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When I smoke weed I say stupid things and think they're smart. When I don't smoke weed I say smart things and think they're stupid. My most vivid "I shouldn't smoke dope" moment was listening to the Cure's "Push" with some friends and thinking "that's amazing! The notes - like - follow one another! Like math!" Listen to it sober? Yeah, dumbass, it's called a chord progression. I'm totally down with legalization. I'm totally down with others smoking dope. Me? I'll take bourbon. Bourbon doesn't give me a cold the next day.