I read that and I thought, you're a leading everything expert.

This is an annoyingly-common mistake. Fundamentally, I enjoy sharing the stuff that I know and strive diligently to STFU about stuff I don't.

If you look at relationships slightly askance you'll recognize that they're all transactional. There's a certain dirtiness to the word, though, that also implies they're zero-sum or negative-sum and they're not. I surmised a couple decades ago that friends are people you can obligate because it's those obligations that make a friendship. It was about the time I stopped saying "hey wanna see something" and started saying "hey can I show you something" because it puts the onus of the ask on the asker.

What's the phrase? A friend will help you move, a good friend will help you move a body? Graeber argued that the favor economy predated the money economy by thousands of years and is fundamentally healthier for everyone. If you look at it as an economy, the whole purpose is to generate revenue. A bunch of people doing favors for each other create a surplus of favors. A former co-teacher has called you several times to ask for stuff. You welcomed the opportunity to help her out, demonstrate your expertise, accept her accolades and thanks and further cement the bond between you. I say that's "transactional" but also highly desirable, virtuous and the fundamental basis of most of the good stuff in life.

I stopped talking to my best friend about a year ago. I have effectively cut him out of my life. It has never been a symmetrical relationship but he demonstrated that the potential positives for interacting with him were really sparse and utterly unpredictable while the potential negatives were a cliff-face of loss. If I think of the betrayal I get angry. If I think of the costs-benefits analysis I dispassionately cut him off.

interactions and favors allow both parties to demonstrate "this is why you matter to me." Healthy relationships generate surplus goodwill. What I've noticed is that I'm seldom rebuffed for reaching out, which makes it easier to do. It's still exhausting sometimes but I never regret it.