes they can be the nicest guy. Yes they can have everything I would ever want. But there has got to be some sexual chemistry. And I don't mean sexual as in literal penis in vagina sex sex. Just like...sexual in nature.

Whenever I hear the words "tell her my true feelings", I cringe. No guy has ever told me his "true feelings" until waaay later. There isn't like a couch scene where you watch a movie and then go "hey I like you" and then you live happily ever after. That is only going to result in awkwardness and force both of you to acknowledge the elephant in the room. In fact, I would argue that if any guy I ever dated or slept with had started with "hey I want to tell you something...I like you", I would not have dated or fucked him.

You know you like her. Trust me, she knows you like her. If the sexual relationship emotional shit isn't there, then it simply isn't there. You can't force it and trust me, even if you could, you wouldn't want it. Relationships and hook ups and all that fun stuff is only fun stuff when it happens naturally.

Furthermore, that "interested in a relationship" line is bullshit. Ignore it...sort of. I have used that phrase so many damn times when I wasn't interested in a guy. However, I have never gotten into a relationship when I wanted one. I have always unanimously (me, my heart, my brain, and my lady-bits that is) decided that relationships are bad and there are better things to spend my time and energy on. But I find myself in them anyways and, for the most part, it's been pretty great.

So, she could be saying "yo, I'm not interested in him" or "yo, this isn't the time or place for a relationship but if something good enough pops up unexpectedly I'll probably forget I said that."

So here's my advice:

1. Leave that shit alone. It isn't worth it. You are going to look back on this and laugh one day. Trust me.

Fully expecting you not to do that....

2. Stop playing the friend game. Don't be mean to her and don't ignore her outright. Simply stop chasing her for a week. Fuck the words. Fuck the over-thinking. Don't call her. Don't text her. Don't snapchat her a picture of your dick or whatever you kids are doing these days. See what she does. My current boyfriend chased me for like 3 weeks and I spontaneously replied to his texts and occasionally our free time lined up and we got to see each other. I wasn't that interested and I was really fucking busy and quitting my job and stuff. I had higher priorities. But the second my phone stopped buzzing ever morning, noon, and night... I texted him. I texted him because I missed talking with him and because I no longer took it for granted that he would text me.

3. Now, if she starts hitting you up, that's a good sign. If she doesn't -> #1.

4. Assuming you are either ignoring #3's direction to go to #1 or she's hitting you up...play it cool. Be responsive. Be nice. Forget to respond to a text or something. I don't know. Stop making her feel like she's the center of your universe for a second. I truly hate saying this because it can be so misconstrued as the "girls only like assholes" but here it goes anyways: I have never wanted to be with a guy when I was the center of his universe. Even when I'm in a relationship. I am fully aware how central I am/was to my boyfriend / ex's lives. But knowing a guy has better things to do than attempt to stick his stick in me is probably one of the biggest turn ons. It means he has found one thing more interesting than sex and that makes him much more interesting.

5. This is the hardest part. You must now force her...without forcing her literally....to get out of friend mode and into something more mode. Usually, I would suggest a nice alcoholic evening and dancing but that doesn't seem to be your style. So instead find something to do...like really do....and ask her to do it with you. And don't fucking take the pussy way out and go, "I got tickets for me and my friend and my friend bailed...wanna go?" But straight up and say, "Would you want to go to this show with me?" Now she knows there is a show. And she knows you want to go with her. If she says no...she #1. If she makes an excuse (I'm busy that day), see #1. If she says yes....then report back and I'll figure out how the fuck all that above shit worked and give you more advice. If you think her excuse is really valid, you can report back too. But I'll probably direct you to #1 anyways.

As for things to do...fuck the movies or anything where you can't talk. Shows really aren't that great as first dates but they work because you typically have a long drive and time in between sets. Fuck dinner because it's way too boring. Look for things like going to the beach (although that's easy to turn into a bunch of friends instead of the two of you) or going to an art show or something where you can engage, talk, and have things to talk about. That's another problem with dinner. There is literally nothing to talk about unless you are fabulous at small talk or happen to converse really, really well with each other.

PS: Also, I know the above was a lot of fucking and sex and stuff but it's all the same, regardless of whether you are trying to get with her or get with her. Even if you don't have sex, plan on having sex, it's still a sexual dance and human nature and stuff.

