Yes! This is exactly it, and exactly how I feel about Murakami. At first, I was really confused, and couldn't tell if I enjoyed reading his works or not, but then I became infatuated with that confusion. As much as I read and reread, it's always there, and it's surreal, because I don't feel like that with any other author or artist or musician or anyone. I love it. It's only recently that I've been able to put my vague thoughts about Murakami into words, and it only works in these mostly unstructured blog posts. As soon as I try to work them up into something different, something more planned and formal, I begin to question myself and what I say so much that it all gets thrown away. Do you mind if I use your response in another blog post? I have another one about reading Murakami and that strange not-knowing-what-to-say sort of reaction, and you're the first I've talked to who has put it in a similar way to how I react.