over the past couple days i've been thinking that there's a pattern in my life where i go "the situation i'm currently in is causing me to feel this way, but once xyz happens it'll be better" and i think a much better explanation is that i'm depressed

i guess i already knew that, but it might have just sunk in

i've been on antidepressants for 2 years and as i've previously talked about that's basically when my life restarted - i've been back in therapy for the last couple weeks seeing the therapist who had seen me just before heading to uni. as i was talking to her about feeling uncomfortable being back with my parents she said something that really hit me, which was "two years really isn't a very long time. it makes sense that you'd be still affected by the bad things you experienced back then."

from how much my life has changed it's easy to forget how little time has passed

since that conversation a couple days ago, i've been able to consider / think about some things that i haven't processed emotionally or resolved in a satisfactory way from the past that i've been able to push away

it's rough but i feel like it's a good development