PSS: I am giving this advise solely on my understanding of the situation from this one post. Sorry if I missed some key detail last week that would make all that advice not apply. Link me to some backstory comments - you don't have to explain why I'm wrong. ;)

PSSS: Nothing. About. Sex. Or. Girls. Will. Ever. Be. Rational. So. Stop. Thinking. So. Damn. Much. ;)

Bring less stuff. Seriously. Pack your bag. Unpack. Throw half away. Pack the remaining half. Unpack. Throw half away. Then you are ready. Maybe.

Make friends.

Fall in love with Skype and Google Hangouts. Stay in touch with people stateside, but not obsessively so. Download whatsapp, chances are you'll be on a plan with not unlimited text messages. Prepare for terrible Internet prices and speeds due to lack of infrastructure. A USB dongle is a better deal than a Internet plan that you typically have stateside.

Get a world unlocked phone here if you are looking to get a new phone. If not, it's not bad to get your phone unlocked there. Kiosks in the malls all do it. I recommend Nexus 5 if you are looking for new world unlocked phone. I love mine - plus it is relatively cheap.

Drink more. Listen more. Engage more.

Flights via Hong Kong are occasionally cheaper than going directly from Sydney to the States. Keep an eye on these and you could score a free trip to Hong Kong when you come home to visit.

Order flat whites at the coffee shop. Don't put sugar in that shit.

Never say no to adventures or things that make you scared. If you are apprehensive and it's not because the activity in question is physically dangerous, it's a sure sign you should do it.

Things to bring rather than buy: make up, cosmetics, hair products, guitars, electronics, things from Victoria Secret, and anything else imported from the states. Things are just more expensive in Australia. I know the above are mostly female based but you get the idea.

Things not to buy or bring: OTC medicine (Australia's versions are better and same price range). Google us brand names to find the medicinal name or Australia brand name before you go to the pharmacy. Pharmacy workers are really sweet and will help you though too. It's quite different than here. Plus codeine in everything.

Money: I had bank of America when I was there and they partnered with one of the biggest banks there, meaning I could withdraw cash for free,rather than 2 atm fees and a foriegn transaction fee. Walk into your bank. Talk to them. If they can't offer you no fees on Oz, get a new bank. Seriously.

If you think you can handle a credit card, get a credit card with no foreign transaction fee. http://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/top-credit-cards/no-foreign-transaction-fee-credit-card/ There's only a couple out there but they are worth it. If you don't qualify for them, go get a chase freedom csrd TODAY. Use ~20% of your credit every month and pay it off every month. Before you leave, walk into chase and attempt to get them to upgrade you to their no foreign fees card.

insomniasexx 165 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: What do you worship?

I worship this life I live. A life full of ups and downs and unknowns and knowns.

I worship the fact that I have choices. This life of choice where I have control over what I do, who I speak to or don't speak to, what I learn, what jobs I take and don't take, who I piss off, who I befriend, what I listen to on the radio, what I watch before bed, what I buy at the grocery store.

I worship the Internet as well as the people around me in real life. The idiots and the trolls and the nice people and the mean people and my family and my boyfriend. The people on Hubski who never seem to piss me off. The knowledge they offer - even the idiots - that gives me the ability to learn new things and make different choices.

insomniasexx 214 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: How Do You Know You're Really in Love?x 2

When you are a better person and the world is a better place when you are together. When the way you feel, your confidence, your happiness, your everything is just a bit more shiny. When bad things aren't so bad and when stressful situations aren't so stressful. When it's you two vs the world. When not being together makes experiences more dull - not because you are dependent on one another but because you want to share the emotions from every experience. When you want the other person to be happy, feel amazing, experience amazing things, learn and grow and all that good stuff and their happiness, growth, experiences are as important to you as your own happiness. When it makes you happy to see them happy. When your wellbeing and their wellbeing are closely intertwined and you would do just about anything to make them well. When sacrifices aren't sacrifices when it's for them. When really bad movies don't annoy you because just holding or touching or being with the other person makes up for the horrid movie. When you catch yourself smiling uncontrollably remembering something for yesterday or last week. When you can just look at each other and be like "yup this is cool. This is all I need." when the urge to get shitfaced or smoke or whatever no longer seem as fun because it's more fun to remember the entire night and enjoy each other. When going to sleep is something you look forward to because it means you're going to be with them and no one else and nothing else and no one else can touch that. When you can look at each other and you don't have to say anything, you just know. When you stop trying so darn hard. When you don't wonder what else is out there or who else is out there or mind that this is going to be the only person you'll fuck forever and that actually sounds okay.

