Eggs are, I think, the Rorschach Test of food snobbery. You cannot be a food critic or food observer or food "ie" or anything other than an uneducated lummox if you do not have deeply held opinions about the proper way to cook a fucking egg.

Whisk eggs in a medium bowl until very, very well combined

How combined? Not just combined. Not just very combined. Very, very combined. How combined is that? "(there should be no strands of egg white remaining, but be careful not to incorporate too much air)" OHHHHHH SHIT because you sure wouldn't want to end up with a Poulard Souffle! Or, let's be frank, a "fluffy omelet" or "super fluffy omelet" or "extra fluffy omelet" depending on whose search terms you're trying to monetize on Google.

I've had eggs cooked badly once. I was at summer camp, and the counselors decided that cracking several dozen eggs into ammo cans, shaking them vigorously and throwing them on a roaring campfire would be delicious. They were mistaken. That we were camping next to a sulfur hot spring did not improve the situation. But other than that, foodies'n'eggs are as amusing a combo to me as the Japanese and their ice.