self help books are checklists for things to get you out of the gutter: clean your room, don't drink so much, go outside, get your blood moving, have a conversation, spend time doing something you enjoy instead of staring at the walls

self help books written by scientists are like reading studies on what causes cancer: don't smoke, don't eat bacon, and don't get old, otherwise you're in the control group

my dad has hammertoes on both feet. i have bad flexibility in my toes. you know what i mean? there's always those diagrams and plans for the stages of grief or your hierarchy of needs or whatever but i have never found a checklist to make a difference in my happiness. either there is a proximate problem to be solved or there's nothing to be done and yoga is the solution to "i'm stressed out and i need to breathe deep a bit" tier problems and not "i am filled with pain and resentment" tier ones

feelings follow facts. the facts can be very different and the feelings stay the same long after they aren't caused by anything current, and the last thing that's helpful is some egghead saying "um actually it's biologically imprinted on your crainular stem and will never leave you" because even if that is true that doesn't mean there's a point to be actively thinking about this shit all the time

i dunno honestly i just get annoyed by this shit