I don't know. There are so many little things. The big one is like... You just are good. You just are happy and content and alive. And you don't wonder if it's love or if it's forever or what they think of you. It's that moment when everything is just in place and right and there's no hesitation or questioning or doubts or insecurities. It's like the sky is blue and your boss is a shithead and you're in love. It's simple. It's so simple.

I'm. Like. A. Fucking. Hallmark. Fucking. Card. Shoot. Me. Now. :D

insomniasexx 298 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Goodbye Hubski, Thanks for Tryingx 2

bolds are notes that I added after writing it initially

Alright. I'm hungover as balls. I'm upset that I'm too hungover to enjoy Halloween again tonight. I'm mad that it fucking downpoured last night and I was stuck in Hollywood...in the rain....with 10,000 other people trying to get Uber/Lyft/Cabs/etc. I'm pissed that the cab ride we finally got cost us $106. I'm really upset that the costume I spent 2 full weeks creating and sewing (I don't even know how to sew!) was worn for 6 hours total and is now soggy.

And now I am sad and mad about this. The shallow, hungover side of me wants to respond "oh fuck off", hide it from my feed, and not deal with it. This is the third post in as many months that address similar themes in similar tones. All have left me feeling increasingly shitty and concerned.

One thing that worries me is that this is suddenly a pattern. I'm not sure if these posts are partially the result of the previous posts - are they like suicides, where one person jumps from the 18th floor of the library, and suddenly everyone decides to kill themselves by jumping from the 18th floor of the library? But, one person jumping doesn't cause everyone to jump - individuals still independently, and for their own reasons, decide to die. The pattern only lies in the method.

Which is why it's not okay for me / us not deal with this. Obviously, something is going on that is causing people to feel this way. Even if I don't agree with and don't respect the choice to antagonistically and selfishly peace out in this manner, I'm going to do my best to understand what is causing people to feel like this. You can't keep going if there is a problem and you can't fix the problem without knowing what the problem is.

Just like em's post. Just like the last post of someone leaving. I'm going to start by saying:


You have some valid points. Hubski is not perfect. Hubski does not perfectly encapsulate "a place for thoughtful discussion" all of the time. Sidenote: I'm not sure when the tagline became something that people are are using as evidence that Hubski is a failure. It's what Hubski aspires to be. It's what Hubski's goal is, has always been, and will always be. Perhaps it should be more explicit: "Hubski: where we try to be the place for thoughtful discussion but utterly fail.)


I'm also going to explain something not everyone knows. A while back, I fucking blew up at kb. It was not one of my finest moments. It was pretty terrible, and I managed to let loose on a comment of his that definitely didn't deserve it. (like...seriously...I could've picked any other comment and, while it wouldn't have justified the way I handled the situation, it would have at least made a tiny bit of sense. Nope. I like to do things the retarded way.) But at that time, I shared some of your sentiments about kb. I thought it was deliberately and purposefully pissing people off. I imagined he survived exclusively by drinking fat glasses of malice and I saw each comment as a steaming stream of malice piss... all over my face.


While my attack on kb was pretty much uncalled for on every level, the reasons I felt the way I felt about him were even more wrong. I can say, without a doubt, that kb does not write comments to piss you off. He does not get off on being a dick to you. A majority of the time, he doesn't even mean to be a dick. (There are times when he does - but they are blatantly obvious and usually short and sweet. They are also usually in response to people being dicks, or being outstandingly stupid and not even trying to not be stupid.) I will agree that kb likes to debate/argue/instigate/etc and once in a debate, he likes to win. He's also good at it, which is probably related to why he likes it so much. I like winning too. If I had any motivation, I would read the books he's recommended - or persuasion and anything else. (you're going to have to google site:hubski.com kleinbl00 books and start making a list.) At least then I would be armed with more than my 24 year old emotions before meddling with the devil on his home court.


Alas, I had no motivation and I found it much more productive and stress-free to simply not read every comment of his like he intended to piss you off. If you read them with the same respect you evidently feel that you deserve, you might find his tone is not as aggressive, combative, or personal as you make them. I know that simple change on my part allowed me to be more open minded, realize that kb is actually a pretty cool guy with a lot of crazy valuable insights, and actually will go out of his way to educate, discuss, and be helpful if you communicate with him. (Actually, even if you don't communicate with him. I think I have a still have a string of notes that I meant to respond to and never did....oops. Sorry kb!)

