I've been broken. I've been healed by the transformative power of love, the possibility of hope even in a dark time.
Another thing that strikes me about your story is the sudden transition from darkness to possibility. That's how it happens. One minute you're on a bridge: the next you're finding a sense of Oneness with another sentient being.
Finally all through your journey, the highs and the lows, you've understood this: Stories happen to those who can tell them. I always felt that even during your saddest times, you had a sense of the narrative possibilities, so you crafted a story out of the darkness and shared it with us out here in the Hubskiverse. Sharing it helps you carry it a little more lightly.
Sounds like you're in Stage 2 of the Five Stages of Work. I heard this talk given by a CBC (Canada's National Radio Station) radio engineer as she reflected on her job there:
Stage 1. The Good Day: Your job gives you happiness, fulfilment, and meaning.
Stage 2. The Bad Day: Your job starts to irritate you. Everything you overlooked during the good day begins to stress you. You begin to learn some really unpleasant stuff about your workplace. You become frustrated, confused, and apathetic. You feel powerless.
Stage 3. Revenge: The bad days outnumber the good days. You become self-compensating for your stress. Self-compensation might range from taking home post-its to absenteeism to searching for or even doing a second job during your original job, and worse.
Stage 4. Personal Re-Engineering: You realize that you do value your job. It is the job you’ve always wanted. You explore how you can change so that you can once again have the good day. Personal re-engineering might involve asserting your concerns, negotiating with others, changing your expectations, and much more.
Stage 5. Redemption: Some of your days at work are so excellent, they redeem all the other stress involved.
Anyway, bfx, good luck sorting it all out. We want to see you happy.
OK, to answer your question
Position 10: The Ace of Pentacles. This card suggests that we will keep going
We may get cut down, but like the tree stump in this card, it is still alive with new branches growing from it. We don't know what has become of the old tree? All that remains are its many rings - it was old, but not wise enough to sustain itself.
The glow in the centre of the stump keeps it alive leading to the new growth.
Stay grounded, leave the light on in your heart.
This poem is handy to know. Recently a friend of mine dropped his iPhone into water. People said to put it in a bag with rice, a common response.
(Note - just checked the rice-cell phone solution here.)
The rice soution gave me a chance to quote Fire and [R]ice.)
Some say the cell phone will end in fire, some in rice.
From what I've tasted of desire, I hold with those who
But if it had to perish twice
I think I know enough of hate
to say that for destruction rice
is also great
and will suffice.
My friend said, "Wow, did you make that up just now?"
Clearly he wasn't a Frost fan.