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Quatrarius  ·  142 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 8, 2020  ·  

the year has begun wonderfully

now going by new name and pronouns openly (with the only people not knowing are the ones it hasn't come up yet around them with): parents also like the new name (my mum and i teared up together talking about it) and trying their darndest to use em - it's amazing how much weight is off my back already

3 days into the new semester and I'm feeling good about academics so far, things are more interesting so far at least so we'll see how it goes

i went on a bountiful shopping trip and finally found some comfy tank tops among other purdy things

gonna start hitting the gym again this weekend / upon getting a feel for how the flow of each week will go / when the january crowd eases slightly

also gonna make a bunch of phone calls for haircut / piercing / therapy appointments to get the ball rolling on all of that

updates pending

Quatrarius  ·  632 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 5, 2018  ·  

i am:

in college

making friends + meeting people

doing well in classes

feeling happy and confident, about myself and the things i'm doing

i have:

gone on a date with somebody (verdict: just friends)

gone to my first futbawl game (verdict: the student section is fun, but standing for 3 hours on concrete makes my feet hurt)

got invited to a linguistics research lab thing by a professor (verdict: very excited - first meeting on friday)

Thoughts

This is the happiest (and most consistently happy) that I can remember being, if not ever, then for a long time. I see no reason for things to get worse, and a lot of reasons for things to get better in the next little bit / the future.

(it's amazing how much easier things are when you consistently have energy and don't hate yourself)

Life is goodski.

Quatrarius  ·  663 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Take This Cheat Sheet To The Ballpark To Decide When To Leave  ·  

baseball is the most zen of sports - not "Zen" in caps, but zen all lowercase

you go to a baseball game because you want to sit outside for a couple hours and enjoy the weather / think about nothing in particular, and sometimes something mildly interesting happens and you get to participate in the group happiness of a stadium full of people entertained by a home run or a clever bunt or something

baseball is the game you take your kids and your grandkids to to eat some popcorn or peanuts or a hot dog or something, and get ice cream after the game

you can enjoy baseball on any level of understanding of it from "jack shit" to "nate silver", and that's okay, because actually going out to see a baseball game is not really about the game

that's why there are 10 thousand games per season and they play through the summer is because baseball is about slowing way down and enjoying little things in the moment you experience them

the "exciting" part of baseball is in the playoffs so if that's your goal just wait until then

there's an unaffiliated minor league about a half hour away from here with 4 teams and one stadium - they have a little plaza with food vendors and a playground, and there's a grass hill in the outfield that you can sit on and watch from, and they have little gimmicks to get people there like fireworks and a dog that gets the bats, and there's beauty in that experience that's really important

there's baseball happening in the middle there but the important part is everything on the edges