TLDR: HEY MAYBE KB REALLY IS A DICK TO YOU AND IM TOTALLY WRONG. (really - skip this part I'm only keeping it because it took me a lot of time)

You made it fucking difficult to find the shit you referenced when you deleted your account. I managed to find the latest movie thread, where he didn't respond to you...not even once.

1. I went through every single movie post tagged #movieclub and did a search for both "user-" and "klein". I found zero interaction...ever.

2. I did google search for hubski and your name and pulled up every page that google has indexed, and then searched for "klein". I found one interaction, from 106 days ago (you joined the site 155 days ago): https://hubski.com/pub?id=166843 Reading that thread, I see a fucking boatload of snark and instigation coming from you. Like...holy shit:

    It's that easy, but don't worry yourself over the fact that it makes no sense.

    This is why I stopped trying to have a conversation with you. For irony, I'll go ahead and mute you. I know it won't prove my point to you, but clearly you're incapable of understanding it anyway.

If you had responded to my points in that way, I would have gotten very agitated with you. I'm surprised that KB's responses were as mellow as they were. I was expected to find a battle. I found him making a few concise points with only one line that is not as concise, but not exactly earth-shatteringly snarky or aggressive: "The choice is simple: Are you willing to abase yourself enough to bridge the gap of discussion? Then do so. Would you rather sit in your castle of high dudgeon maintaining that you have no need to apologize? Then accept that you've been muted." (I'm curious if KB had muted you at this point and was using you to literally or if he was using you as a general pronoun? Based on the entire context, I am 99% sure its the latter and this may your first interaction with him.)

3. I then went through KBs comments for the last 50 days. proof

This is the ONLY INTERACTION BETWEEN YOU AND HIM IN THE LAST 50 days (besides the relationship post) here.:

Debate about NaNoWriMo where kb covers NaNoWriMo in a pile of shit

--- [KB attacks 8bit: "Never ask your parents or your friends for an honest opinion about your writing." :( 8bit: "Why ya gotta stunt on a brotha like that, Klein." Klein admits he's truly in love with Hubskina.}(https://hubski.com/pub?id=185751) :)

---- KB attacks NaNoWriMo with stats

---- You say why you write NaNoWriMo, agree with his thoughts on NaNo, disagree on...um....I'm not sure honestly

--- but then we end up at one lined snarkies by both sides -> you dont want to debate it further (what debate?) -> kb, "understand if I didn't give a shit about you and your writing, I wouldn't give a shit about this." -> you "I have no plans to mute you. I disagree with you, and that's the end of it" -> HUGGIES!

-------note: the above love from kb directly contradicts this statement you make: "and you definitely don’t care about the person to which you’re responding."

I don't even know if that's you. I hope its not serial lurker confusing me again. :(


Granted, if he responded to you and you never responded back, it wouldn't show up in my "user-" search on his comment page. So if that's the case and kb is literally commenting on your comments and posts incessantly and insulting you, I apologize. I truly don't think that's the case though.

and now I am upset for an entirely new reason.

Because you just made this fucking post and rage quit on us. I went and spent a good amount of time trying to figure out where the issues were, why we have people quitting on us like this, and what the fuck is going on. I wanted to know why Hubski is suddenly a place for not thoughtful discussion. What I found was that there is literally no evidence backing up your claims that KB is a dick to you, is everywhere, and is ruining your experience. Nor that hubski doesn't want to be thoughtful. I thought there were problems and omg the world might end. I feel deceived, and exhausted.

Fuck you.

Just kidding.

Interacting with people is what you make it. Hubski is what you make it. Somehow, you seem to have become obsessed with kb and perhaps it is this obsession that has caused you to think that he has invaded your space and is inescapable.* He is not. He does not dominate Hubski, as much as his follower count would lead you to believe. he average share of Kb's posts are no higher than any other active user who has been on the site for a bit. He may comment more and comment longer, but I don't see how his comments lead you to be unable to comment as well. I mean...just read the post and comment, man. Don't get all wrapped up in kb's comments.

