Many years ago a young man called Hugo decided he wanted to learn a foreign language. It sounded interesting, his friend Tom told him it was pointless but Hugo decided to try anyway. He picked up some books on the french language and begun his journey. After a while he began to struggle, he had no one to speak french to which made it pretty boring. What good was knowing how to ask where the Eiffel tower was when you weren't in france! Hugo gave up and felt depressed for a few weeks until he won the lottery. I hear he now employs a servant to speak french for him. Good old Hugo.
I know of another young man called Pascal who was in love with a pretty girl called Ada. She was so pretty that all the Bigwigs in the area bought her expensive gifts like fancy jeans and arc reactors. Adas friend Julia told her she was whoring herself out for gifts but Ada was all like "No its Cool".
Pascal desired Ada desperately and although he had no money he did know that Ada was originally from France and wanted to go back there someday. He decided to play on Adas desire to see her homeland as a way to entice her into romantic relations, such is often the way with true love. He studied hard but Pascal was infuriated by the language, "what the hell is all this gender based stuff, how the hell do you conjugate this stuff. Why is a door male and a doorway female, who the hell decided all of this crap". Only his desire to get all up in Adas bistro kept him focused. Once he was able to make basic smalltalk in french he decided to ask Ada if she wanted to get a cup of coffee or a cool glass of cola.
He did it with style, his french was perfect, even with a slightly Vendee accent. He smiled in triumph as Ada stared at him, stunned by his linguistic prowess. Ada said "eww no friggan way, like oh ma gawd get away from me you german freak". Such is the path that true love takes.