Being obsessed with KB is a fairly typical thing - I wouldn't recommend asking _refugee_ for advice on how to not be obsessed with him, but perhaps you can start a kb-obsessed support group or something?

The fact that he doesn't seem to respond to you as much as you've lead us to believe also makes it very hard for me to understand the line about "...But I won't put up with being chased around and shouted down at every opportunity" I was genuinely concerned that kb may have turned into a rapist. But I think ref's point, "This reminds me, uncomfortably, of people who tell women to smile more....." is pretty spot on. The fact that you are the one who is publicly defacing kb shows a lot about your character.

This line doesn't make any sense to me: "

    Hubski could be better, but it won't be, because it doesn't want to be. There's no reason for me to participate here. I want to, because....I enjoy the community. But I won't...
" Why isn't there a reason for you to participate here? What are you trying to get out of Hubski? Do you not see yourself as providing valuable insights to Hubski? Do you not think you are getting enough attention? My turn to be selfish and melodramatic: if you enjoy it and gave a shit about any of us, why did you leave, especially in this fashion?

It's a real shame that good people can do a single thing that will forever change the way people perceive them and remember them. Frankly, I found you to be a cool guy and welcomed another developer on Hubski. I enjoyed the myriad of threads that we had that went for days (sometimes because I forgot to respond - other times because we just wandered about the conversation). As much as I'll try to remember those times and not this post when I think about you, the reality is is that this post carries much more weight as it is charged with emotion. Everything about this sucks...and it's raining again. Ah well... all those moments will be lost...like tears in rain and shit.

Alright. Here's my thoughts on this article, written over two days and via phone a bit in the cab drunk last night.

Shouting out flagamuffin bc you asked my thoughts. 8bit and cgod and kleinbl00 - you might find this interesting but I won't waste your notification space on it.


I joined Twitter for the first time in 2008, right after arriving at NYU, right before Obama was elected, right after sitting through orientation after orientation, listening to this liberal ass liberal arts school preach to me (this is a direct quote), "We won't tell you who to vote for but VOTE CHAAAAANGE!!!!!" MASSIVE CHEER FROM 1000 INCOMING FRESHMAN OVERWHELMS EVERYTHING Yeah. I was oriented. I was surprised that there were so many people who were so easily and enthusiastically for VOTE CHANGE when I was fully aware that I had no real idea what to expect from either candidate due to my ignorance about them and due to my ignorance of politics in general.

I grew up with parents that didn't talk much about politics because they didn't care much for it nor did they agree with each other. They always voted though and always respected each other's opinion, when the subject was broached. My mom was a teacher at a LAUSD continuation school (definition: " small campuses with low student-to-teacher ratios offering instruction to students between the ages of 16 and 18 who are deemed as risk of not completing their education." - basically a mixture of fuck ups, ESL kids, bad homes, etc.) My dad is an engineer, tinkerer extraordinaire, self-made (unknown sums of money)-aire.

In high school, I spent all of my time in video class - video prod and broadcast journalism. I read the LATimes every morning with my breakfast (by choice) but was required (for class) to do a write up of the minutes of NewsHour and a primetime cable news show each week: break down the minutes/seconds spent on commercials, ins & outs, human interest stories, investigative journalism, interviews, etc. Any interesting notes about b-roll, sound effects, on site anchors, etc. Compare and contrast the angles of any related stories. Basically, I was always up to date and analyzing.

In college, I found myself not reading the paper, not staying up to date, and feeling out of touch with the world. I rejected the mass following of Obama simply because he's Obama. I wanted to know what was going on and what people thought - all people thought - so I could try to figure out what I thought.

Enter Twitter.

It wasn't full of brands and it wasn't full of promotion. It was new. Oprah had yet to mention it. No one had a million subscribers. You talked with other people with similar interests. There was an "all tweets" feed and I would browse it a lot. Everyone did. Twitter started as a way for me to get news, see a variety of opinions on anything at any given time (man, watching the election and the VMAs with tweetdeck open was the best), and connect with random people who may or may not share interests with you. A quick follow of random people from the all feed and a couple news sites ensured you knew what was happening at any given time - all in 140 character snippets. That's all I had time for. Click a tag and figure out if it's popular or not by how many new tweets showed up on refresh. There was no auto refresh - you were limited to like 120 API requests / minute and a larger number but not 120x60 / hour.

I got into debates with movie bloggers (we used use twitlonger for debates without shame) , made random friends in the LA and NYC areas via apps that showed tweets posted within 5 miles of you, read stories, and mostly tweeted about movies, ranted about college, bragged getting drunk and my super awesome videos and scripts, and made vague and not-so-vague sexual comments that a typical 19 year old, sexually charged, liberal arts college girl would make. I am glad twitpic is going to die because there were no images in twitter and so all mine are there. If you feel like being nauseated by the shallowness of my early college years, here you go. I wouldn't recommend it. cringe

It was awesome. I've met probably 10 people from twitter over the years. 2 remain extremely close friends of mine and I value and respect their opinions and input on decisions I make in my life. A few still like and comment on my instagram. There were two people that I was really close with and we probably tweeted with each other every day. We'd always @ each other and bring each other into the conversation. The conversations weren't deep or intellectual or about anything besides day-to-day life, drama, parents, etc. But it was nice. Kind of like the pubski threads.

The biggest thing was your @username tweets showed by default. If I tweeted @username, everyone who followed me would see that tweet. This had a huge effect on how you found people to follow and what kind of conversations were started. I would see random tweet about a movie at another person, and follow him. Now you have a group of three, sort of. I would see a inflammatory tweet at a person, scroll both feeds forever trying to piece together the debate (there were services that did it automatically, but twitter had yet to implement any sort of 'this tweet was a reply to this tweet' feature. Then I would jump into the debate between two people who I had never talked to. We'd all follow each other and soon, there was a group of maybe 30-40 of us who were all either really into movies, small time movie bloggers, or even some of the "big guys" with legit sites and numerous authors. Those accounts - the ones with the name of the website - were not automatic. They were not just posts from the blog. They were real people, having real conversations, saying real things. That was the only way to get people to follow you. And twitter wasn't big enough that any off-color remarks would damage your brand.

The first change that sucked the community aspect out of twitter was removing the @ posts from the feed. Now someone had to choose to type .@username or some other hacky way if they wanted others to see it. But that eliminated the spontaneous nature of interactions that was occurring before. Plus, people didn't do it much because it was blatantly asking for attention.

The next big thing was Oprah. When she mentioned it, it suddenly became a thing that mattered. While this obviously was the start of "every brand, every blog, every promotion, etc" being on twitter, it had more subtle implications at first. Remember the random guy who ran of Big Time Movie Blog and tweeted from that account? He used to say things like "aw naw fuck j-Depp and the horse he rode in on. hes fuckin terrible in this. get a new fricken character dude." (I just made that up) . But no one fucking cared. It wasn't big enough to matter and no one would see it, no one was watching, tweets didn't make the news - even TMZ. Once Oprah got on that shit, it mattered and people had to watch what they said, especially from brand accounts. Everything became about promotion and branding and you have campaigns and teams of people dedicated to running the twitter accounts. Fucking up on Twitter is cause a front page story in the news now.

Here's a snap of some convos from as far back as Twitter API will let me go. 1 2. It's cringeworthy. It's ridiculous. It's spastic. It's insanity. I half-named stuff because I don't want this indexed by google like that...but I've met gso he's awesome still & in LA. He took sick photos of me on the beach when I first got back to LA in 2012. He had just quit his job to freelance and was so happy - when I decided to quit my job, I thought a lot about what he said that day and how fucking happy he was. I still talk to Calilaksdjflaksdjfuy on pretty much every social network...zomlaksdjflaksdjfbot too. justlikelaksdjflaksdjfnovel - I miss her. WarLorlaksdjflaksdjfdWrites was awesome - into poetry - from minnesota always making me feel shitty for bitching about 20 degree NYC weather. keilaksdjflaksdjfhsssdavis was one of my professors - I would tweet him during class and make him blush for fun. His bff was da......lmo and we would say horrible things to each other. He was prof for a class after mine the next semester and we'd leave each other candy in the green room - that dude just made a sick ass movie and I couldn't be happier for him. Also, $20 bucks says no one gives a flying fuck or reads about this ridiculously long self-centered comment. Holy shit, it is long. That's what I get for writing over the course of two days. Or, rather, what you get. :P Anyways, Rich was at Marvel, moved to LA to be at Disney last year, reached out & my mom gave him advice on which areas of LA would be nice for a growing family.

The point of the above gibberish is that yeah...I think twitter used to provide some sort of weird awesome community. There were connections and circles that were created over time. No one really cared about anything they said and it was all gone (well obviously not gone gone) in a day or so. It was never a community of intellectuals around a set of topics though - these were spontaneously formed communities between me, a person in my class, someone from his home town, and a random twitter buddy of his all talking about a movie or getting drunk or something. It was never conducive to discussion but in 2009 and in college, everyone was just looking to connect without being totally anonymous, but being anonymous, with no expectations or implications or rules.

Today though? Yeah. It's been taken over by big brands. It's 90% bots, 90% automated tweets, accounts have been sold, been bought, SEO accounts are everywhere, auto follows, auto responds, auto DMS - it wasn't like that before. You could and did have conversations. You had conversations with professors and classmates and literally random people that found you on the all feed that you would never have on Facebook or in person. You made friends and everyone saw everything and everyone saw nothing. You didn't buy followers. You didn't proofread tweets. You didn't post links to your blog only - that would ensure a drop in followers. You didn't auto DM on follow - that was tacky and proof that you were a bot.

The tags were awesome too. They still are - I genuinely think watching tags of live events is the best thing about twitter still. But you used to find people in the same area as you from twitter tags...and then become internet buddies forever. You would know about things before other people did and get photos of it delivered live and refreshing up as much as the broken, ghetto API would let you. There were no trending tags either, unless you had an outside app like tweet deck. Even then, it wasn't accurate. So those feeds were real people, not automated bots cluttering up the tags feed because they know people are looking at it. You didn't have lists. You couldn't follow lists. You could only follow like 200 users a day. You would constantly get the fail whale and too many API requests.

And yet somehow, even with no functionality, even with a fail whale site, broken api, limited search, horrible discovery, and 140 character limit, you could connect with people, make friends, and learn all about their life and they would learn all about yours. And we did.

As for whether I agree or disagree with the article, it's pretty irrelevant. People don't fucking expect community from Twitter, never did, and if you expect that, then you're a massive retard. This guy is massively retarded in that sense. Seriously, you are looking for the wrong things in twitter and then getting upset that it doesn't cater to you. FYI - it's not trying to. You ain't special - 60% of the people I talk to have a ballsack too, dude.

I will say that his points about being a glorified link aggregator, harassment, and being all about brands promoting shit are spot on. But that's not original or insightful at all. It's not that I didn't find his thoughts interesting. I did. First, because I didn't know having those thoughts about Twitter was still relevant and then because what he says and doesn't say about communities:

    Communities are, above all else, defined by membership, the ability for people to identify as a part of one, and to participate in activities, and share things and experiences with the group.

    Every user floats by themselves, interacting with who they please. This denies us the ability to build communities, to set social norms, and to enforce them.

    Twitter has absolutely no way for me to share with others that someone isn't a person I want in my communities

    It's fundamentally impossible to create a safe space with a public account, at any time anyone can jump in, and no one is empowered to help moderate it.

This is what is truly interesting: the same things that this guy despises about Twitter are the same reasons I loved it and what allowed me to connect with people. It's what makes twitter special. It's also what makes it horrible for communities and great for brands. But hey, get in before Oprah, and times were good.

I also find it interesting that moderation is such a huge part of what defines community for so many people. Like you can't do anything if you don't have a team of moderators making sure everyone is happy and no one gets injured. His thoughts that communities should " the ability for people to identify as a part of one, and to participate in activities, and share things and experiences with the group." is so lame I can't even hear myself think. Seriously? Sure, I guess that is true technically. But that sounds like a quick trip to echo chamber land, zero users land, and boredom land. How do you learn, grow, and meet new people if you are confined to a private board with heavy moderation and no way to have spontaneous interactions or off topic interactions?

What he says he wants is similar to Hubski: "I want a product that enables me to build and participate in communities, that encourages discussions and expressing meaningful ideas." I just find it hysterically silly that he believes that membership, being able to (publicly) identify as part of a group, participate in activities (hey, ever heard of adult rec leagues?), ways to hide posts from all outsiders he chooses, has moderators who ban and kick everyone who doesn't follow the rules to a T, disallow anyone not included from jumping in, and a UI / functionality that allows you to follow threads easily.

Sounds like he wants Facebook Groups. Yet, somehow, those don't spawn anything remotely interesting. I wonder why that is? Oh right...because you are creating a stagnant "community" with a rigid, big-ass wall around it, ignoring the fact that everything that makes online interaction unique stems from tearing down that wall.

insomniasexx 337 days ago  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 24, 2014

So exactly one week after I quit my job (read: after exactly one week of laziness, beach days, day drinking, partying and sleeping in until noon) I sent a random email to a old client as I was cleaning up my email. He was a guy who reached out to me via reddit almost 3 years ago for some tech copywriting and freelance work. Nothing big ever came of it but his email was still starred so I figured, "what the hell" and shot him a reply to his 3 year old email. Side note: I wouldn't realize until later that his email wasn't in my standard, professional gmail account. No. It was in my insomniasexx email account. That only makes this more impressive.

He gave me 10 minutes and zero interest. I called, we caught up, he was busy and not interested, I shot him an email with my recent work and outdated portfolio, and patted myself on the back for at least reaching out to him. It was kinda scary but it felt good after. Like, "Oh - that wasn't so bad or awkward." I emailed Thursday at 2am and the call was a Tuesday, Sept 2nd at noon.

The next day, my friend and I decided we were going camping. On the way to Jalama Beach in Santa Barbara, I ignore a call from an unknown number. Seconds later, I receive and email from the guy I had talked to the day before. I call him back and he patches in his creative director.

They ask me all sorts of questions about my process, the work on americhip.com, etc etc. Then they say they have a meeting with [two huge tech companies that you all have heard of] on Sept. 26th and need a site / company built out. The product exists and works, the funding is there, contracts with suppliers and distributors and all sorts of stuff have been signed. They just need to look like it's an actual company before Sept 26th.

Naturally, I said, "sure why not. I love a good challenge." I sent them a scope of work and estimate from a grocery store parking lot, from from my phone, and figured whatever. I over estimated my hours and gave the highest hourly I've ever given. I figured, even if they want 6 months of work in 1 month, they're still going to pay for 6 months of work! I let them know I won't have cell service until 10am the following day. That was Wednesday, Sept 3rd, 10am.

I drove up the hill to the cell phone spot and I had at least 6 emails of varying degrees of urgency. I find myself unexpectedly on a call with 6 guys with Big Ass titles to go over the project in more depth. I was in gray sweats, gray sweatshirt, greasy hair, no makeup, and sandals. I was sandy, dirty, and covered in smoke from last nights fire. I was standing on a hill with a foot of thorny grass poking my feet. My moleskin was propped on a decrepit old fence / barbed wire and I was trying notes faster than I could think. There was so much information to take in and this was so not the state to take it in. Oh well.

They tell me they've emailed me NDA, vendor service agreement, and signed off on my stuff. They will need an invoice and my banking info so they can wire me my 1/3 deposit. That was 9am Thursday and I hadn't showered since 9am Tuesday.

I received the deposit (about 125% of what my total monthly income was at Americhip) when I was driving back to town the next day.

Since then, I've successfully built a site essentially by myself for an industry I know nothing about. I learned Eclipse and the ridiculous Java based back-end their using so we don't have to code all the user permissions, accounts, etc. I still have to integrate the Java though. I don't know Java. Fuck Java. I've learned how to set a tomcat server and build the template / theme / project / permissions to it. I've learned what a permgen mem error is and how to fix it - even when the server won't restart.

I've read heaps of documentation and averaged 60/hours a week of work. I just got off a call with one of the guys regarding content, which should be done by tomorrow night. Because having content done 12 hours before a big meeting is the way to do things.

I worked 17 hours yesterday and went to bed at 3am. I woke up at 9am today and will probably work until 3am again today, with a sex/sleep break somewhere in there.

If you read my initial post on quitting my job, you know I went into it not expecting to make money, especially this soon. I'm making 3.5x what I made at Americhip from one client this month. I have 3 other clients I'm not even including in that number. In addition to the nice, unplanned income increase, I've done exactly what I wanted: I've worked with new people, learned new skills, and challenged myself to grow every day. So far, I've done it. Fuck yes.

All I can say is, thank god for sex. Otherwise the stress from this turnaround time would have most certainly killed me by now. 2 more days and I'm back to beach life. This was a nice little break though. :)

Checking my email on the hill:

The fence & sign at "Cell Phone Spot":

Hubskified that shit

Holy shit I just made a butt load of moeny and I look like this

Let's go surfing!